oh jesus. oh no.

they want you to care more about 'job' than yuri... don't fall for this scam

remember to bury the dead with a phone, everyone. these days the ferry terminal at the river styx wants you to download a fucking app

i must say, i am a huge fan of when a book is in the middle of a very exciting plot containing many interesting problems when out of nowhere for a few pages it's like, "hey by the way, real quick, here's a detailed explanation of the city's water filtration system! i'm telling you this for a reason and you should worry about it. anyway! haha okay back to the plot" and you just get to be Scared for a while

cmon child safety lid you know it's me

Richard Nixon once called in staff to help him open an allergy-pill bottle. It was the childproof type of bottle, with instructions saying “Press down while turning.” The cap had teeth marks on it where Nixon had apparently tried to gnaw it open

i can’t find the reblog chain that mentions it but it’s important to me that people know it was richard nixon himself that had signed the legislation requiring child safety lids on pill bottles

If you were really my friend you’d do this highly unethical experimental surgery on me

good morning to the beaten and the damned only