Fandom Trash

*while sewing*: you are a fabric. you can stay a fabric. you do not yearn to return to being string.

*while spinning*: you are a thread. you can stay a thread. you do not yarn to return to being fluff.

*while embroidering*: you are a thread on a needle. you can just exist as thread on a needle. you do knot yearn to become a tangle.

*while turning wood* you are timber on a lathe. You can stay as timber on a lathe. You do not yearn to become a live hand grenade.

*while adding chemicals to a reaction* you are a stable substance. you are neither too hot nor too agitated. you do not yearn to explode violently and poison everyone in the building.

*Whilst throwing pottery* You are a wonderful mug. You can stay as a wonderful mug with walls. You do not yearn to return to a horrible lump of dirt.

*while doing digital art* you are a paint bucket tool. you will fill only inside these lines. you do not yearn to turn the entire canvas into your color

@stars-says-fuck

I'm gonna say it, I do think that even the laziest person imaginable should have a roof over their head, food in their stomach, and access to healthcare

My kids once expressed a plan to me that involved a time machine, Andrew Jackson, and a hickory walking stick containing a bomb. What it lacked in practicality, it made up for in understanding the history lesson I had just given them (having at that point thrown the school's weak-ass mid-lockdown lesson plan across the room and engaged in a furious rant about the real stuff). The more you look at history, the more you start thinking you're gonna need a bigger time machine.

actually we should start headcanoning female characters as being terrible with children

stop mother-ifying fictional literally all female characters. that fictional woman would not know what the fuck to do with a child

The Stolen Generation never ended.

sometimes u headcanon a character as a sexuality but then also ship things that contradict that. sometimes you ship things you would NEVER EVER want in canon. this is because these things are fun and silly and not legally binding.

Yeah I don't know where some people got this idea that fanfic is always like, auditioning to replace canon or being posited as "better" than canon, as opposed to people just borrowing the characters to play with in the sandpit for a while before putting them back in their box

a CRITTER? Carrying a BERRY?? Across a BRAMBLE VINE?????

The Ojibwe nailed it. Wawa is exactly the right name for a goose.

Miss Piggy tied to the mast while Statler and Waldorf heckle her from the sea

I'd bet anything you'd like no one would be complaining about 'historical accuracy' for that version.

This is going to sound so stupid but as someone from a subtropical area, I struggle to fathom the climate of Britain. I’ve been doing a lot of research on the climate of southern Wales. What do you mean the temperature is usually between 34°f and 66°f? The record low is only -9.9°f and the record high is 98°f? I’m from a place where it is usually between 30° f and 90°f, the record low is -34°f and the record high is 110°f. My brain cannot comprehend the idea of a place that isn’t freezing in the winter and sweltering in the summer. No life threatening temperature seesaw? No tornadoes? No hail?

It just rains, mists and drizzles? Theres a little snow sometimes?

“What’s the weather like there?” “None, really.”

The Gulf Stream is the only thing making the UK liveable and once it's gone we're fucked

It is wild that modern humans began consistently inhabiting Britain around 12,000 years ago after the last Ice Age and modern humans began inhabiting Australia about 65,000 years ago and North America around 30,000 years ago. Britain was an uninhabitable sheet of ice until relatively recently in terms of human history and people have been fighting the weather and wildlife of Australia and the Americas far longer.