A System Different

I don’t know why it’s so hard sometimes to call people by their name. I can be staring at someone’s name tag and still be tentative. Rehearsing helps if I am the one initiating contact, but if someone else initiates it’s probably not going to happen.

It can be so overwhelming. To have your heart set on doing something, looking forward to it, rehearsing each moment of it over and over, only to have it squashed. The hardest part is knowing how irrational it is to be at such a high level of upset, but that doesn’t matter. A good scream into a pillow usually helps. An anecdotal story: One time I had to go to the bank to cash some checks and cash out my big jar of coins. The teller said they cannot take the coins as they did not have the machine to do the counting. I got upset so quickly and just turned around and started walking out. My spouse at the time had to grab my arm and stop me to remind me we had other things to take care of at the bank. I would have walked out and had to make another trip back to the bank another day had she not done that.

Sometimes my humor comes across as quick witted, but really it’s always the first visual I get in my head. Then the actual statement clicks and the joke is already ready to go. (Also note the left Handed handshake. Why, because it’s my comic, that’s why!)

The Daily Ouchies. Need I say more? Most often it ends up with me rolled up in a ball face down somewhere.

Nothing de-stresses and rejuvenates as well as engaging in a passion. For that period of time, nothing else exists, time stands still. Minutes become hours in a blink, and the problems and stresses of the day are gone.

Ain’t no party like a sweatpants party, Because Little Bucko’s sweatpants party don’t stop. Also, thank got snap button jeans aren’t the standard anymore. So hard to snap, and the jeans just hold a horrible tension all day, augh.

I’ve always had a hard time with photos, but I’m trying to change things up. The pigs have flown away, so it’s time for me to do the unimaginable, a selfie, GASP! This is me, and it’s the first selfie I’ve ever taken and posted.

Here is some music I’m working on for Bucko/asystemdifferent. It’s still in the super early stages, but I think it has a pretty good groove to it. A song about my physical experience throughout each and every day with Aspergers and Tourettes. Working Title: It’s NeuroLOGICAL. (Right now there is just some rough bass, drums, guitar, and vocals for the first verse. It’s basically a rough sketch right now) I’m trying to work on balancing my interests. I tend to go back and forth every few months between music and drawing, which has always been a detriment to completing my projects. I’ve always had such a hard time with singing songs I write, probably because I tend to try to mimic whatever is popular at the time, and to make sure it’s “cool”. I would always write lyrics about love and girls and self loathing. It never felt authentic to me. I’m done with that. This is asystemdifferent. To me, asystemdifferent stands for expressing myself both artistically and emotionally. And most importantly not censoring my self for fear of not meeting others expectations of me. Treating it as a sort of artistic journal. And in the words of Frank Reynolds, “I’m gonna get real weird with it”. (Also I totally forgot dinner and threw a pizza in the oven at 10. Worth it)

Sometimes we hurt the ones we love the most, and them us. Moving forward is hard and necessary, but Bucko will still always cherish the growth, fun, and adventure he experienced with Buttercup. Goodbye Buttercup. May you live life to the fullest and do more good in the world.

Some days, especially after a meltdown , it is so hard to even speak at a "normal" volume. No matter how many times I repeat myself, or how many times they ask me to speak up, I just can't. It's like asking someone with the stomach flu to just finish their dinner because you saw them eat their dinner last week before they were ill.

For your (and my) occasional dose of nonsense, enjoy Simply Corn Water. Hand selected and strained from only the most premium, choice corn water puddle left in your second grade hot lunch tray, chilled to perfection, and served in a mason jar (you can charge an extra $4 if you do the mason jar thing). Cleanses the heart, soul, and especially the colon. Oh ho boy does it cleanse that colon. For toxins, yeah, toxins. It's healthy now, not just some unexpected butt ipecac. Simply Corn Water, where healthy meets corn.

Little Bucko has very very few mild interests. Each one is all encompassing and intense. He wants to yo-yo, so he gets a book and practices every single trick in it. He likes origami, same thing, practices every item in the book over and over until it's committed to memory. And how can anyone miss the cool Transforming Robot animal toys. He transforms them over and over until memorized and sees how fast he can change each one, challenging anyone with hands to race. Bucko loves his toys, they are always great learnings and challenges.

He isn't picking his butt, or even fixing a wedgie. Sometimes clothes just don't sit right, sometimes your own skin doesn't sit right either. This includes the butt cheeks, which have to be separated to readjust. This is usually preceded with a quick look around to make sure no one sees his butt adjust.

The key is getting full blanket coverage. Except for the head and feet, having as little actual blanket contact as possible while being close enough to retain the warmth nicely.

Unfortunately this isn't something Bucko "grew out of", but such is the life of the perpetually curious. What is your story? I've done this with those old car cigarette lighters, shot my hand with an air soft gun, got so many prickles embedded in my hand from touching cacti, and many more.