TIA JAY

Sending my best to everyone out there. I know things are scary and weird right now. When you feel overwhelmed, try to redirect your attention to things that are within your control such as activities you can engage in. Now is the perfect time to create healthy habits 😌 . Deseándoles lo mejor a todxs. Sé que estamos pasando momentos extraños y complicados. Si te sientes abrumadx, intenta enfocar tu atención en aquello que sí puedes controlar. Ahora es el momento ideal para crear buenos hábitos. 😌 . . .

1. Take a break from your thinking. Often we find we go around in circles, and just feel bad, when we think about our problems. Sp distract yourself for 5 minutes, or an hour, by doing something fun that changes how you feel (like listening to some music or going for a run.)

2. Try to evaluate and simplify the problem. We can blow small things out of all proportion, or we can start to feel as if everything is wrong. So, try to be rational and break the problem down – and sort out what’s an issue from peripheral stuff. Usually, doing that will help to change your perspective – so you feel less hopeless, and less overwhelmed.

3. Try to act as if you’re feeling laid back and confident. That can change the way you feel – so you feel much more relaxed, in control, and less bothered about the pressures you are facing. And when you feel more confident you’ll usually find your thinking’s clearer - and you can find solutions that will help reduce your stress.

4. Take control of situations – so you don’t feel like a victim. There’s usually something you can do to regain your sense of power. (Even if it’s really small – it will make a difference.)

5. We all have weaknesses – it simply means you’re human. So focus on your strengths as they’re a part of you as well. Don’t minimise or overlook your good points or achievements. They’ll always be with you and they’ll help you to succeed.

6. Your time is valuable so try to use it well. Don’t fritter it on worrying about the situation. Remember all the things you can be grateful for. Choose to focus on these instead of thinking about problems.

1.See the good in your past. There will always be things that we wish had never happened; there will always be bad memories and things that we regret. But they are part of who you are – so accept that they have happened and celebrate the person they’ve allowed you to become.

2. Invest time in the things that bring you happiness. It’s important to identify the things that you enjoy, and that make you come alive, and are all a part of “you”. Spending time on those things will help to raise your self-esteem, as you’re valuing yourself when you pursue happiness.

3. Forgive yourself for your mistakes. We all make mistakes - and when we think of them we cringe. But that doesn’t make you any worse than other people. Just learn what you can, and then move on with your life.

4. Stop criticising yourself. So often we’re really our own worst enemy. We look for our flaws, and we put ourselves down – instead of being understanding of our own limitations. It’s time to change that behaviour – so start loving yourself.

5. Listen to your instincts and your intuitions. If you want to love yourself, you must listen to yourself. Pay attention to those instincts and your instant gut reaction – and trust that you are right when you hear that inner voice.

Anyway, she follows it up with, “My husband and I just recently won our custody battle with our foster daughter and she means the world to us. She’s a beautiful African American girl and her hair looks a lot like yours. But I’m afraid because I don’t know what to do with her hair. It’s a lot different from mines and our other children and we are at a total lost. I’ve tried looking up the YouTube videos and my husband went to the braiding shops so they can teach him how to properly braid her hair, but he’s still pretty new and it will be a while before he gets used to it. Do you have any tips you can give me? If you don’t have the time, it’s okay, really! I just needed a little advice because I want her to look beautiful.”

Y’all. swear I almost started crying on aisle 6. So for the last 30 minutes, I spent my time talking to her and what products to use and how to properly detangle and comb her hair with the proper tools and what not to do with natural hair. And I showed her a bunch of easier to follow natural hair tutorials on YouTube and saved them for her. (I also had to create a YouTube account for her so she could save it for later.) but omfg, she was so sweet, and I could tell that she listened to every single thing I had to say and she took little notes on her little notepad.

And what really filled my heart was the fact that her husband actually taking classes from African braiding shops. And she showed me a picture of him wearing a little sweater vest and loafers in a little shop surrounded by beautiful black women showing him how to braid black hair and even the lady he’s braiding on is guiding his hands. And omfg. Bless these old white people and their black daughter who I know have new loving parents because they are willing to step out of their comfort zone just to make her feel and look beautiful.