Nevermind

i actually dont think dating a vampire would be fun imagine dating someone 200 years older than you like what do you talk about... steam engines

imagine introducing your vampire boyfriend to your friends and he goes “boy, that movie was a real lollapalooza!” & then starts listing every anti irish slur he knows

gays are too much. i hate us

this reporter had absolutely no clue how to respond to any of that 😂

fjdjshdkjdjfsk

I love my people.

online course students be like “ah yes today I will cheat”

i love little kids with very niche interests. Like for awhile I nannied for a family who had a little girl who loved old black and white movies. She adopted a transatlantic accent, constantly wore a long string of plastic pearls, and would often dramatically drape herself over pieces of furniture when told to do something and say “I just can’t do it babe”

i once dropped her stuffed animal and she yelled “there’s been a murder!”

Rolling down the runway, we’ve reached the speed necessary for LIFT-OFF!

he ASCENDS

It’s a Monty Python skit.

i the snail.

everybody here is perfect

I have never seen a happier snail omg

how youtube makeup gurus be to me.

True power

Me, Catholic, walking into a Protestant church with no depictions of Mary: where’s my mom

This final one is possibly my favorite addition to this post.