I Thought It Would Be Funny

I ended up chopping up a disintegrator rifle, cutting out the entire middle and cutting the barrel off to get a more blunt, heavy look for a big-bored pistol. The wires going all over make it look complicated.

I think it has a different enough silhouete that it's not going to be too confusing for any potential opponents, though I might still chop off the telltale circle thing on the back that's on all disintegrator weapons. Or I might not; maybe it's a special disintegrator pistol from the Dark Age of Technology.

Actually come to think of it, the Custodes and Sisters of Silence have access to "adrathic" weapons that are basically "disintegrators but better, just too complicated to easily mass-produce and destructive enough that they don't want to change that." They're described as using "a potent but dangerously unstable energy beam to sever the internal bonds of matter, causing objects caught in their path to unravel in a spectacularly destructive manner, leaving only a flaring after-image of what was."

Wait a minute, that sounds a lot like an og phaser set to kill

This being Canada, it said in English "Extra Strength" directly above "Extra Efficace" in French, aligned with one another such that "Strength" was directly above "Efficace". Which I then misread as "Strengthen Your Carapace."

The obvious reaction would've been to do a double-take, expressing surprise and confusion, but instead I was just sorta internally "Yeah, makes sense" or even "Good health advice, thumbs up." It was a notable delay before I realized that humans do not have a carapace that would greatly benefit from strengthening. Probably no more than a second or so, but in the rapid-fire world of flowing thoughts, foggy or otherwise, that's a really long time to be comfortable with the idea of having a carapace that would require special care products.

In short, pictorial form, the whole thing went down kinda like:

STRENGTHEN YOUR CARAPACE

...

- is lactose intolerant

- one of my pills causes... intestinal issues

[A few minutes later]

rrruuuummmmmmmbllllle

Fortunately I am stubborn and had already more or less wrapped my head around it by the time I found an online army builder which simplified things a bit. It doesn't seem to have all the options, but it's good the hell enough.

I now have a very not-competitive 3000 point list with not enough anti-armor and FAR too many points sunk into my warlord, his retinue, and their sweet ride. Like, any unit they come into contact with will promptly evaporate beneath all those paired lightning claws, but anyone with a lick of sense will therefore keep well away.

I'm going on vacation soonish, and will be gone for the better part of 2 weeks, but WHEN I GET BACK, I will try to have my first game. Everyone in the citywide discord server for organizing games seems really nice and welcoming. I have been commenting on their stuff a lot! This will hopefully make them think positively about me and want to have games.

Then, however, they are gonna meet me in person. Horrible, awkward, person.