I Thought It Would Be Funny @jakey-beefed-it - Tumblr Blog

Just put the finishing touches on this lad. I now have a proper Warsmith. It's a 40k model but the Cataphractii Armor just fits perfectly in my army! 👌🏼

jakey-beefed-it

Hell yeah, dude! Tell us his name, that we know what to yell at the skies while shaking our fists!

copperforge

I'd like him to be Warsmith Toramino, Leader of the Stor-Bezashk and the IVth Legion's Master of Ordnance and Siege Breaking

I think he fits right in 😏

jakey-beefed-it

@copperforge replied: also, Toraminooooo!! seems well screamable! 😅

You're so right. This deserves better art than I was able to throw together in like 20 seconds but here you go for now, my Praetor, Alexander Marius Taurinus, in his Saturnine beeg shoulder armor, doing his best scenery-chewing skyward scream

#jake plays warhammer 40k #boring personal bullshit

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copperforge

Just put the finishing touches on this lad. I now have a proper Warsmith. It's a 40k model but the Cataphractii Armor just fits perfectly in my army! 👌🏼

jakey-beefed-it

Hell yeah, dude! Tell us his name, that we know what to yell at the skies while shaking our fists!

#he looks awesome #i want to have him and marius taurinus get into a punch-up #friend art #Warhammer 30k #iron warriors

jakey-beefed-it

Recently discovered an advantage to being nearsighted as fuck: while painting details on my minis, instead of hunting for some magnifiers and struggling to use them in conjunction with my glasses, I... tilt my chin down and peer at the mini over my glasses. The advantages are twofold:

1. I'm so goddamned nearsighted that I can see their little faces and eyeballs perfectly clearly and thus greatly improve my accuracy

2. Giving the minis a slightly disappointed looking stare as I examine them for faults, thus instilling within them the feeling that nothing they do is quite good enough. This is either accurate (if their dice suck) or it drives them to excel (if their dice are hot).

jakey-beefed-it

This is the best face I've ever painted. I have a superpower. A disability superpower. I am shitty representation but look! At the face, the rest of it is still just basecoats.

#Jake plays Warhammer 30k

Recently discovered an advantage to being nearsighted as fuck: while painting details on my minis, instead of hunting for some magnifiers and struggling to use them in conjunction with my glasses, I... tilt my chin down and peer at the mini over my glasses. The advantages are twofold:

1. I'm so goddamned nearsighted that I can see their little faces and eyeballs perfectly clearly and thus greatly improve my accuracy

2. Giving the minis a slightly disappointed looking stare as I examine them for faults, thus instilling within them the feeling that nothing they do is quite good enough. This is either accurate (if their dice suck) or it drives them to excel (if their dice are hot).

#boring personal bullshit #Jake plays Warhammer 30k

My primaris techmarines have never done anything for me, and a Mortifactor lets me take 3 contemptor dreadnoughts in games of Horus heresy, so I have busted out the hobby saw and made the requisite sacrifices to kitbash this dude up. My spouse commented that he has a strong silhouette, and so I am very pleased with the result.

#Jake plays Warhammer 30k

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I have a Horus Heresy event coming up toward the end of October, and I have almost everything I need, but I still need to paint up a lot of it, and I need to scrape up an era-appropriate firstborn techmarine to be the dreadnought babysitter for my 1500 point zone mortalis list with 3 contemptors.

I have a couple of 40k techmarines I can possibly cannibalize the servo arms and a staff/axe from, but I might instead buy a resin guy next month.

#Jake plays Warhammer 30k

Our vengeance paladin, played by @motheatenscarf, is looking for her missing family, and she hatched a mad scheme to enact over downtime: rent the printing services of a weekly newspaper, print off a bunch of flyers (hand-drawing the horse herself), and instruct her bonded spirit steed to venture forth on a solo mission, racing across the realm like Shadowfax with his horseshoes of speed and lack of needing to eat or rest (being technically a spirit).

This delighted me to no end, so I thought I would share.

#Jake runs Dungeons and Dragons

spin-the-wheel-polls

you were almost turned into a vampire, but before you could be fully turned, the vampire was staked. This left you with a vampire weakness, while still being human.

Spin the wheel to find out your weakness!

How much does this effect you?

Nothing changes

It's inconvenient but I can deal with jty

It will be hard to adjust but I'll figure it out

I don't know if I'll be able to live like this

Maybe I can find another vampire to finish the turning?

I might just kill myself

Results/other

Remaining time: 4 days 4 minutes

thanks @theemmjay for submitting this poll idea!! Seriously it's such a cool concept I love it so much

#“you are repelled by holy symbols” changes very little for my atheist ass #it mostly just means I can't go into churches for funerals or weddings or to look at stained glass #since most of my friends aren't religious this won't come up often

catcrumb

Sometimes the best way to fight through frustration with a detailed paint job and unfounded anxieties about one's D&D game is to pull out a tank-hunting laser cyborg super-soldier entombed in a life-support killbot, throw on Panzermensch, and slap some base coats down.

#Jake plays Warahmmer 30k #geh g'radeaus #lass es raus!

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reading-writing-revolution

jakey-beefed-it

The most harrowing parts of mini painting, for me anyway, are the "sloppy basecoats" stage and the stage right after I've applied streaking grime but haven't taken any of it away yet.

Currently in the middle of sloppy basecoats on my Locutarus Storm Squad and jump Champion, just need to not think about how they look *currently* and keep plugging away. Trust the process, right?

jakey-beefed-it

Okay, yeah, got some washes and layers and a couple highlights going and they look okay. Still need to push the volumetric highlights further and edge highlight a few key areas before I can get to applying transfers and then weathering, but I can kinda see where it's going and I no longer hate it.

jakey-beefed-it

Welp. My volumetric highlights were way too sharp and even a glaze of talassar blue to tie it all together didn't fix it. At this point I have two options: proceed with transfers and weathering in the hope that the streaking grime will further tie it together, or go in and smooth out every single blend by hand.

If it was a more mundane unit I'd just soldier on and hope for the best, but as a fancy Legion specific unit I bought 3d printed bits for, I need to consider if I'll ever be satisfied with that. Maybe just added another couple days to this project. Sighhhhh.

My perfectionism is at war with my laziness. Which will win? Well, for now, laziness- I am gonna take a disgruntled nap about it. Will decide when I get up.

jakey-beefed-it

I remain undecided. I really don't even know where to begin now that the Tallassar blue is on there; it really shifts the tone such that my normal blues won't quite work over the top unless I do like, a full repaint. Which I really don't want to do. But ugh.

Anyhow here's an example. Second opinions welcome- do I start over on the blue and go slower with the blends, or do I say "good the hell enough" and proceed with transfers and weathering?

#Jake plays Warhammer 30k

As a big ol' fat guy, my 'waist' is more of a hypothetical than a physical reality. I have a big fat ass, but relative to my gut, it is but a pittance, and as such, when I wear pants, they tend to slide down in the back. To resolve this, I wear suspenders any and everywhere. Occasionally, people compliment them, as though they were a pure fashion choice rather than one made primarily out of necessity, fashion (color and style) being a secondary concern to sturdy, robust functionality such that I do not expose myself to the public.

Today, a woman with a tiny chihuahua on her way past me somewhere in a hurry called out "I love your suspenders" and instead of my default "Thanks, they keep my pants up" which is accurate, but often taken as a joke, and not the ideal response to a compliment (which is to return it), I said "Thanks, I love your dog!" This is an improvement, but still fundamentally misses the point of actually returning a compliment. I didn't have long to take much in about her but a white lie like "I love your hair" or "That's a nice shirt" or something would not have been amiss. But no. I complimented the dog.

In fairness to myself, it was a very tiny dog, and it had my full attention such that the woman carrying it was very much kind of a conceptual blur labeled as 'dog conveyance' in my mind before she addressed me.

#boring personal bullshit #this is a good neighborhood for spotting people walking their dogs #or in this case carrying her dog #and i love that about it #I don't have the space for a dog but I have had one or more for most of my life and I fucking love dogs #If I *had* to pick between cats and dogs and circumstances were neutral I'd say I *probably* am better suited to a cat #due to their relative social needs and energy levels and the fact that i am a fat and slow middle-aged guy #but tbh I love whichever i am currently looking at best

jakey-beefed-it

The most harrowing parts of mini painting, for me anyway, are the "sloppy basecoats" stage and the stage right after I've applied streaking grime but haven't taken any of it away yet.

Currently in the middle of sloppy basecoats on my Locutarus Storm Squad and jump Champion, just need to not think about how they look *currently* and keep plugging away. Trust the process, right?

jakey-beefed-it

Okay, yeah, got some washes and layers and a couple highlights going and they look okay. Still need to push the volumetric highlights further and edge highlight a few key areas before I can get to applying transfers and then weathering, but I can kinda see where it's going and I no longer hate it.

jakey-beefed-it

Welp. My volumetric highlights were way too sharp and even a glaze of talassar blue to tie it all together didn't fix it. At this point I have two options: proceed with transfers and weathering in the hope that the streaking grime will further tie it together, or go in and smooth out every single blend by hand.

If it was a more mundane unit I'd just soldier on and hope for the best, but as a fancy Legion specific unit I bought 3d printed bits for, I need to consider if I'll ever be satisfied with that. Maybe just added another couple days to this project. Sighhhhh.

My perfectionism is at war with my laziness. Which will win? Well, for now, laziness- I am gonna take a disgruntled nap about it. Will decide when I get up.

#Jake plays Warhammer 30k #the dilemma

In 4th edition D&D, both celestials and devils spoke "Supernal," presumably because of Asmodeus' origin as a god and his devils numbering a fair few fallen angels. In 5th edition, Celestial and Infernal are two entirely separate languages.

In my own campaign, I've gone largely with the 4th edition idea, and Celestial and Infernal are both *dialects* of Supernal. In-game, for obvious "I went to Catholic school" reasons, I represent both dialects with Latin. When called upon to have an NPC speak in their dialect, my pronunciation varies: Church Latin for Celestial and reconstructed Classical Latin for Infernal.

I also have a bunch of tiefling pirates who speak a slangy, piratical version of Infernal, which is Italian. I don't speak Italian (I barely read Latin) but the player whose character is tied to said tiefling pirates is a native Italian speaker, so he provides me with relevant phrases as needed.

#Jake runs Dungeons and Dragons

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mumblesplash

it's such bs that the whole guilt-ridden stoic self-sacrificing martyr thing doesn't work outside of fiction. repressing all your emotions and neglecting your physical wellbeing should make you god's most tragically beautiful morally unassailable little soldier of righteousness but all it does is give you bad skin and gastrointestinal problems

jakey-beefed-it

The most harrowing parts of mini painting, for me anyway, are the "sloppy basecoats" stage and the stage right after I've applied streaking grime but haven't taken any of it away yet.

Currently in the middle of sloppy basecoats on my Locutarus Storm Squad and jump Champion, just need to not think about how they look *currently* and keep plugging away. Trust the process, right?

jakey-beefed-it

Okay, yeah, got some washes and layers and a couple highlights going and they look okay. Still need to push the volumetric highlights further and edge highlight a few key areas before I can get to applying transfers and then weathering, but I can kinda see where it's going and I no longer hate it.

#Jake plays Warhammer 30k

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