Captain of the Luna Wolves 2nd Company

Lord Exorcist: His helmet is cold and dispassionate, his book is full to the brim of names of people who are assholes, so he has done this a thousand times. This man will call you an asshole, but he takes no pleasure in it.

Lontann: This man is so devoted to call people assholes that he brought an octopus friend to confirm everything he’s saying. “This says ‘You’re an asshole,’ right Ochtar?” “Yes sir, what it says, you’re an asshole.” This man has gotten calling you an asshole down to a science.

Spoilpox Scrivner: This lad has contorted his mouth to be extra big so he can show off his list of assholes to everyone in a 100 yard radius. The guy he’s insulting doesn’t need to even be there, he just walks everywhere shouting “HEY EVERYONE, LOOK AT THIS LIST OF ASSHOLES I GOT!”

Scribbus Wretch: Scribbus is methodical about calling people assholes. He needs to make sure he gets everyone. Even if you die during the battle, he will walk over to your corpse, call you an asshole and check your name off his list.

Canoness: This woman has abandoned all pretense of methodically checking whether you are an asshole or not before she calls you it and has elected to toss her book aside and merely tell everyone who opposes her an asshole. It doesn’t matter what the book says, she knows you’re all assholes.

…To explain the joke, ‘praxis’ is essentially Latin for ‘practice’ as in ‘put into practice’. It’s also the more academic Marxist circle term for An/Comm ‘direct action’. This part of the joke is mostly for me, Jake, to snicker at given my long and quasi-sordid history with academic, theoretical Marxism before embracing much more uh, practical ground-level anarcho-syndicalism.

In-universe, the Ultramarines are prone to strategery consisting of establishing ‘theoreticals’ and ‘practicals’ as thought-exercises and to problem-solve, sometimes even in the field: possible solutions to problem - which one to implement. This is sometimes formatted in the books as “theoretical: (brief sentence). practical: (even more brief statement).”

For the fun of it, I’m re-imagining the infamous Angry Marines as a Chapter with some coherent background lore, less capslock and a bit less profanity: the Marines Irate.

Originally I just wanted to experiment with revising their colors and iconography into something more tactful, but it escalated a little. Primarily I’m trying to make a blend of something humorous and something that could actually work in Warhammer 40,000. Will keep uploading more “pages” as I make them.

What’s Mun giving away? Free Art. Full color. Shading not guaranteed but more than likely..

Why? Because I feel like drawing. Why the heck not? Also not everyone can afford a commission (not from me but from better artists) or do an art trade.

When? It’s going to be a raffle. Random drawing. Deadline August 15, 2019 11:59 pm Central Time.

How do you get in? Just reblog this post. One reblog is one entry for that blog. Can sideblogs join? Absolutely, and that is a separate entry. If you want to reblog but not join the raffle, just say in the tags “FYI”

What kind of art prize are we getting? ANYTHING YOU WANT. It doesn’t have to be Warhammer. ANY FANDOM IS OKAY. It can be anything within reason.

Is there anything you won’t draw? No pedophilia, no non-consensual, no coprophilia or weird stuff like that. Everything else is fair game. Also limit the characters to three at most because I can’t draw too many. Another thing, I have difficulty with armor and vehicles.

How will the winners be chosen? Random.org; Winners be contacted by DM/PM. If there’s no response after 3 days I’ll pick a new winner. If there’s enough entries, (like, more than 3 ahahahahhaha) I’ll pick 3 winners, otherwise I will just chose one. 

Thank you friends and followers!

A discussion with @mazarinedrake lead us to agree that Pre-heresy, Fulgrim was That Bitch that showed up 15 minute late to Primarch Meetings with a Starbucks, but also the guy with enough decency to also have everyone else’s order too.  Ergo, Pre-Heresy Primarch Starbucks Orders: Lion El’Johnson: Orders a Black Coffee then puts like 10 sugars and 20 creamers in it once he gets his hands on it.

Fulgrim: Sugarfree Coconut Milk Iced Coffee, but DID bring everyone else’s order too so ppl don’t judge him that much.

Perturabo: Tall Americano

Jakharti Khan: Trenta with as many shots of Espresso he can convince the Baristsa to put in, and a 5-hour energy for “creamer”.

Leman Russ: Complains that starbucks doesn’t have Beer, gets hot chocolate even though he’s both allergic to chocolate and lactose intolerant. 

Rogal Dorn: One Black Coffe ™

Konrad Curze: Triple Expresso, poured into his can of monster and drunk in front of Dad, God and everyone else.

Sanguinus: Decaf Unicorn Frap with Organic cane sugar and almond milk 

Ferrus Magnus: Complains that what starbucks makes isn’t TECHNICALLY a macchiato, but orders it anyway

Angorn: Never specified an order but the time Fulgrim gave him peppermint hot chocolate with marshmallows and sprinkes was the first time he did not use the hot beverage to assault someone SO-

Roubotte Guiliman:  Would have a Pumpkin Spice IV drip if possible.

Mortarion: Extra high fructose corn syrup, six shots, creamer-instead-of-milk Unicorn Frap.  Do NOT mix his and Sanguinus’ drinks up.

Magnus The Red: Order starts as a caramel macchiato but has so many substitutions and persnickety instructions that when it’s done it’s not.

Horus Lupercal: Keeps trying to order a “Double Double” and doesn’t understand why Starbucks and Tim Horton’s don’t have the same menu.

Lorgar Aurelian: Bottled water becuase Coffee is IMPURE (nvmd the morality of bottled water)

Vulkan: Matcha Frap, but he keeps smuggling Hotsauce in his armor and pours it in.  Everyone politely pretends not to notice.

Corvus Corax:  Lone Tea Drinker in the group. Has the Barista write “Black coffee” On the outside though.

Horus, sighing: Angron..

Angron: Fuck shit up out there, but don’t die.

Agents of Virtue. Each agent is paired with an angel representing a virtue that helps them fulfill a specific role within their squad. Noble in their purpose and swift in their dealing of justice they maintain the balance between worlds. 

1:Kindness, Powerful but frail magic user.

2: Humility. Stealth infiltrator/flanker

3: Charity. Support healer.

4: Chastity. CQC specialist.

5:Temperance. Strategists able to fill multiple roles.

6: Patience. DMR trapper/zone controller.

Carrion Empires.

Some rando: hey I bet you can’t build Ghal Maraz

The Man At Arms dudes: