oh jesus. oh no.

I think that if you had enough daughters AND played your cards right you could spring Mambo Number Five out at the EXACT right gathering and shatter your entire family's trust forever

The secret is to name them out of order with the lyrics so by the time anyone catches on it's too late

For me personally the ideal gathering would be my funeral

*dirty talking* you’ve been a very bad boy and im just going to straight up kill you now

i think we should start giving yoshiki glasses, actually…

Does anyone care if the boulder is happy does anyone imagine the boulder to be happy? Or is everything about that other guy

functionally suicidal character saying “I would die for you” to their significant other and its like. I get the sentiment, honey, but if a hot dog vendor told me he’d sell hot dogs for me, I wouldn’t feel very moved now would I

Reblog to give mutuals a break from whatever they're been going through

i love people so much that im trying to be one myself. its a bit crazy, i know…

Parents are giving their children names no one has ever spoken out loud before

Baby Name Consultant is the type of job title you'd see people claim to have on HGTV while nitpicking 3 different multi-million dollar houses.