Shit.

*street shot of zohran mamdani clad in nasty lil suit and hard hat* five months ago i was elected mayor of new york city. in that time, we have managed to COMPLETELY defeat the Staten Island Minotaur at no additional cost to the new york taxpayer

When I was a kid watching tv was idiot coded and nerds read books, but now scrolling shortform videos is considered braindead behavior and watching tv means you're some kinda intellectual. You might think this shifting assessment of media's consumers might make readers into absolute super geniuses, but no. Only perverts read now.

common advice for social anxiety is to tell yourself "people aren't going to think less of you just because you said something a bit daft" but the thing is. sometimes they will. and you just have to learn to be cool with that and to treat it as a dnd random encounter rather than letting it ruin your whole day

PSA: no name is impossible to pronounce. no name is too hard to learn, no name is justifiably butchered. kids with 'different' names should be taught again and again that being called by their name is a right, not a privilege

Yes, there’s a big difference between getting as close as you can with your native language’s phonology, and just not even trying

"Be the one who tries."

Mommy's going to take you out of the freezer and leave you in a room temperature environment, ok? Awww you're already dripping condensation... There's a puddle gathering at your base, my leaky little condensation slut.

can you put that on a coaster

No. I want her to see all her little circle stains on the table...

okay thats cute and all but this table was my grandmother's so i would really appreciate it if you could stop and actually consider other peoples belongings for 2 fucking seconds

But both Mommy and my little condensation slut gave our condensent so like I feel like I shouldn't have to ask for yours... I guess I could get like a new table or whatever but it's just not the same if it isn't mahogany.

okay red what the fuck do you mean "condesent"

i love making art

-1hp

-1hp

-1hp

-1hp

-1hp

LETS BRING BACK 1337 SPEAK 

I THoUGHT YOU MEANT THE YEAR

my l0rd, t3h p34s4nt5 4r3 r3v01t1ng! W3 mu5t s411y f0rth 4g41n5t th3m 4thw1th!

Happy ten years of being so old no one knows what 1337 is

“we live in an uncaring universe” yeah dude and I live in an uncaring house. and I shit in an uncaring toilet. but do you touch an uncaring lover? do you comfort an uncaring child? do you guide to sleep each night a cold and uncaring self?

please hurry up in reblogging this I wanna jorts it before someone puts it in one of those heartwarming tiktok slideshows

i was like 'what could jorts it possibly mean' but as with many things clicking the original post immediately clarified the situation

passing in public makes me feel like white shrek

I have decided to make my dad's vision a reality

happy holidays. My dad is threatening to print this on a shirt

Op did he like it or did he love it