what if we all explode
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what if we all explode
This very production of Orpheus & Eurydice is now available to stream, free, for the month of June.

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People on Tumblr love sharing information about themselves no matter how asinine it is. And I'm the same way. Everybody tell me what the last thing you drank was.
The other night husband and I were watching a documentary about the yeti where they were doing DNA analysis of samples of supposed yeti fur, and every one of them came back as bears.
Anyway, the next night we watched a thing about some pig man who is supposed to live in Vermont. People said it had claws and a pig nose but walked upright like a man. Now, I happen to know that sideshows used to shave bears and present them as pig men. So every piece of evidence they gave of this monster sounds to me like a bear with mange.
So now the running joke in our house is that everything is bears. Aliens? Bears. Loch Ness monster? Bear. Every cryptozoological mystery is just a very crafty bear.
Bears. They’re everywhere. Be wary. Anyone or anything could be a bear.
oh shit
As the OP of this post, I’m going to threaten that if this gets to one million notes by the 10 year anniversary on 1 June 2026, one year from today, I will get a lower back tattoo of the loch ness bear monster.
I know it feels like a lot but I really believe we can do it 20k notes per day isn’t that hard to do?
I’m sad because at this rate we might not make it
forgotten cuppa
little holmes and little watson hellooo! 💛

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"This is Ankh-Morpork, you know. We've got extra pronouns here."
GNU Terry Pratchett
The full quote is fascinating though, and adds an interesting context as it's Angua (a werewolf) and Carrot (human, but raised by dwarves) discussing a dwarf colleague, Cheery.
"Female? He told you he was female?" "She," Angua corrected. "This is Ankh-Morpork, you know. We've got extra pronouns here." She could smell his bewilderment... "Well, I would have though she'd have the decency to keep it to herself," Carrot said finally. "I don't think it's very clever, you know, to go around drawing attention to the fact." "Carrot, I think you might have something wrong with your head," said Angua. "What?" "I think you might have it stuck up your bum."
Sir Terry Pratchett - "Feet of Clay"
This is CARROT being the asshole. Carrot who has, throughout all the prior books, been depicted as basically the best of all possible people. He is noble, brave, considerate, kind. He is the good guy in the entire City...
... and yet, he grew up dwarf, and has picked up their more conservative views on gender identity.
Discworld dwarves start out in the books as basically a people without visible gender differences (thanks to the woman growing beards just like the men) and using "he/him" pronouns as their default. Anything else is seen as breaking the most basic of social conventions. (Dwarf dating is described early on as being two dwarves who like each other spending an inordinately long time trying to find out, as tactfully as possible, what gender the other dwarf is)
Carrot does immediately adopt the "she" pronoun for Cheery, which is but wishes she didn't make such a fuss about it. He's prepared to tolerate her choices, but he doesn't APPROVE of them, and thinks that that is enough.
Carrot, because he IS Carrot, does learn to open his mind on this subject, perhaps his final frontier of bias, but I do love that it's addressed as something he has to work on, and succeed.
And to Terry Pratchett's credit what started out as a throwaway joke about dwarf sex, gradually becomes a multi-volume subplot which is a fascinating exploration of gender and social identity as more dwarves start to "come out" as being female, and not just identifying as female, but changing their form of dress to something which matches who they are (they keep their beards though, because to a dwarf, that has nothing to do with gender, and everything to do with being a dwarf) and how their society has to adjust, with differing levels of comfort, to this new reality.
Carrot was also prejudiced against the undead early on as well. And the fact that he unlearns these views is a good example of a common theme in Pratchett's work
The overwhelming theme of Pratchett's work is change. Not good vs evil but progress vs stasis/going backwards. The protagonists of Pratchett's stories are people who can take on board new ideas and change and grow and adapt. Some of them start out as very stupid people with very stupid views in fact until they learn and grow and improve. The villains on the other hand are people who desperately want things to either stay the same or regress back to some imagined "Good old days" that they prefer.
While we're talking about Terry Pratchett gender, there's also golems, who are basically lumps of clay that have been brought to life but don't actually have any gender or secondary sexual characteristics so everyone defaults to male and he/him. As the books story goes on some of them decide to try being women just because.
Feet of Clay came out in 1996. I cannot overstate how pronoun discourse wasn't anywhere on the radar then. I'm fairly terminally online, active in fandom, and the first I can remember is some timid discussion of neopronouns in the mid-2000s, where "how could you tell other people to use them for you" was a major puzzle. (I still love neopronouns - zie/hir appeals to me in a way they distinctly doesn't, genderfluid though I am.)
ALSO also also
1) I don't have the book to hand, but when Cheery comes out she changes her name to Cheri, because "sometimes, when you shout who you are to the whole world, you need to do it quietly." It's such a beautiful expression of coming out being a process, and one that needn't be undertaken all at once.
2) Pterry had the best goyische take I've ever seen on golems, and I will die on that hill. It's not perfect, but it is really well-done, and it was done with respect, and to me that might be even more important than perfection.
I had the book to hand because I reread it recently. The quote goes:
When you've made up your mind to shout out who you are to the world, it's a relief to know that you can do it in a whisper.
THERE we go.
They DID that!!!
It took me about 15 seconds in to realize what was happening in this vid, but the second I did, I legit came. This is… I got chills and got so much validation for my theories about tap and pretty much any genre of music here…
Tap is probably one of the dance styles that gets the least amount of credit four how badass it is
Holy hell-
Sorry I don’t get it?
They’re tap dancing, a kind of dancing typically associated with being old-fashioned and kind of silly. Personally, even tap dancing to old music is awesome in my eyes, but this is on a totally new and exciting level
The thing about tap is that it’s so often seen as a fancy, old-fashioned dainty dance that only posh (and generally white) people do in tuxedos but it didn’t used to be the case.
Way back in the early days, it was where black performers in Vaudeville were legendary for it in Jazz and Jive routines. At about 1:37, this is where the Nicholas brothers go off.
It’s such an expressive and joyful kind of dance and matches so well with hip hop beats and rhythm, which is why the modern reworking of it is so awesome.
Im sure a lot of people also watch the op video and they assume that “clap” sound is part of the music just because a LOT of modern music samples that sound and in some music it is just the sound of hands clapping, but no that is a sound being made by all their shoes at once.
one of my favorite syncopated ladies routines
Has the world forgotten Gregory Hines?
When I was in the hospital, they gave me a big bracelet that said ALLERGY, but like. I'm allergic to bees. Were they going to prescribe me bees in there.
So there's a medication called hyaluronidase. It's used to make other medications absorb better, because it makes the cell wall more permeable.
One common usage is to make local anesthetic more effective during surgery, for instance. It's used in a number of injected medications.
Bee stings contain an enzyme very similar to this medication, so sometimes, people with bee allergies have an allergic reaction to hyaluronidase.
This is called cross-reactivity, where your body mistakes something for the thing it's actually allergic to, and has an allergic reaction anyway. For instance, sometimes people with latex allergies also are allergic to bananas and other fruits. They don't actually contain latex, but there are some similar proteins.
Apparently, hyraluronidase used in humans is derived from one of four sources: sheep testicles, cow testicles, cow testicles again, and GMO hamster ovaries.
tl;dr: They won't inject you with bees, but they might inject you with purified cow testicle juice, and your body might say 'eh, cow balls are BASICALLY bees' and try to kill you anyway.
The world is full of such beauty and wonder. Thank you for that sentence.
hey guys June Here New idea Desegregate Gendered Sports By making Incredibly difficult and filled with random challenges that can kill Any competitor At any time So it's completely balanced and everyone has an equal percent chance of getting blown up by flamethrowers and falling into Spike pits or being like trapped in a shadow realm can we make a Shadow Realm anyway like and repost if you think my idea is super awesome
like okay so I'm not a Football Genius or anything definitely not I'm not going to insult your intelligence by pretending I am but I really feel like if we as a society decided that on the football field there would be random Lava Pits disguised as normal field or zones containing a dark necrotic energy that could transform players who ran into it as zombies trying to kill their own teammates then I really feel like all genders could pretty easily all play football together at about an equal level of skill
typewriter!
I love the orchestra trying and failing to maintain a straight face throughout
Exactly. These people had to rehearse at least a few times all at once yet when it's nkt their turn to play they still look at that guy with the typewriter as if he was the most fascinating thing they have ever seen.
My husband's wind ensemble played this song when he was in high school! you can do it with normal auxillery percussion, but it's so much more fun if you do it with a real typewriter
now that is a writing mood
they were really like, the only reasonable approach to this piece is to insert a clown at the center of the orchestra
If you're not playing Leroy Anderson's 1953 classic "The Typewriter" with an actual typewriter on stage... why would you even BOTHER?
From wiki
According to the composer himself, as well as other musicians, the typewriter part is difficult because of how fast the typing speed is: even professional stenographers cannot do it, and only professional drummers have the necessary wrist flexibility

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Brotherhood of The Orb
A haunted doll mistaking a creepy android to be a bigger, stronger, haunted doll, and the creepy android mistaking the haunted doll as a smaller, sassier android.
Android: [gets hit with rain water and short circuits] Haunted Doll: H̷O̷L̴Y̷ ̶W̵A̷T̸E̷R̶ ̵W̴A̵T̴C̵H̴ ̶O̶U̷T̴
Haunted Doll, dying: N̶E̵E̸D̷ ̷S̸O̵U̵L̸S̷ Android: [opens the haunted doll’s back and replaces the batteries] Haunted Doll: A̶C̶C̷E̷P̸T̶A̷B̸L̵E̴ ̷S̴U̴B̸S̵T̸I̷T̷U̴T̵E̴
Android: [transfers their data into a better body] Haunted Doll: A̸ ̵F̴L̸A̷W̵L̷E̴S̵S̷ ̷B̶O̸D̶Y̵ ̷P̶O̵S̶S̵E̷S̶S̵I̷O̷N̴
Ghost and the Machine
This would be such a cute story omg
I imagine the doll is like a hyper little sister ready to create chaos while the robot is the more mature/stoic older sister watching over them :p
It could work the other way around tho :O I can also see the older robot being clueless and curious about stuff meanwhile the doll is actually way older and tries to watch over them and keep them safe :O
This idea could create so many cute dynamics :3
There’s a comic like this of the Among Us imposter being mistaken for a goof by one of the astronauts.
And yes I love unusual intersections of magic and technology that aren’t weird cliches. There’s this neat book “how to raise a robot army” in the same class as “how to survive a horror movie”, and it talks about how to use radar and other systems when fighting werewolves, vampires, etc. So now I’m thinking about other possibilities.
[influenced by Asimov’s Victory Unintentional]
The machine was obviously built for war; it was of stocky build, perfect symmetry, painted in digital woodland camouflage. It loped along a stone corridor on ball-socket legs. It carried a bullpup rifle with a top-loading magazine. It scanned the area, pinging the ancient environment with an ultrasonic proximity detector. The cameras didn’t see anything, just flashes from the lightning outside, but that didn’t mean the threat didn’t exist.
She was designed with a silver-painted spiked helmet to protect her array of cameras and observation systems behind a transparent aluminum visor. A-1, printed on her torso, was designed for use in confined spaces, where Euclidean geometry was merely an option. She wore a robotic tactical vest for her equipment. She reached the end of the corridor, following marks in the floor outside the visual light spectrum, and approaching a spiral staircase.
A-1 slung her rifle and stuck her head in for an instant then back out, faster than any human. She had a detailed image of the inside. The cameras couldn’t see the figure suspended in the ceiling cavity, but the ultrasonics outlined him.
She shifted back, reorienting herself and backpedaling. Her arms rotated 180 degrees around, grabbed the rifle, and came forward again. “Have at you, beast of metal!” the figure shouted and swung down into the corridor.
A-1 switched on her ultraviolet light beams and the figure screamed. Smoke wafted off his body as he shrieked. A-1 fired a burst of bullets, severing his leg. With him immobilized, she walked forward.
“Whoa, wait, hold on–!” the man scrambled back, revealing his pointed canines. A-1 stalked forward mercilessly, and seized his collar. He screamed in rage and pain again. Her touch burned him, and he recoiled from her visor. Her stubby thick fingers were painted in silver, blessed by the faith of their designers(for it is the faith not the symbol that makes it powerful).
“Horatio Fitzgerald?” She droned.
“Wait, h-hang on, this isn’t–” She scanned him with her secondary camera array; he didn’t show up in the primaries but the secondaries were pinhole cameras, using the camera obscura effect. Light came through a tiny hole in a tiny box in her head, a pixel-sized camera took another picture of that projected image. No mirrors were involved, and neither was the camera seeing him. She got a blurry but acceptable look of the figure. He fit the profile. “…how it’s supposed to go!” He finished, a milisecond having passed.
She pulled a wooden stake out of her vest and stabbed him. The creature shrieked a final time, then dissolved into a man-sized pile of dust and debris.
A-1 did not even slow down. She entered the stairway and grabbed a rope ladder hanging from the center. She thought it would hold her weight.
Crash!
Her builders, operating at a distance, knew they had some redesigns to make.
A-1’s systems came back online in the bowels of the castle, below where the records said the catacombs would be. Slowly she sat up, assessing her systems. She was in a pile of rubble. Moonlight came down from the top of the stairwell, leaving her visual cameras blind. But it was a mild inconvenience. Her sonic sensors crackled, hearing a growl at bearing 189.
“What’s this? A hunter come to find me? Only to be too heavy?” A voice sneered. A-1 rotated her head like an owl. Then turned over onto all fours, keeping her eyes on the speaker. The speaker was a tall, dark, and furry creature. He glowed in the dark of her infrared lights, his eyes like a jack-o-lantern. It moved towards her, and tilted its head. “Well, little hunter, I certainly don’t mind–” His voice caught in his throat.
A-1’s body moved like an insect, not fluidity but a solid maneuver. Inhuman even to the werewolf. “Identify yourself.”
“You are…” the werewolf mumbled. It twitched and winced, “What are you?”
A-1 rushed forward with her bayonet on her rifle. She stabbed the werewolf in the chest. He screamed and clawed at her, then only shrieked more. He tried to bite her head, and the spike took out his fangs; and the damage burned like fire.
Touching her chassis made his flesh burn, her very gaze caused him pain. Her cameras under the transparent aluminum only narrowed, as she fought to end the threat as quickly as possible.
He finally managed to get a grip on her, and hammered at the side of her helmet. But it was too late. “Are you… made of silver?!” He hissed, and collapsed. “Consecrated… robot…”
She was not consecrated in the traditional sense, but she wouldn’t tell him that. Besides, he was dead.
A-1 moved deeper into the catacombs. Her ultrasonic was dislocated. She could use radar, but the ultrasonics were needed in certain environments.
She entered a chamber of bodies. Two pillars held up the room, and there were cavities set in either side of the chamber holding bodies. It seemed to have been used as storage, with a lot of crates stuffed into the corners. A-1 moved forward cautiously.
A-1 was just about to stop and calibrate the ultrasonic when a vampire lord attacked.
He didn’t survive this long by being stupid. He popped out from behind one of the pillars as she passed. He swung a huge chunk of concrete and struck her across the back. A-1 was knocked forward and hit the ground. She crashed into a stack of crates, shattering delicate contents. She rotated her arms back, her torso still facing forward, and he knocked the weapon aside.
“The hunters haven’t tried something like you in a long time…” He said, and moved in for the kill.
“Not since me,” a voice said. A-1 tilted her head back. A small creature, shaped like a doll and perhaps 30 centimeters in height, climbed out of the crates. No infrared signature, but it was clearly armed. With a long butcher knife.
“Hell’s bells, how did you get loose?!” The vampire lord demanded.
With a maniacal giggle, the humanoid creature leapt forward, bounced off A-1’s head, and launched herself at the lord. She slashed and cut his face, laughing all the while.
A-1 scrambled to her rifle. The lord finally used his strength to grab the doll and threw him across the room. A-1’s bullets ripped into his chest. She flicked on the ultraviolets and he shrieked. She pulled out a stake.
The doll giggled again, and dove on the vampire again, this time swinging a fragment of crate. The lord’s faze froze in horror and anger, before collapsing in a heap.
The two combatants stood there, verifying that the monster was dead. The doll picked up her knife and wiped it off on the lord’s coat. “I haven’t seen something like you in a while.”
“Are you an infiltration model?” A-1 asked.
“Of a sort,” the doll said. “Something like you, I should think.”
“Affirmative. We should continue with our mission.”
“Clearing out the vamps and doggies?”
“Affirmative.”
A-1 offered her a ride on her shoulder. They continued on into the depths of the catacombs. “You must be water-cooled. You don’t show up on my infrared.”
“Huh? Your soul must be a bit loose there, friend. But no wonder. I’m not sensing any mana off of you.”
Both made mental notes to send the other in for their own health when they got back to base.
I am once again vexed by what the bullet journal has become, when there are people who could really find value in the simplistic organization method it was originally designed to be by someone with ADHD
I really think people need to accept the fact that their aesthetically markered and extravagantly washi taped notebooks are actually art journals or even scrapbooks or junk journals, not bullet journals as a tool to help stay organized
You ever think about how unified humanity is by just everyday experiences? Tudor peasants had hangnails, nobles in the Qin dynasty had favorite foods, workers in the 1700s liked seeing flowers growing in pavement cracks, a cook in medieval Iran teared up cutting onions, a mom in 1300 told her son not to get grass stains on his clothes, some girl in the past loved staying up late to see the sun rise.
there are scriptures all over the world painstakingly crafted hundreds of years ago with paw prints and spelling mistakes or drawings covering up mistakes. a bunch of teenage girls 2000 years ago gathered to walk around their hometown, getting fast food and laughing with their friends. two friends shared blankets before people lived in houses. a mother ran a fine comb through her child’s hair and told it to stop squirming sometime in the 1000s. there are covered up sewing mistakes in couture dresses from the 1800s, some poor roman burnt their food so well past recognition that they just buried the entire pot. there are broken dishes hidden in gardens of people no one even remembers anymore
children eleven thousand years ago enjoyed jumping around in puddles made from the footprints of a giant sloth. children loved muddy puddles so long ago there were still megafauna alive
There’s a record of an emperor of Japan in the 9th century talking about his cat - how pretty it is, and how it stalks birds and curls up in a circle and meows mournfully for company and escaped its collar. All completely normal ordinary cat things. And then it ends with him saying “it is superior to all other cats”. I am delighted to be united across 1200 years with this fellow cat owner with exactly the same feelings about his cat that I have about mine.
Why don't they make stained glass fish tanks? Give those fish Catholic guilt
fascinated by the implication that it's the stained glass that gives catholics the guilt
I FOUND THE. FISH CAN’T SIN POST.
I had to do it.
I've been put in the tank 😔

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I'm a big fan of wizards-as-programmers, but I think it's so much better when you lean into programming tropes.
A spell the wizard uses to light the group's campfire has an error somewhere in its depths, and sometimes it doesn't work at all. The wizard spends a lot of his time trying to track down the exact conditions that cause the failure.
The wizard is attempting to create a new spell that marries two older spells together, but while they were both written within the context of Zephyrus the Starweaver's foundational work, they each used a slightly different version, and untangling the collisions make a short project take months of work.
The wizard has grown too comfortable reusing old spells, and in particular, his teleportation spell keeps finding its components rearranged and remixed, its parts copied into a dozen different places in the spellbook. This is overall not actually a problem per se, but the party's rogue grows a bit concerned when the wizard's "drying spell" seems to just be a special case of teleportation where you teleport five feet to the left and leave the wetness behind.
A wizard is constantly fiddling with his spells, making minor tweaks and changes, getting them easier to cast, with better effects, adding bells and whistles. The "shelter for the night" spell includes a tea kettle that brings itself to a boil at dawn, which the wizard is inordinately pleased with. He reports on efficiency improvements to the indifference of anyone listening.
A different wizard immediately forgets all details of his spells after he's written them. He could not begin to tell you how any of it works, at least not without sitting down for a few hours or days to figure out how he set things up. The point is that it works, and once it does, the wizard can safely stop thinking about it.
Wizards enjoy each other's company, but you must be circumspect about spellwork. Having another wizard look through your spellbook makes you aware of every minor flaw, and you might not be able to answer questions about why a spell was written in a certain way, if you remember at all.
Wizards all have their own preferences as far as which scripts they write in, the formatting of their spellbook, its dimensions and material quality, and of course which famous wizards they've taken the most foundational knowledge from. The enlightened view is that all approaches have their strengths and weaknesses, but this has never stopped anyone from getting into a protracted argument.
Sometimes a wizard will sit down with an ancient tome attempting to find answers to a complicated problem, and finally find someone from across time who was trying to do the same thing, only for the final note to be "nevermind, fixed it".
if you're confused about all the pumpkins and ghosts and stuff, it's actually a sort of seasonal harvest festival in parts of the northern hemisphere. yeah, it's kinda weird to think about how it's autumn down there when up here it's spring, haha yeah imagine them all, upside down, and getting colder in october when it's just starting to warm up
and can you imagine, down there it's COLD at christmas, crazy right?
that's nonsense, why would it be cold at christmas, it doesn't even make sense? that's a festival about the birth of something??? obviously that happens in summer.
Excuse me?! What you guys doing calling the northern hemisphere "down there"?! We're north. That's UP on a map when it's oriented properly.
what the fuck are you talking about?
that's upside down and yah know it lol. Now I know ya joking. Also what is going on with Canada on that map?
what a weird map lol why is aotearoa all the way off to the side?? do they really have these things in your schools? i guess they put them next to the normal map so you feel more relevant or something?
Mine is the normal map. You find it in all the official literature and such. 🙄
ohhhhh of course, like in your northern hemisphere regional textbooks, that's so cute