Queen of Hearts

men and women are not opposites. men and women are not enemies. men and women are two parts of a broad coalition which fights against a mutual enemy: inkjet printers

theyre called broad shoulders because theyre for women

god I'm such a slut for Chinese eggplant in garlic sauce *decides it’s inaccurate to refer to myself as a slut in light of my minimal sexual activity* if The Enemy discovered my ardor for Chinese eggplant in garlic sauce, they would gain a significant strategic advantage

Man I miss free the nipple. Its getting warmer and we don’t even have free the nipple anymore

For those who genuinely don't know, "free the nipple" is about going topless. As in no clothes over the tits at all.