long live the car crash hearts

wedding dresses are white specifically so that if the bride goes axe-crazy you can rest assured you will see the blood stains all over her and it'll be sick as fuck

if you spoke to lestat or louis about your pain, they would say, "your pain? what about MY pain?" but if you spoke about your pain to armand he would say "let me lobotomize you and you will never feel pain again." he has a solution-based mindset and we could all learn from him.

Gosh I’d love to give it a try. It’s just so hard to find the time with all the *describes a daily schedule that is 65% dilly-dallying*

give the trees names and they will protect you

(approaches random tree) punch that bastard for me, krunglefuck 9600. punch him real good

sources say there are muscles in the back of my neck. and they want to kill me

I want everyone to see this section of a mostly unredacted judgement I’ve been reading. Mostly it’s fine, but occasionally they have to X out a word or a profit margin or something. But then I encountered paragraph of the year.

not everything is getting worse. at least you don't hear high hopes by panic at the disco every day anymore

Being a flop changed my life. The world is not my oyster, I am glowing. I walked into a pole this morning. There's very little I wouldn't do for $1,000

don't go into the humanities because they're unprofitable and don't go into stem cuz its getting torn apart right now and don't go into buisness because it's competetive and speculative and don't go into education because it pays like shit. Just lay on thr ground. Just lay on the ground.

but i stay silly! *←said in the most world-weary voice you ever did hear*

Reblog you stay silly

he could've just named the horse. seems like they weren't doing a whole lot in that desert. he had time

a book should be $5 a little drink should be $2 and museum access should be free and all hours

ive invented (note: dubious claim) something i call the bear diet which is mostly fruits and vegetables with fish as the main protein source and something like once a month you eat a few hyperprocessed foods of your liking because that is when you, the bear, raid a dumpster in the suburbs

after the hyperprocessed foods, do you take tranquilizers to simulate getting captured by animal control and returned to the wild?

i would settle for melatonin gummies but well. knock yourself out

i hate when things aren’t my business #whatisgoingon #dontleavemehanging #tellmesomethingplease