a useful bottom

in chess the queens can kill each other which is toxic yuri and the kings can never get within a square of each other which is doomed yaoi

just overheard somwone say "hey dude i dont see the future I've got two balls and neither is made of crystal" and im absolutely losing it

everyone wants masc carpenter trade until his rough calloused handjob sands your thing down small and smooth as a river stone

there is something so crazy and powerful about having art of your oc that was made by anyone other than yourself. like oh my god you actually exist outside of my own brain that's WILD

Fighting the urge to loudly exclaim "cum in my butt boys. I'm done here" after I finish every single task

even if that random trans woman did do all that I don't care lol

I just saw the world's freshest baby in Panera bread. Like that thing was JUST out of the oven. I've heard of being wet behind the ears but this baby was wet behind the everything. It was still damp.

Happy pride month to my dad. When I came out as bi to him, this man googled what it ment, look at me and said "ohh. Yeah. You get that from me. You'd have far more siblings of I only shaged women." And went right back to his work emails.

ever since i was a little girl i knew i wanted to deny location sharing and turn off personalized ads and reject all non-essential cookies and not set up siri and face ID