Thinking about Kayne as a caring god again hmmmmmmmmm.
Thinking about his sacrifice, touching the Blackstone, willingly losing what he'd built himself to be for the sake of his dream, knowing that at least that part of himself would persist, if nothing else. Thinking about how his bloodlust isn't entirely the product of wanting to cause pain,(though that. is definitely still part of it) but of the knowledge that if his plans succeed, nothing prior to the new reality would matter. Thinking about his humanity that's so clear in comparison to other gods, his taken form, his referring to Azathoth as a father, his painting, his connection to Arthur through the piano, etc etc. How Nyarlathotep was always the most human of the lovecraftian pantheon. His need for connection showing through his fascination with humans, and the relatability through their craving of a purpose. Thinking about how even after he touched the stone, so close to the obelisk, he still offered Arthur one more chance at peace.
Thinking about his own hypocrisy. How that same bloodlust is what caused his downfall. How if he hadn't been so careless, if he had put more thought to his actions, if he had been less apathetic to these people, then he would've succeeded. Thinking about how he treated Lilith. How he held no love for his creation, how he imprisoned her. Put her in this box where nothing so powerful as her belongs. Thinking about how little he really paid mind to how humans find purpose, thinking them to be either too small-minded or just pitying them. Thinking about how, in the end, he didn't care anymore for that connection, that relatability, not even his identity. Thinking about how, just like Nyarlathotep was the most human, and how he always kept that aspect of himself close, despite his distaste for his original nature,
In the end, he took pride in that form gifted to him by an uncaring god.
