Floating in the Blue

Vampire girl explaining that vampires don’t necessarily have to kill someone to drink their blood, but she did kind of kill a lot of people back when she was all depressed pre-transition: “when I was an egg I ate four dozen lads”

guy who's having gauzy idealized wife flashbacks for the whole adventure but it turns out she isn't dead or anything he just really misses her and wants to get home

knowing that the past tense of "hang" is "hanged" when it's a method of execution can be very entertaining because you'll be watching a horror movie and someone goes "local legend says a woman was hung in these woods" and you're like "👀 good for her I guess"

everyones got that fic they chip away at like michaelangelo sculpting david. and brother? its penis month

asked my friends if they knew what i was referencing and they said no. we all know that post where someone divided how long it took michelangelo to sculpt david by it's size and went "yuuuuup. whole month spent on penis" right. sure, my search history is full variations upon "michelangelo penis month tumblr" to no avail, but we all know it. right.

Hi, that was a MBMBAM bit. But i see you and i hear you and i dont know if someone already said something

Mutuals who I have hardly spoken with but we instead communicate through silently liking and reblogging each other's posts... I hope you're all having a lovely day ✨

inspired: merfolk actually have very different concepts of gender to humans because they’re an entirely different species with their own unique culture

It’s a biological fact that fish do indeed change their sex to keep the male/female ratio balanced in their school population. So this fluidity actually makes more sense from a scientific standpoint than the silly idea that merfolk are born with a strictly assigned sex like humans.

Merfolk are all canonically genderfluid and we love them for that

OH MY GOD

So in the presence of a ship with an entirely or mostly male crew, nearby mermaids would become female to keep the balance.

That’s it. We figured out why everyone thinks merfolk are all women. Get a boat of fems out there and let’s see what they report.

#i literally crack up everytime #at least ten of the notes are from me

when my dad was a little kid there was a day at school where his teacher put on the muppet show as a treat and then later when he got home he remembered that there was also a new episode of the muppet show airing that evening and he excitedly professed to his parents that he was “happy because it’s a two muppet day” and even now whenever a day is pleasantly surprising my family calls it a “Two Muppet Day” :)

im not invested enough in skip to consider it but what would be a real interesting premise for a fic is if kip was just at every game of scott's and is generally considered a connoisseur of the good game of hockey by the regulars in the stands and he's in on all the gossip and they can tell his fruity ass is obviously enamoured by scott but his dad and him seem to be bonding through the hockey fan experience and they're like what the hell sure gay people can like sports and kip is indeed a fan and he just plays along with it and has bets and stuff with a lot of scott hunter fans and haters alike and the whole time scott's panicking because he gets a little too into it kip cannot stop talking gameplay even in the bedroom and scott's like babe you gotta stop

i need this completed or ill die who is kitty?? WHO IS LYDIA

@scyllas-revenge this has your name written all over it. twice.

Ahh my two favorite things smushed together!!

when i forget to log into ao3 and i have to click proceed to see an adult fic, i actually get a kick out of it. like i am an old timey queen and my bard is apologetic: “gentle lady, dicks doth touch in this next ballad. would you prefer another?” and i give him a gesture of command like, “nay, you may proceed, minstrel. bring forth the tale of dicks”