big lesbian

So a couple quick disclaimers before we get started.

First, last time around, some people seemed to have difficulty distinguishing between when I was stating a fact, and when I was stating an opinion. The reason I cite to so many of prince's posts is so you can look and decide for yourselves what you think of the actual "facts" of the story. I am not prince, I cannot read prince's mind, and I am not writing this story. I am just someone who loves prince's work and who loves to analyze stories. So everything I say here is me describing my views and thoughts.

Second, some people also found it very distressing that I presented my analysis the way that I did, so let me explain what you're in for. When I get excited about a fic, I like to talk about it. I like to theorycraft. I like to look for details, and pull them apart, and see where they go, and when I come up with an idea about how everything fits together, I say what I think. In my excitement, I rarely bother to qualify that by saying "I think maybe X," I just say the thing I believe. Sometimes I engage in hyperbole and take ideas to the extreme and I trust that my readers can recognize when I'm doing that and will not conclude, for example, that I secretly hate Zoey if I happen to criticize something she does in extreme terms. If all that sounds like it would be upsetting to you, I want you to know that I completely understand. There's a button in the drop down menu called "not interested in this post," and I invite you to press it and keep scrolling.

Because the reason I love these characters so much is that I have been in a lot of rooms where people told me I was too much, that I was too abrasive, that I needed to make myself smaller, to hide who I really was, to soften how I talk and downplay my ideas in order to be accepted, and I did, for a very long time. In some places in my life, unfortunately, I still have to. But I'm not going to do that here. Not in this fandom, for reasons that should be obvious to anyone who cares about these characters. So if my style in these posts is not your cup of tea, I promise I'm not offended. Please keep scrolling and read prince's stuff and don't worry about what I think.

Everyone else? Let's do this.

Why Aren't We Done With The Angst?

Because nothing's resolved. We just saw posts in which Rumi hid a major award from Zoey and Mira, had multiple phone calls ignored while Zoey and Mira enjoyed their night without a thought for Rumi or Myung-soo (Rumi and Zoey's son), Zoey had someone else send the wrong flowers to congratulate Rumi in an incredibly impersonal way, then Rumi missed a call, ignored others, Zoey refused to leave a message, then when Zoey called the next day she handed the phone off to someone else to hang up on Rumi mid-sentence, then Mira called Rumi to call her out for hiding the award (and talked over her during) while Rumi pretended like she thought the flowers counted as a genuine congratulations…

And then they had A Talk. Yes, they said some lovely words to each other. But how much of all that did they address?

…almost none of it. Rumi, covering up her flower tattoos of every flower Zoey ever gave her, crossing her arms like she does when she feels attacked, said that she lied because she didn't want Zoey to miss the opportunity to headline a show. And that's it. Even assuming that what Rumi says is true, the fact of that manipulation by Rumi and lack of trust it represents is never addressed. Rumi's minimization of her own feelings and accomplishments is not resolved. Zoey not answering Rumi, or returning her calls, or taking the time to actually order flowers personally is not addressed. Neither is the fact that Mira was right there with Zoey and had plenty of time to send photos of her and Zoey together and post at least one to IG, but no time to call Rumi himself.

This is a "papering over" conversation. Everyone reaffirms their love, the biggest surface level issue is discussed, and no one pushes deeper, and nothing changes. The cycle continues unless everyone does the hard work of taking the time, next time they're together, to actually revisit these painful moments and talk them out. Do you have any confidence any of them will actually do that? I don't. Zoey and Rumi especially, despite their deep and genuine love for each other, have exhibited HUGE communication issues, and the last couple days of posts have only reinforced those. So. Let's talk, one at a time, about Rumi and Zoey.

Why is Rumi Like That?

Rumi is not doing OK. She's lied about her feelings. She broke a promise to Zoey (the nature of which we don't know for sure yet). She's hidden important facts from Zoey and Mira. She hasn't communicated about any of the things that are clearly bothering her. But she lies and fails to communicate for two specific purposes: to make herself smaller, and to make Zoey happier. Rumi has no issue talking about her transphobic metaphorical sperm donor Suho, so it's not that she's unwilling to discuss her feelings generally. She has been specifically unwilling to draw positive attention to herself, and averse to doing anything that will make Zoey unhappy or upset unless she literally has no choice because she's backed herself into a corner.

So what gives? I suspect the answer to that is going to be one of the key throughlines in this story, so let's look at some options.

Option 1: Rumi Is Just Like That Because She's Rumi

I've seen a lot of people say that Rumi is 100% at fault for her behavior and everything wrong in this relationship, and suggest that Rumi is like this because that's Rumi! Hiding her faults and fears, right? I don't think so.

In canon, Rumi doesn't come up with the need to hide her faults and fears. It's a learned behavior. Celine teaches her to act that way. Do you think Celine in this fic taught her that? Loving, caring Celine, whom Rumi goes to even when she's upset with Mi-yeong, who has never once said anything close to that to this Rumi as far as we've seen? I don't buy it.

Option 2: Rumi Is Like That For a Specific Mystery Reason

I've seen some people propose that Rumi is Like This because of some specific past trauma, or series of traumas, that carries over into the present. I've sometimes seen this presented as an explanation for why Zoey is completely blameless, such that the story is really about how Rumi is at fault for failing to adequately process her trauma. It doesn't have to be that way, of course, and I think that this could easily be part of the explanation.

One version of this is a past relationship. It's confirmed in tags that they dated other people after Rumi and Jinu broke up and before they got together.

get loved gayboy : [pre-established zumi] the moment i

So it's entirely possible that Rumi had one or more bad relationships that made her uncomfortable celebrating herself or doing something she knew would make her partner unhappy.

Another alternative, and one I'm personally partial to, is that Rumi being trans is the reason for some or all of this. @/dreampaladin has noted, and I agree, that this potentially "deepens her need to hide, to pull away, for fear of being hurt, for not being enough of a woman for zoey."

I would personally love to see more about Rumi's transition and the impact on her.

But I don't believe this is the only reason, nor the one that is currently motivating things. If Zoey and Rumi have been in a healthy, loving relationship with no serious issues for several years (or at least, none Zoey could see), why is Rumi's emotional trauma related to her transition coming to the forefront now?

get loved gayboy : behind the scenes

On a more meta note, Rumi's transition has not been a huge point of focus so far (though that could change), which also suggests, for the time being, it's not going to be the exclusive explanation.

Option 3: Rumi Is Like That Because She Feels Emotionally Unsafe With Zoey In Certain Circumstances

Now we're getting somewhere. The biggest piece of evidence in support of this option is Zoey's reaction to Rumi's hiding her award, and how Rumi reacts in turn. When she's talking to Mira, Zoey appears sad and concerned:

get loved gayboy : behind the scenes

But once Zoey gets Rumi on the phone, it's a different story. Zoey calls a little more than 30 seconds before she has to go on stage (or possibly five minutes, with four and a half minutes of conversation happening offscreen), which is not a recipe for an in-depth conversation either way. We can tell it's Zoey who called because of the exclamation point after Rumi's response, and the fact that Rumi is asking Zoey to wait so she can get Myung-soo. If Rumi called and wanted Myung-soo to talk to Zoey, she'd already have him in hand. Zoey tells Rumi it wasn't Rumi's decision to make to keep the award from Zoey. Then Zoey, having set up a situation where she knew she could not finish the call, hands the phone off to Mystery to hang up on her wife. Mystery objects, because Rumi is still on the line! Rumi refuses to acknowledge that Zoey has done something hurtful, and says she'll call back.

get loved gayboy : "We're not done talking about this."

Zoey's anger is very understandable, and we'll talk about the timing and the choice to hang up more when we get to her, but I don't think her anger is productive. I actually think it's a big part of the reason Rumi hid the award, and I think it's why she will continue to make herself smaller in future and continue to hide things from Zoey.

Let's say, hypothetically, that all Rumi needs to fix her problem is a stern talking to, clear communication. For Zoey and Mira to say they want to celebrate her, and tell her unequivocally to tell them about things like that next time. If that does the trick, then we're done! Angst over! Hooray! …I don't think it will do the trick. After all, Zoey "doesn't understand why" Rumi wouldn't tell her, because Zoey's told her… we don't hear the answer, but I'm guessing that the rest of the sentence is "she wants Rumi to tell her about things like this."

get loved gayboy : i saw my hope slip away

So why hasn't telling Rumi to do these things led to her doing them? For the answer, let's look at how their responses feel to Rumi.

From Rumi's perspective, what is the immediate emotional consequence of Mira and Zoey finding out about the award? Rumi gets scolded. She's told she did something wrong. Zoey withholds affection and has someone else hang up on Rumi mid-sentence. Rumi takes this in stride, like she expected it and accepts it. Like it's happened before.

Then Mira calls and talks over her. Rumi doesn't roll over like she did for Zoey; she interrupts right back. Mira seems offended that Rumi is surprised by the call, even though this is the first time we've seen Mira call Rumi on the trip. Rumi points out that Mira is busy, but there's more to it than just the words exchanged:

get loved gayboy : "I know. After this show, we'll talk. I promise."

The framing in that post is so fascinating and tells us so much about both Mira's attitude towards Rumi and Rumi's towards Mira as opposed to Zoey. Look at Mira at the start: she's even more closed off than Rumi! Her back is to the viewer. Her arm is crossed in front of her, in a very similar posture to Rumi's classic defensive stance. And of course it is: she's upset, and feels like Rumi isn't treating her like a true partner! But then look at Rumi. Her posture isn't defensive at all (yet). It's open. Relaxed. Arm at her side. She's got this adorable faint smile on her face when Mira calls her his girlfriend. Compare that to when Zoey called earlier and Rumi didn't answer (we don't have Rumi's face in the call where Zoey hangs up on her):

get loved gayboy : i saw my hope slip away

Compared to how she looks when even THINKING about talking to Zoey, Rumi is practically glowing when Mira calls. At first. Then Mira wants to talk about the award. Mira's trying in the next panel. Their posture is open; the viewer can see her in profile. She's not smiling, but not frowning either; his face is relaxed, because he's making a bid for connection now, not expressing resentment at Rumi.

Now look at Rumi in the last panel. Mira's talking about celebrating her and NOW Rumi is closed off. Defensive posture. Back to the viewer. Dismissing the need for congratulations because she "got your flowers" (Mira's flowers, or Mira's and Zoey's?). Because while Mira thinks he's making a bid for connection, Rumi experiences it as something else entirely.

When Rumi lets Mira and Zoey find out about the award, both of them tell her she did something wrong at a time when she is emotionally vulnerable, already knows she did something wrong, and already did not feel emotionally safe enough to share about the award.

In other words, if we're talking gut level, Pavlovian response, when Rumi lets Zoey (and now Mira) find out about good things that happened to her, she is made to feel bad. I don't think it matters to Rumi that the core reason she feels bad is her lack of communication and not the fact of receiving recognition. If it did, we wouldn't be seeing this unhealthy behavior pattern. If Rumi associates her pain with receiving attention or recognition, wouldn't that make her less likely to seek it out in the future? If that's right, I would expect to see Rumi be even MORE closed off in the future, not less, when it comes to this sort of thing until Mira and Zoey change their approach.

There's also the possibility that Rumi judges the likelihood of success in asking for things by how likely she is to receive more basic needs. For example, if Rumi is in pain (which I think she is), and her immediate emotional need is for people not to hurt her, and then Zoey and Mira hurt her more, why would she feel like she can ask for more than that? Why would she ask to be celebrated? Why would she expose herself to not only the pain of being hurt unintentionally, but the additional pain of Zoey and/or Mira not being able to honor that request? I don't mean to suggest that these are correct or positive thought processes, but if Rumi is spiraling, I think this might be the direction in which she would spiral.

And finally, is it worth it? What evidence does Rumi have that she will be celebrated in a way that actually feels good if she tells Zoey? Well, we only have the present to make inferences about the past, and in the present, Zoey offloads some of the mental burden of doing things for Rumi to Bobby. Bobby suggests flowers, and Zoey responds "Just because?" As if they've done this before, Bobby suggesting Zoey do things for Rumi, and Zoey agreeing.

get loved gayboy : the rust that grew between telephones

But if they have done this before, it certainly hasn't done anything to make Rumi feel celebrated. Because Bobby doesn't know the right flowers to send.

If this is something that has happened before, then Rumi's expectation for the "upside" of telling Zoey about her accomplishments is that she'll get flowers from Zoey's assistant that remind her Zoey is too busy to celebrate Rumi herself. If you were Rumi, and the best celebration you could hope for was that, would you lean into that, or avoid it? If you could avoid it without Zoey finding out, would it feel better to hide your accomplishments, to have no acknowledgment at all, than to have a sign that the love of your life couldn't be bothered? After all, if Rumi has been doing this, then she's been successfully hiding her accomplishments (and avoiding Zoey's wrath for hiding them) for years.

get loved gayboy : behind the scenes

Have I mentioned that Rumi stutters when she's upset in a situation where she can't say out loud that she's upset?

get loved gayboy : crestfallen on the landing

I wonder if there are any scenes where Rumi implies that her expectation of a celebration is no greater than being sent the wrong flowers?

get loved gayboy : "I know. After this show, we'll talk. I promise."

Hey, I wonder if Zoey has ever doubted out loud whether Rumi actually knows that Zoey loves her? I wonder if Rumi has ever said out loud that she believes she loves Zoey more than Zoey loves her in a circumstance where she could act like she didn't mean it if anyone ever called her on it?

So if I'm right…we've got a long way to go. Because that would mean Zoey doesn't even understand her role in this cycle, much less how to stop it.

Which brings us to…

Why Is Zoey Like That?

Yes, I have a tendency towards hyperbole, and yes, I've probably said some things about Zoey that came off as extreme, but I love Zoey. I identify so, so much with this character, and I think there are some wonderful, painful, and hopefully healing things for her down the line. But for now, I think Zoey has done a lot of things that hurt Rumi over and over again in a very short span of time, and I want to talk about why that might be. First, a quick roundup of recent events.

She didn't answer the phone when Rumi called, even though Rumi is watching over Myung-soo.

get loved gayboy : runway ready

She went the whole night with Mira hanging out, eating dinner, and cuddling in bed without once calling Rumi back.

get loved gayboy : i.m.mira: thank god for late night ny diners

get loved gayboy : the rust that grew between telephones

If Bobby hadn't called, it appears Zoey and Mira would have gone to bed without even thinking about calling Rumi or texting her. But "it's Bobby," so Zoey was willing to pick up. "It's Rumi" was not a reason for her to put things off and answer the phone, but "it's Bobby" is. (We've already talked about the flowers)

When she got angry and was being called to stage, she hung up on Rumi.

So, what are some possible explanations for all of this?

Explanation 1: ZOEY IS THE WORST, A MALICIOUS EVIL VILLAIN, THE AWFULEST PARTNER IN THE WORLD!!!

…sorry, some people have tried to tell me that I think this, so I had to include it. I'm not going to waste much time on it. I'm sure there are lots of awesome stories to be told with evil!Zoey or bad partner!Zoey, but I don't think this is one, and I see no evidence of maliciousness by Zoey. To the contrary, she is extremely thoughtful and caring, and fairly perceptive when it comes to recognizing Rumi's moods, even if she can't identify their cause, when she is in Rumi's presence or can give Rumi her undivided attention. We'll come back to that.

Explanation 2: Zoey is in love

I've seen some people posit that Zoey is just so deep in the joy of a new relationship that she is blind to Rumi's pain and Rumi's needs. I don't think this is implausible, and I think that Zoey has certainly seemed to be distracted by Mira. But this feels like it's only one degree removed from "Zoey is a bad partner." Because if you're ignoring your wife and kid because you're with your other partner? Not even calling her back or texting after she's called multiple times? Your mileage may vary, but I don't buy that when we have contrary evidence that she can at least try to attend to Rumi's emotional needs (in person) even when Mira is in the picture, and even though Rumi makes it difficult by shutting down:

get loved gayboy : "I promise."

Explanation 3: Zoey forgot her wedding ring

I'm sorry, that's not really the explanation, but it leads me to one:

get loved gayboy : the rust that grew between telephones

Zoey isn't wearing her wedding ring here. Why is that? It's not like Zoey would take it off to avoid being reminded of Rumi. In fact, there are other instances where Zoey isn't wearing her ring, including in front of Rumi, so I don't think this is intentional by her (assuming it's even intentional by prince, I'm sure it's tough to remember to draw the ring every time!). But this got me thinking about Zoey taking off her wedding ring and forgetting to put it back on, and that got me thinking about this:

Real Explanation 3: Zoey has ADHD (or AuDHD)

For some people with ADHD, object permanence is a myth. It can be hard to keep track of multiple priorities, to the point where you can sometimes only focus on what's the next thing. And if you're presented with two things at once, equally urgent? You have to make a snap decision as to which is most important to get done, because there's a good chance you'll forget the other one immediately. I'll give you an example.

Let's say you're on a business trip, and your wife calls, and you have multiple people depending upon you who are in the room with you to do something immediate and time sensitive and you're not sure why your wife is calling but it's probably fine and CHOOSE NOW OK, you chose the thing in front of you, that's fine you'll call back later, you just have to focus on the next thing. Except then the next thing is getting changed. And then the next thing is your girlfriend who's right in front of you and looks so cute. And then the next thing is you're hungry, so you need to find somewhere to eat. Was there something else you were supposed to do? Oh, food's here. Oh, a fan wants to take a picture, that's great! Gosh, it's late, you're feeling pretty tired, time to drive home. Gotta shower, better take off your wedding ring first, don't want to lose that, you'll just set it down on the counter, you're so glad your girlfriend bought better soap, you hate hotel soap, you wonder where she got it, you sing in the shower, you dry off, you put on robe, hey what happened to your wedding ring? It's late, probably you should get to bed, are you forgetting something? You'll deal with it in the morning, whatever it was, oh look, Bobby's calling!

And that's how you go an entire day without calling your wife back or checking on your kid.

The next day you're about to go out on the runway, and everything is so fucked, and you need to talk to your wife, you NEED to, everything is going to shit, and maybe she's mad at you for not realizing, you didn't ask, you didn't call her at all yesterday, you forgot, you fucking forgot, how the fuck could you forget, how could you not remember to call her, how did she not tell you this, you have to call her, fuck how long you have left before you go on, you HAVE to call her, you HAVE to talk to her, THAT'S the most important thing right now, fuck she picked up…and it's not going well. And now you have to go. And she's making fucking excuses again, and she broke her fucking promise, and you can sit there and listen to her bullshit and you know you'll say something you regret if you do because you're so angry and these assholes are going to shout at you that you have to go on so you say "fuck it" and hand the phone off to Mystery, you'll call her back later.

And that's how you accidentally confirm to your wife that your job matters more than she does.

But that's OK; she thinks so too.

Anyway, all this makes me think about one of the worst things I think an ADHD person's partner can say to them:

"If you cared, you would have remembered."

...

Enjoy the fluff era while it lasts!

Quick disclaimer: I've added two paragraphs at the end of the post and tweaked some language to clarify that this analysis is not meant to imply that there is, or would be, anything wrong with the ZoeRumi or Polytrix relationships if they were properly negotiated with genuine consent of all parties.

Rumi Doesn’t Like When Zoey Dates Other People, Including Mira

From this post, it appears that Zoey and Rumi are polyamorous, at least in that Zoey sleeps with and/or dates other people with Rumi’s knowledge and expressed consent:

get loved gayboy : penny for your thoughts

But is that what Rumi actually wants? Every single time Mira and Zoey are together, or show affection to each other, Rumi gets upset.

When Zoey then goes to a photoshoot with Mira after their first date, the next post shows that Rumi says something to Celine about being upset about something that “wasn’t that serious,” except then Mi-yeong shows up instead. Rumi DOES think Mi-yeong’s offense is serious, so it’s not that. She’s upset about Zoey being with Mira.

get loved gayboy : thank you, rumi

Zoey has lunch with Mira after the photo shoot, here’s Rumi’s reaction. Zoey immediately can tell something’s wrong. “Baby? Are you OK?” Rumi’s response, looking sad: “Yeah, of course.”

Mira accidentally ends up going grocery shopping with Zoey and Myung-soo, basically taking Rumi’s family in a handoff when Rumi has to go do something else:

get loved gayboy : 🧋

Zoey and Mira are photographed together in what looks like a kiss at the end of the shopping trip, which Rumi didn’t even know was happening, and Rumi sees, and Rumi is so upset and distracted that she doesn’t hear Jinu talking to her, but plays it off as being about finding out her mom Mi-yeong slept with someone else before she was born (and that’s how Rumi was conceived). More on this later.

get loved gayboy : I promise

When Mira shows up at Rumi’s exhibit after kissing Zoey (unbeknownst to Rumi), Rumi immediately folds her arms and adopts a defensive posture.

get loved gayboy : chances

When Mira apologizes about the photo, Rumi stutters when she claims that she’s not upset about that (because she’s lying), and apologizes that the exhibit (that Rumi) wasn’t good enough for Mira to stay.

get loved gayboy : "...Okay."

Even after they are officially together as a throuple, Rumi still gets upset when Zoey and Mira show affection to each other.

Rumi is staring at Zoey and Mira while they cuddle with Myung-soo which prompts a “baby, you OK?” Rumi is simultaneously contacted by her sperm donor, so she has an excuse for why she's upset. But did you notice that Rumi always uses that excuse? Even when sperm donor isn’t texting her? If you go back, you’ll see that Rumi repeatedly blames her bad mood on sperm donor when Zoey or someone else asks what’s bothering her after seeing Zoey and Mira together.

get loved gayboy : returns

After Rumi wakes up after their first night together, she slips away to the kitchen. Mira wakes up, follows, and asks if she’s OK, Rumi replies she’s “just … in my head.” Again, sperm donor has just texted, giving her a plausible alternative explanation. Hey, did you notice that Rumi is covering up her tattoos completely, the tattoos of every flower Zoey ever gave her? Which could mean nothing.

get loved gayboy : [present] that would be enough

After Zoey wakes up that morning, right after kissing Mira goodbye she can tell Rumi is upset and confronts her. Rumi is “covering up” (her tattoos), she’s “being quiet,” and Rumi could very easily say it’s sperm donor (Suho is his real name), but she doesn’t, not until Zoey pushes and says “don’t lie to me.” And Zoey buys it. And offers to stay. And Rumi refuses. How could she take Zoey away from someone who makes her so happy?

get loved gayboy : talk

get loved gayboy : "I promise."

Here’s how Rumi looks after seeing Mira and Zoey kiss goodbye, after the first night together, when she goes to visit her mothers. Celine is so worried.

get loved gayboy : making up for what we're missing

I wonder what Celine thinks of Mira? After seeing how upset Rumi has been?

get loved gayboy : meeting the in laws

Rumi Is The Third Wheel In This Version Of Polytrix

Yes, even though she’s married to Zoey, Rumi is very much the “third” in this relationship, though who is to blame for that is an open question. At least some of this is Rumi's subjective feelings on the subject, but some of it is just observation of how Zoey and Mira treat each other with more importance than they do Rumi.

First of all, Zoey says that Mira is the first person who’s made her feel like Rumi has, but Rumi doesn’t say it back. In spite of Mira wanting a relationship with both of them, this is not a relationship where Rumi and Mira have a relationship equivalent to Rumi and Zoey (or Zoey and Mira, stay tuned for that).

get loved gayboy : [between firsts and aftermath] "We'll figure this…

When Mira visits for the first time, Zoey gets the first kiss.

get loved gayboy : first visit

When they soft-launch the relationship, Zoey’s caption is “all ours.” Rumi’s is basically “my son prefers Mira to me.”

get loved gayboy : 🤳🏼

While Zoey and Mira figure out their travel schedule, they cuddle up with each other and Myung-soo, while Rumi sits alone across from them.

get loved gayboy : returns

After they sleep together for the first time, Zoey and Mira are cuddled up nice and tight to the point that Rumi was able to slip out and get dressed without anyone noticing until she tucked Mira and Zoey in tighter. If those two are hugging each other so tightly, who’s hugging Rumi?

get loved gayboy : [present] mornings

Rumi has a new wallpaper already, after seeing Zoey and Mira and Myung-soo together: a beautiful family photo of the three of them. A beautiful, happy family. What’s that you say? Someone’s missing from this photo? Could have fooled me.

get loved gayboy : rumi's new wallpaper

When it’s time to wake Zoey, Rumi and Mira go to get Myung-soo to wake Zoey up...but who actually does the waking? Not Rumi.

get loved gayboy : breakfast in bed for mama

In the meantime, it’s implied that Zoey and Mira are together a ton for work; how often are either of them alone with Rumi (not counting times when Zoey and Rumi are together with Myung-soo)? For example:

get loved gayboy : "There's nowhere else I'd rather be."

Rumi appreciates what time they do have together (even though it’s suddenly only with Mira, never Rumi with either of the others), to the point that when Zoey offers to stay, Rumi refuses because Zoey and Mira “deserve” time alone together with Zoey “all dolled up in Mira’s pretty clothes.” They deserve to be happy together; wonder what Rumi thinks she deserves for herself?

get loved gayboy : tender mornings

In bed, who gets marked up in the throes of passion, I wonder? Who is worthy of desire? Do you even need to click through for the evidence? To see who’s wearing a patch, who’s wearing a turtleneck, and whose neck is bare and unmarked? (Prince you were so filthy for this one)

get loved gayboy : busy afternoon

get loved gayboy : yours, still

On Mira’s private jet, he and Zoey have sex, and Zoey joins the mile high club without Rumi. I wonder if Mira and Rumi have ever had sex alone? Doesn’t seem like it. I wonder when was the last time Rumi and Zoey had sex? (Last confirmed time is back shortly after they first met Mira). According to prince, they've been together about a month, and Zoey and Mira have spent a ton of time together and are about to spend more time together on the other side of the world from Rumi. How much of their relationship exists without Rumi already?

get loved gayboy : mile high club

Zoey hates flying (with Rumi), but Rumi can see Zoey feels safe with Mira (safer with Mira).

get loved gayboy : safe

When Zoey announces their relationship with Mira, Rumi’s an ocean away with Myung-soo, missing them terribly, texting Zoey. Has Zoey texted her yet? Mira’s sent a couple at least. Both about Zoey. Neither of them have asked Rumi how she is. Neither has offered her support, even though she’s about to meet her transphobic sperm donor for the first time. But hey, Zoey looks great in Mira’s clothes, and better with them off, and Rumi's probably fine. She's always saying so, right? "I'm fine."

get loved gayboy : articles and updates

When Jinu expresses regret that Rumi is about to receive an award alone, he doesn’t mention Mira as someone who could or should be with her. And Rumi already feels like it’s imposing on Mira and Zoey’s time together to even tell them that she’s about to win an award. Shame Mira never offered to make something for Rumi to wear to the event, or for any purpose, but why would she? It’s not like Rumi’s as worthy of Mira’s inspiration as Zoey is, right? (These rhetorical questions are Rumi's perspective, in case that wasn't clear)

get loved gayboy : decisions made

At some point in the future (maybe when Rumi meets them in Europe?) Zoey and Mira are holding hands, Zoey is smiling at Rumi, and the only person touching or looking at Rumi is Myung-soo. Who is being carried by Mira. His new "favorite."

get loved gayboy : [future] pool day

Mira Keeps Making The Problem Worse By Mistake

There are a few good examples of Mira’s good intentions here that I’m not going to link to much, but they genuinely appear to be concerned with Rumi’s emotional well-being (more even than Zoey is), and make a good effort. But he doesn’t see the dynamic yet, and so he keeps making things worse.

From the very first meeting, Mira makes it clear (in Rumi's eyes) that she’s interested in Zoey, not Rumi. “Nice to meet you both,” but Mira’s “looking forward to working with you again, Jung Zoey.” Rumi doesn't have a name yet.

get loved gayboy : crush

At the beginning and end of their first (and only) solo coffee, Mira again reinforces that her primary interest is in Zoey, and Rumi is just Zoey’s accessory: “Mrs. Zoey’s wife, Rumi.” She has a name at least. Progress?

get loved gayboy : deal?

By the end of the coffee “date,” in which it appears the conversation is mostly about Zoey and Myung-soo, Rumi has lost her name. “See ya, Mrs. Zoey’s wife.” Oh well. Nice while it lasted.

get loved gayboy : coffee date

This isn’t intentional; if anything, Mira’s probably trying to avoid being too obvious about her attraction. She literally buys a magazine to stare at pictures of Rumi, and bemoans that "she" (presumably Rumi) is married. But Rumi doesn’t know that. All she knows is Mira wants Zoey, and Zoey wants Mira, and Rumi is Zoey’s wife whom Mira wants to be on good terms with while Mira and Zoey get together.

get loved gayboy : helpless

The next time Mira is supposed to see Rumi, he bails, because they think they don’t deserve the family Zoey and Rumi have made, but Rumi doesn’t know that. She just thinks this is a clear message that Mira wants Zoey, and doesn’t give a shit about Rumi. Understandable, since Mira continues to date Zoey in the meantime, whom she seems very comfortable with deserving.

get loved gayboy : "...my wife and my son are the most important...

Mira kisses Rumi and says she’s wanted to kiss her since the moment he saw her, but let’s be real: Mira is with Zoey all the time for work and pleasure, this is the second time Mira and Rumi have really interacted. Rumi might be flattered, even overwhelmed, that someone like Mira is willing to even say they want her like this. But does she believe it? Can she believe it, when she can see how much time Mira has made for Zoey, and how little Mira has made for her? But Rumi, as always, will survive on scraps (because she doesn't deserve anything else); the throuple begins.

get loved gayboy : firsts

“I’m stealing Zoey away for two weeks” is terrible phrasing, Mira. All Rumi can ask for is help making breakfast. That’s all she thinks she deserves to ask for, after Mira and Zoey slept so beautifully and contentedly in each other’s arms, and Rumi was in the bed too for a while.

get loved gayboy : [present] that would be enough

Looping back to the trip, when Zoey and Mira are in New York, Mira is trying, but their texts all come off as “look how safe and happy Zoey is with me.” Mira’s trying, but she doesn’t know what she’s doing, because she never got to know Rumi before pursuing this. She never laid the foundation she laid with Zoey. One coffee date and a kiss does not establish an equal relationship as compared to someone you see all the time for work, have gone out with multiple times outside of work, and whom you’re about to take on your private jet solo for two weeks (or until Rumi and Myung-soo join them, if that happens).

Zoey Isn’t Attentive Enough To Rumi’s Needs

Let’s frame this first: Zoey knew Rumi before Rumi came out as trans, since they were kids. Before they got together, the things Zoey complimented Rumi on were that she was pretty (the prettiest girl Zoey knew), and that she was nice.

get loved gayboy : [past] "I wish everyone could be nice like you..."

What Zoey says is that her “wife and son are the most important thing” to her. But is that true?

Zoey says that because Mira hurt Rumi badly by promising to come to her gallery showing and ditching (because Mira was worried they didn’t deserve to intrude upon Zoey and Rumi’s family and ran). But even though Zoey is mad about Mira hurting Rumi, KNOWS that Mira hurt Rumi, her wife, what does she do? She takes Mira out on a date and makes heart eyes at them and gives Mira her number.

She kisses Mira, and is on the verge of having sex with Mira, and has gotten to that point despite Mira not apologizing, and expressly only stops because she wants Mira to apologize before they sleep together. That’s the red line for Zoey. Not “you need to woo Rumi too,” even though Mira does. Not “I won’t do this if she’s not part of it,” because Zoey would fuck Mira even if Rumi never saw Mira again. Apologize for hurting my wife and we can have sex, because you hurting her was not a red line for me in this relationship. Credit to @huntrx-dont-miss for calling this out in the tags, I was wrong and misread this panel, IT'S WORSE. Zoey is ready to have sex with Mira, while Rumi is still hurting. There's no red line here for Zoey. Zoey will do what she wants, fuck who she wants, and if that person hurt Rumi, too bad for Rumi. MIRA stops because MIRA feels like they can't until he talks to Rumi. Zoey apparently doesn't care about Rumi's feelings in this context, and is willing to pursue a relationship with someone who hurt her wife badly. So much for her wife being the most important thing to her.

get loved gayboy : [between 'go for it, zoey!' and 'chances'] choices

I referenced this scene earlier in the post, but Zoey then confesses to Rumi that she has never felt about anyone the way she feels about Mira. She corrects herself, saying “not since you,” but do you think Rumi believed that part? Or do you think she listened to the correction and heard a lie? Something to take the sting away? Has Rumi ever been enough for Zoey? Now that Zoey has found someone more attractive and at least as nice as Rumi, someone whom Zoey has feelings for like no one else, someone who makes Zoey smile like Rumi doesn’t anymore, who can satisfy Zoey in bed like Rumi never could (or else why has Zoey always wanted to sleep with other people?), where does that leave Rumi? (To be clear, I believe these are Rumi's insecurities, not a reflection of Zoey's actual thoughts and motives)

This one is just a set up, but Rumi, who wants nothing more than to be Zoey’s, who took Zoey’s name, who makes art of Zoey, who irrevocably marked her body with every flower Zoey ever bought her, is promising to call and text. Will Zoey answer, though? Zoey, who wears Mira’s clothes, and Mira’s bite marks, and nothing indelible of Rumi?

get loved gayboy : promises

They haven’t really talked about a hard launch, but Zoey does it anyway, alone, without Rumi there, without consulting Rumi (Rumi's communication is bad, but Zoey's isn't great either). Rumi couldn’t make it. Rumi had something else that she never told Zoey about because she felt so excluded from her marriage that Rumi didn’t think Zoey would want to celebrate Rumi. Rumi thought Zoey would be happier with Mira. Think she was right?

get loved gayboy : a quick interview

Stack this on top of ALL THE TIMES above that Rumi has been visibly upset immediately after Zoey showed affection towards Mira, that Zoey has never clocked. I wonder who suggested polyamory first? Was it Zoey, because she wanted to sleep with other people? Or was it Rumi, who saw how Zoey looked at someone else and decided she would never be enough, and she would rather keep Zoey by letting Zoey find what Rumi couldn’t give her with others? Again, these are framed from Rumi's perspective; I do not think Zoey's thought process was anything like this when they decided they would be non-monogamous.

I'll add a small caveat: it's not that Zoey doesn't care about Rumi at all. Zoey REPEATEDLY notices that Rumi is upset and asks her about it and pushes for an answer, but never gets a true, or complete at least, answer as to why. Zoey doesn't put together how every time Rumi is upset immediately follows Zoey and Mira together. And how could she? Because if Rumi is hurt by Zoey being with other people, that would mean Zoey's been hurting Rumi, and Rumi's been lying to Zoey, for however long they've been polyamorous.

Rumi’s Anger at Mi-yeong Is Actually Her Anger At Zoey

OK, this is a big one: I don’t think Rumi’s anger at Mi-yeong is primarily about Mi-yeong sleeping with someone else and hurting Celine. This was years ago, before Rumi was born, when Celine and Mi-yeong weren't together and Celine and Mi-yeong have moved past it, so why is Rumi so bothered by the fact that Mi-yeong slept with someone else while she and Celine still had feelings for each other even though it wasn’t actually cheating?

Huh. Does that sound like a situation Rumi is familiar with?

For her whole marriage (I’m guessing, I don’t think we have a timeframe on the polyamory), I think Zoey has been sleeping with other people. Zoey’s pursuit of Mira as a “no big deal” moment doesn’t make sense unless this is a pattern, something that she and Rumi have agreed to. It doesn’t appear Zoey was romantically involved with any of her past partners, and says outright she never felt about any of them the way she feels about Rumi or Mira, but that means that, while they were in love, Zoey has slept with other people, while she and Rumi were in love, and Rumi said yes so it’s not cheating, even if Rumi doesn’t like it (and has failed to communicate that fact).

If this is something Rumi has been hurt by the entire time they’ve been together, is it any wonder she reacts so harshly when she finds out her mom "did" this to Celine? That she doesn’t care that it meant nothing to Mi-yeong, because that’s what Zoey says about the people she sleeps with I’m sure, but it still means something to Rumi. Suho was a “mistake;” is Rumi Zoey’s mistake? Rumi can't get mad at Zoey, Zoey might leave her, but Rumi can get mad at her mom without consequence. Note how Rumi closes herself off with her folded arms when she’s upset (just like she does so often with Mira and Zoey in the present).

get loved gayboy : [past] storm part 2

Rumi doesn’t want to know about the other guy (does she want to know about Zoey's other partners?):

get loved gayboy : forgiveness

Rumi doesn’t forgive Mi-yeong until Mi-yeong expresses regret for hurting Celine and says she spends every day making sure she’ll never see that look on her face again. I wonder how much Rumi wishes Zoey would do that? Would realize how much she’s hurt Rumi, and commit to never doing it again?

get loved gayboy : "We'll be there."

Bringing this back from Jinu: “Aunt Celine is a better woman than me! We were ‘on a break,’ please—” This comment, about being unwilling to forgive a sexual relationship with someone else that was not cheating but nonetheless feels like a betrayal of an active emotional bond, is juxtaposed with Rumi finding out that Zoey and Mira were maybe kissing in public and spending time together that Rumi didn’t know about.

get loved gayboy : I promise

On top of that, we’ve already seen how often, almost universally, Rumi claims that her being upset at Mira and Zoey’s closeness is actually about her mom and Suho. How much of that deflection is conscious? How much is Rumi subconsciously taking Celine’s place in her mind, with Zoey taking the role of the Mi-yeong who didn’t appreciate Celine enough or show her enough love, who slept with someone else who meant nothing to her?

Only now Zoey is sleeping with someone who does mean something to her. Whom she feels at least as strongly for, in just a few months, as she has ever felt about Rumi. Does Rumi even have a place with them anymore?

The Future

Where to we go from here? I can only give my speculation, but I think this throuple is deeply broken due to lack of communication, and we are far from the end of this story. Rumi can’t even say out loud how she feels. The public is probably about to make a big deal about how Zoey and Mira chose to travel together instead of attending Rumi’s award show (which is “tomorrow” at the status of the FKAU at the time of this post). I expect Zoey and Mira to be upset by this, and at least Zoey to be upset Rumi didn’t tell her about it. But will either of them realize why yet? Will either of them see how little Rumi thinks she matters to them?

Regardless of how that plays out, I see one of two things happening short term. Either there’s a big fight and someone leaves (I’m guessing Zoey leaves Mira based upon prince’s use of the song “Maroon”’s lyrics as captions for recent posts), or they stay together and Rumi and Myung-soo make the trip to Europe. If the latter, I think things just are going to continue to get worse; look for more instances of Rumi isolating intentionally, or unintentionally being isolated or ignored by Mira and especially Zoey. I don’t think Zoey will text or call almost at all while she and Mira are away. I think, if they're together, Zoey will be all over Mira, and Mira and Zoey will sometimes check in with Rumi, and Rumi will say she's fine.

I do expect an explosion at some point, though. Eventually, Rumi is going to conclude that the background on her phone is the best version of this family unit, and will either break down or leave. Once that happens, and Zoey realizes that she’s about to lose Rumi, I would expect either Mira to step back, or Zoey to leave Mira to try to fix things with Rumi. Especially if it’s the latter, I think that will probably lead to Rumi having to reach out to bring Mira back. So far, everything about this relationship has been Zoey and Mira pursuing things and Rumi going along with it in spite of how much it hurts her. For this to work, Rumi has to want it too, and for Mira to be willing to come back, Rumi has to show she wants Mira too. But first, more angst, then hopefully healing.

Addendum:

I wanted to add a clarification: there’s nothing wrong with a polyamorous relationship shaped like this in general. The reason it took so long for me to recognize that there was anything wrong here was, in fact, because this initially seemed to be a healthy, consensual relationship that was open along lines that were understood and agreed to by all parties. The problem is not the fact of a polyamorous relationship where one partner has other partners and another does not. There is a problem, however, if only one partner wants to be in that kind of relationship, and the other is pretending to for other reasons related to a communication breakdown in the relationship.

The points below are directly tied to the language of the original post and some of the harmful stereotypes it portrays, so I would suggest reading through OPs post first if you haven't already.

1. Polyamorous relationships don't always have "equivalent" relationships within them - they can't based solely on the fact that different people want and need different things from a relationship. It's not about relationships being "equivalent" or "balanced", it's about everyone's needs/wants being met.

This is not a relationship where Rumi and Mira have a relationship equivalent to Rumi and Zoey (or Zoey and Mira, stay tuned for that).

That’s the red line for Zoey. Not “you need to woo Rumi too,” even though Mira does. Not “I won’t do this if she’s not part of it,” because Zoey would fuck Mira even if Rumi never saw Mira again.

2. Going along with the point above, polyamorous relationships develop in different ways at different speeds due to various circumstances and that's okay! Expecting feelings and closeness to develop equally and at the same rate between all partners is not realistic. Not only that but not all triads are a 2+1 as is most common in this fandom, and it's important to explore all other configurations.

3. Being polyamorous doesn't mean you are seeking something that is lacking from your current relationship or that your current partner meeting your satisfaction in some aspect of your relationship, and it is incredibly harmful to even suggest as much. (Even from the amended post that says that this is form Rumi's perceived POV it is a very dangerous thing to even suggest from a couple that has shown both parties explicitly consenting to polyamory)

someone who makes Zoey smile like Rumi doesn’t anymore, who can satisfy Zoey in bed like Rumi never could (or else why has Zoey always wanted to sleep with other people?), where does that leave Rumi?

Or was it Rumi, who saw how Zoey looked at someone else and decided she would never be enough, and she would rather keep Zoey by letting Zoey find what Rumi couldn’t give her with others?

4. Polyamory is not just about sex or sleeping with other people. It's about relationships, and reducing it to simply "sleeping with other people" is extremely reductive. I also do want to note that saying that "For her [Zoey], polyamory is 'I sleep with other people and come home to Rumi,' [...] This feels like her usual experience of polyamory but better, because she caught feelings" (from one of OPs comments) is also extremely harmful on top of being reductive.

From this post, it appears that Zoey and Rumi are polyamorous, at least in that Zoey sleeps with and/or dates other people with Rumi’s knowledge and apparent consent

I wonder who suggested polyamory first? Was it Zoey, because she wanted to sleep with other people?

For her whole marriage (I’m guessing, I don’t think we have a timeframe on the polyamory), I think Zoey has been sleeping with other people. [...] It doesn’t appear Zoey was romantically involved with any of her past partners,

Only now Zoey is sleeping with someone who does mean something to her.

5. Equating polyamory to cheating in any way is extremely harmful.

so why is Rumi so bothered by the fact that Mi-yeong slept with someone else while she and Celine still had feelings for each other even though it wasn’t actually cheating?Huh. Does that sound like a situation Rumi is familiar with?

“Aunt Celine is a better woman than me! We were ‘on a break,’ please—” This comment, about being unwilling to forgive a sexual relationship with someone else that is not technically cheating but nonetheless feels like a betrayal of an active emotional bond, is juxtaposed with Rumi finding out that Zoey and Mira were maybe kissing in public and spending time together that Rumi didn’t know about.

It doesn’t appear Zoey was romantically involved with any of her past partners, and says outright she never felt about any of them the way she feels about Rumi or Mira, but that means that, while they were in love, Zoey has slept with other people, while she and Rumi were in love, and Rumi said yes so it’s not cheating, even if Rumi doesn’t like it (and has failed to communicate that fact).*Note - this is from the amended post, but the wording is fairly similar to the original and has the same impact

6. Polyamory is built on trust and communication, just like every other relationship. Assuming that it's not, and that boundaries and behaviours were not negotiated by those opening their relationship can be quite harmful, especially when we still exist in a society that equates polyamory to "cheating with permission".

Zoey doesn't put together how every time Rumi is upset immediately follows Zoey and Mira together. And how could she? Because if Rumi is hurt by Zoey being with other people, that would mean Zoey's been hurting Rumi, and Rumi's been lying to Zoey, for however long they've been polyamorous.

Stack this on top of ALL THE TIMES above that Rumi has been visibly upset immediately after Zoey showed affection towards Mira, that Zoey has never clocked. I wonder who suggested polyamory first? Was it Zoey, because she wanted to sleep with other people? Or was it Rumi, who saw how Zoey looked at someone else and decided she would never be enough, and she would rather keep Zoey by letting Zoey find what Rumi couldn’t give her with others?

Rumi can't get mad at Zoey, Zoey might leave her, but Rumi can get mad at her mom without consequence.

I would like to highlight something again, specifically in regards to this AU.

It's okay for relationships within a polycule or triad to develop at different rates!! Just because Rumi and Mira aren't as close as Zoey and Mira (who also work together, and thus spend more time together), doesn't mean that relationship between the two of them is any less valid, it's simply growing at a different rate. And that's okay!

Quick disclaimer: I've added two paragraphs at the end of the post and tweaked some language to clarify that this analysis is not meant to imply that there is, or would be, anything wrong with the ZoeRumi or Polytrix relationships if they were properly negotiated with genuine consent of all parties.

Rumi Doesn’t Like When Zoey Dates Other People, Including Mira

From this post, it appears that Zoey and Rumi are polyamorous, at least in that Zoey sleeps with and/or dates other people with Rumi’s knowledge and expressed consent:

get loved gayboy : penny for your thoughts

But is that what Rumi actually wants? Every single time Mira and Zoey are together, or show affection to each other, Rumi gets upset.

When Zoey then goes to a photoshoot with Mira after their first date, the next post shows that Rumi says something to Celine about being upset about something that “wasn’t that serious,” except then Mi-yeong shows up instead. Rumi DOES think Mi-yeong’s offense is serious, so it’s not that. She’s upset about Zoey being with Mira.

get loved gayboy : thank you, rumi

Zoey has lunch with Mira after the photo shoot, here’s Rumi’s reaction. Zoey immediately can tell something’s wrong. “Baby? Are you OK?” Rumi’s response, looking sad: “Yeah, of course.”

Mira accidentally ends up going grocery shopping with Zoey and Myung-soo, basically taking Rumi’s family in a handoff when Rumi has to go do something else:

get loved gayboy : 🧋

Zoey and Mira are photographed together in what looks like a kiss at the end of the shopping trip, which Rumi didn’t even know was happening, and Rumi sees, and Rumi is so upset and distracted that she doesn’t hear Jinu talking to her, but plays it off as being about finding out her mom Mi-yeong slept with someone else before she was born (and that’s how Rumi was conceived). More on this later.

get loved gayboy : I promise

When Mira shows up at Rumi’s exhibit after kissing Zoey (unbeknownst to Rumi), Rumi immediately folds her arms and adopts a defensive posture.

get loved gayboy : chances

When Mira apologizes about the photo, Rumi stutters when she claims that she’s not upset about that (because she’s lying), and apologizes that the exhibit (that Rumi) wasn’t good enough for Mira to stay.

get loved gayboy : "...Okay."

Even after they are officially together as a throuple, Rumi still gets upset when Zoey and Mira show affection to each other.

Rumi is staring at Zoey and Mira while they cuddle with Myung-soo which prompts a “baby, you OK?” Rumi is simultaneously contacted by her sperm donor, so she has an excuse for why she's upset. But did you notice that Rumi always uses that excuse? Even when sperm donor isn’t texting her? If you go back, you’ll see that Rumi repeatedly blames her bad mood on sperm donor when Zoey or someone else asks what’s bothering her after seeing Zoey and Mira together.

get loved gayboy : returns

After Rumi wakes up after their first night together, she slips away to the kitchen. Mira wakes up, follows, and asks if she’s OK, Rumi replies she’s “just … in my head.” Again, sperm donor has just texted, giving her a plausible alternative explanation. Hey, did you notice that Rumi is covering up her tattoos completely, the tattoos of every flower Zoey ever gave her? Which could mean nothing.

get loved gayboy : [present] that would be enough

After Zoey wakes up that morning, right after kissing Mira goodbye she can tell Rumi is upset and confronts her. Rumi is “covering up” (her tattoos), she’s “being quiet,” and Rumi could very easily say it’s sperm donor (Suho is his real name), but she doesn’t, not until Zoey pushes and says “don’t lie to me.” And Zoey buys it. And offers to stay. And Rumi refuses. How could she take Zoey away from someone who makes her so happy?

get loved gayboy : talk

get loved gayboy : "I promise."

Here’s how Rumi looks after seeing Mira and Zoey kiss goodbye, after the first night together, when she goes to visit her mothers. Celine is so worried.

get loved gayboy : making up for what we're missing

I wonder what Celine thinks of Mira? After seeing how upset Rumi has been?

get loved gayboy : meeting the in laws

Rumi Is The Third Wheel In This Version Of Polytrix

Yes, even though she’s married to Zoey, Rumi is very much the “third” in this relationship, though who is to blame for that is an open question. At least some of this is Rumi's subjective feelings on the subject, but some of it is just observation of how Zoey and Mira treat each other with more importance than they do Rumi.

First of all, Zoey says that Mira is the first person who’s made her feel like Rumi has, but Rumi doesn’t say it back. In spite of Mira wanting a relationship with both of them, this is not a relationship where Rumi and Mira have a relationship equivalent to Rumi and Zoey (or Zoey and Mira, stay tuned for that).

get loved gayboy : [between firsts and aftermath] "We'll figure this…

When Mira visits for the first time, Zoey gets the first kiss.

get loved gayboy : first visit

When they soft-launch the relationship, Zoey’s caption is “all ours.” Rumi’s is basically “my son prefers Mira to me.”

get loved gayboy : 🤳🏼

While Zoey and Mira figure out their travel schedule, they cuddle up with each other and Myung-soo, while Rumi sits alone across from them.

get loved gayboy : returns

After they sleep together for the first time, Zoey and Mira are cuddled up nice and tight to the point that Rumi was able to slip out and get dressed without anyone noticing until she tucked Mira and Zoey in tighter. If those two are hugging each other so tightly, who’s hugging Rumi?

get loved gayboy : [present] mornings

Rumi has a new wallpaper already, after seeing Zoey and Mira and Myung-soo together: a beautiful family photo of the three of them. A beautiful, happy family. What’s that you say? Someone’s missing from this photo? Could have fooled me.

get loved gayboy : rumi's new wallpaper

When it’s time to wake Zoey, Rumi and Mira go to get Myung-soo to wake Zoey up...but who actually does the waking? Not Rumi.

get loved gayboy : breakfast in bed for mama

In the meantime, it’s implied that Zoey and Mira are together a ton for work; how often are either of them alone with Rumi (not counting times when Zoey and Rumi are together with Myung-soo)? For example:

get loved gayboy : "There's nowhere else I'd rather be."

Rumi appreciates what time they do have together (even though it’s suddenly only with Mira, never Rumi with either of the others), to the point that when Zoey offers to stay, Rumi refuses because Zoey and Mira “deserve” time alone together with Zoey “all dolled up in Mira’s pretty clothes.” They deserve to be happy together; wonder what Rumi thinks she deserves for herself?

get loved gayboy : tender mornings

In bed, who gets marked up in the throes of passion, I wonder? Who is worthy of desire? Do you even need to click through for the evidence? To see who’s wearing a patch, who’s wearing a turtleneck, and whose neck is bare and unmarked? (Prince you were so filthy for this one)

get loved gayboy : busy afternoon

get loved gayboy : yours, still

On Mira’s private jet, he and Zoey have sex, and Zoey joins the mile high club without Rumi. I wonder if Mira and Rumi have ever had sex alone? Doesn’t seem like it. I wonder when was the last time Rumi and Zoey had sex? (Last confirmed time is back shortly after they first met Mira). According to prince, they've been together about a month, and Zoey and Mira have spent a ton of time together and are about to spend more time together on the other side of the world from Rumi. How much of their relationship exists without Rumi already?

get loved gayboy : mile high club

Zoey hates flying (with Rumi), but Rumi can see Zoey feels safe with Mira (safer with Mira).

get loved gayboy : safe

When Zoey announces their relationship with Mira, Rumi’s an ocean away with Myung-soo, missing them terribly, texting Zoey. Has Zoey texted her yet? Mira’s sent a couple at least. Both about Zoey. Neither of them have asked Rumi how she is. Neither has offered her support, even though she’s about to meet her transphobic sperm donor for the first time. But hey, Zoey looks great in Mira’s clothes, and better with them off, and Rumi's probably fine. She's always saying so, right? "I'm fine."

get loved gayboy : articles and updates

When Jinu expresses regret that Rumi is about to receive an award alone, he doesn’t mention Mira as someone who could or should be with her. And Rumi already feels like it’s imposing on Mira and Zoey’s time together to even tell them that she’s about to win an award. Shame Mira never offered to make something for Rumi to wear to the event, or for any purpose, but why would she? It’s not like Rumi’s as worthy of Mira’s inspiration as Zoey is, right? (These rhetorical questions are Rumi's perspective, in case that wasn't clear)

get loved gayboy : decisions made

At some point in the future (maybe when Rumi meets them in Europe?) Zoey and Mira are holding hands, Zoey is smiling at Rumi, and the only person touching or looking at Rumi is Myung-soo. Who is being carried by Mira. His new "favorite."

get loved gayboy : [future] pool day

Mira Keeps Making The Problem Worse By Mistake

There are a few good examples of Mira’s good intentions here that I’m not going to link to much, but they genuinely appear to be concerned with Rumi’s emotional well-being (more even than Zoey is), and make a good effort. But he doesn’t see the dynamic yet, and so he keeps making things worse.

From the very first meeting, Mira makes it clear (in Rumi's eyes) that she’s interested in Zoey, not Rumi. “Nice to meet you both,” but Mira’s “looking forward to working with you again, Jung Zoey.” Rumi doesn't have a name yet.

get loved gayboy : crush

At the beginning and end of their first (and only) solo coffee, Mira again reinforces that her primary interest is in Zoey, and Rumi is just Zoey’s accessory: “Mrs. Zoey’s wife, Rumi.” She has a name at least. Progress?

get loved gayboy : deal?

By the end of the coffee “date,” in which it appears the conversation is mostly about Zoey and Myung-soo, Rumi has lost her name. “See ya, Mrs. Zoey’s wife.” Oh well. Nice while it lasted.

get loved gayboy : coffee date

This isn’t intentional; if anything, Mira’s probably trying to avoid being too obvious about her attraction. She literally buys a magazine to stare at pictures of Rumi, and bemoans that "she" (presumably Rumi) is married. But Rumi doesn’t know that. All she knows is Mira wants Zoey, and Zoey wants Mira, and Rumi is Zoey’s wife whom Mira wants to be on good terms with while Mira and Zoey get together.

get loved gayboy : helpless

The next time Mira is supposed to see Rumi, he bails, because they think they don’t deserve the family Zoey and Rumi have made, but Rumi doesn’t know that. She just thinks this is a clear message that Mira wants Zoey, and doesn’t give a shit about Rumi. Understandable, since Mira continues to date Zoey in the meantime, whom she seems very comfortable with deserving.

get loved gayboy : "...my wife and my son are the most important...

Mira kisses Rumi and says she’s wanted to kiss her since the moment he saw her, but let’s be real: Mira is with Zoey all the time for work and pleasure, this is the second time Mira and Rumi have really interacted. Rumi might be flattered, even overwhelmed, that someone like Mira is willing to even say they want her like this. But does she believe it? Can she believe it, when she can see how much time Mira has made for Zoey, and how little Mira has made for her? But Rumi, as always, will survive on scraps (because she doesn't deserve anything else); the throuple begins.

get loved gayboy : firsts

“I’m stealing Zoey away for two weeks” is terrible phrasing, Mira. All Rumi can ask for is help making breakfast. That’s all she thinks she deserves to ask for, after Mira and Zoey slept so beautifully and contentedly in each other’s arms, and Rumi was in the bed too for a while.

get loved gayboy : [present] that would be enough

Looping back to the trip, when Zoey and Mira are in New York, Mira is trying, but their texts all come off as “look how safe and happy Zoey is with me.” Mira’s trying, but she doesn’t know what she’s doing, because she never got to know Rumi before pursuing this. She never laid the foundation she laid with Zoey. One coffee date and a kiss does not establish an equal relationship as compared to someone you see all the time for work, have gone out with multiple times outside of work, and whom you’re about to take on your private jet solo for two weeks (or until Rumi and Myung-soo join them, if that happens).

Zoey Isn’t Attentive Enough To Rumi’s Needs

Let’s frame this first: Zoey knew Rumi before Rumi came out as trans, since they were kids. Before they got together, the things Zoey complimented Rumi on were that she was pretty (the prettiest girl Zoey knew), and that she was nice.

get loved gayboy : [past] "I wish everyone could be nice like you..."

What Zoey says is that her “wife and son are the most important thing” to her. But is that true?

Zoey says that because Mira hurt Rumi badly by promising to come to her gallery showing and ditching (because Mira was worried they didn’t deserve to intrude upon Zoey and Rumi’s family and ran). But even though Zoey is mad about Mira hurting Rumi, KNOWS that Mira hurt Rumi, her wife, what does she do? She takes Mira out on a date and makes heart eyes at them and gives Mira her number.

She kisses Mira, and is on the verge of having sex with Mira, and has gotten to that point despite Mira not apologizing, and expressly only stops because she wants Mira to apologize before they sleep together. That’s the red line for Zoey. Not “you need to woo Rumi too,” even though Mira does. Not “I won’t do this if she’s not part of it,” because Zoey would fuck Mira even if Rumi never saw Mira again. Apologize for hurting my wife and we can have sex, because you hurting her was not a red line for me in this relationship. Credit to @huntrx-dont-miss for calling this out in the tags, I was wrong and misread this panel, IT'S WORSE. Zoey is ready to have sex with Mira, while Rumi is still hurting. There's no red line here for Zoey. Zoey will do what she wants, fuck who she wants, and if that person hurt Rumi, too bad for Rumi. MIRA stops because MIRA feels like they can't until he talks to Rumi. Zoey apparently doesn't care about Rumi's feelings in this context, and is willing to pursue a relationship with someone who hurt her wife badly. So much for her wife being the most important thing to her.

get loved gayboy : [between 'go for it, zoey!' and 'chances'] choices

I referenced this scene earlier in the post, but Zoey then confesses to Rumi that she has never felt about anyone the way she feels about Mira. She corrects herself, saying “not since you,” but do you think Rumi believed that part? Or do you think she listened to the correction and heard a lie? Something to take the sting away? Has Rumi ever been enough for Zoey? Now that Zoey has found someone more attractive and at least as nice as Rumi, someone whom Zoey has feelings for like no one else, someone who makes Zoey smile like Rumi doesn’t anymore, who can satisfy Zoey in bed like Rumi never could (or else why has Zoey always wanted to sleep with other people?), where does that leave Rumi? (To be clear, I believe these are Rumi's insecurities, not a reflection of Zoey's actual thoughts and motives)

This one is just a set up, but Rumi, who wants nothing more than to be Zoey’s, who took Zoey’s name, who makes art of Zoey, who irrevocably marked her body with every flower Zoey ever bought her, is promising to call and text. Will Zoey answer, though? Zoey, who wears Mira’s clothes, and Mira’s bite marks, and nothing indelible of Rumi?

get loved gayboy : promises

They haven’t really talked about a hard launch, but Zoey does it anyway, alone, without Rumi there, without consulting Rumi (Rumi's communication is bad, but Zoey's isn't great either). Rumi couldn’t make it. Rumi had something else that she never told Zoey about because she felt so excluded from her marriage that Rumi didn’t think Zoey would want to celebrate Rumi. Rumi thought Zoey would be happier with Mira. Think she was right?

get loved gayboy : a quick interview

Stack this on top of ALL THE TIMES above that Rumi has been visibly upset immediately after Zoey showed affection towards Mira, that Zoey has never clocked. I wonder who suggested polyamory first? Was it Zoey, because she wanted to sleep with other people? Or was it Rumi, who saw how Zoey looked at someone else and decided she would never be enough, and she would rather keep Zoey by letting Zoey find what Rumi couldn’t give her with others? Again, these are framed from Rumi's perspective; I do not think Zoey's thought process was anything like this when they decided they would be non-monogamous.

I'll add a small caveat: it's not that Zoey doesn't care about Rumi at all. Zoey REPEATEDLY notices that Rumi is upset and asks her about it and pushes for an answer, but never gets a true, or complete at least, answer as to why. Zoey doesn't put together how every time Rumi is upset immediately follows Zoey and Mira together. And how could she? Because if Rumi is hurt by Zoey being with other people, that would mean Zoey's been hurting Rumi, and Rumi's been lying to Zoey, for however long they've been polyamorous.

Rumi’s Anger at Mi-yeong Is Actually Her Anger At Zoey

OK, this is a big one: I don’t think Rumi’s anger at Mi-yeong is primarily about Mi-yeong sleeping with someone else and hurting Celine. This was years ago, before Rumi was born, when Celine and Mi-yeong weren't together and Celine and Mi-yeong have moved past it, so why is Rumi so bothered by the fact that Mi-yeong slept with someone else while she and Celine still had feelings for each other even though it wasn’t actually cheating?

Huh. Does that sound like a situation Rumi is familiar with?

For her whole marriage (I’m guessing, I don’t think we have a timeframe on the polyamory), I think Zoey has been sleeping with other people. Zoey’s pursuit of Mira as a “no big deal” moment doesn’t make sense unless this is a pattern, something that she and Rumi have agreed to. It doesn’t appear Zoey was romantically involved with any of her past partners, and says outright she never felt about any of them the way she feels about Rumi or Mira, but that means that, while they were in love, Zoey has slept with other people, while she and Rumi were in love, and Rumi said yes so it’s not cheating, even if Rumi doesn’t like it (and has failed to communicate that fact).

If this is something Rumi has been hurt by the entire time they’ve been together, is it any wonder she reacts so harshly when she finds out her mom "did" this to Celine? That she doesn’t care that it meant nothing to Mi-yeong, because that’s what Zoey says about the people she sleeps with I’m sure, but it still means something to Rumi. Suho was a “mistake;” is Rumi Zoey’s mistake? Rumi can't get mad at Zoey, Zoey might leave her, but Rumi can get mad at her mom without consequence. Note how Rumi closes herself off with her folded arms when she’s upset (just like she does so often with Mira and Zoey in the present).

get loved gayboy : [past] storm part 2

Rumi doesn’t want to know about the other guy (does she want to know about Zoey's other partners?):

get loved gayboy : forgiveness

Rumi doesn’t forgive Mi-yeong until Mi-yeong expresses regret for hurting Celine and says she spends every day making sure she’ll never see that look on her face again. I wonder how much Rumi wishes Zoey would do that? Would realize how much she’s hurt Rumi, and commit to never doing it again?

get loved gayboy : "We'll be there."

Bringing this back from Jinu: “Aunt Celine is a better woman than me! We were ‘on a break,’ please—” This comment, about being unwilling to forgive a sexual relationship with someone else that was not cheating but nonetheless feels like a betrayal of an active emotional bond, is juxtaposed with Rumi finding out that Zoey and Mira were maybe kissing in public and spending time together that Rumi didn’t know about.

get loved gayboy : I promise

On top of that, we’ve already seen how often, almost universally, Rumi claims that her being upset at Mira and Zoey’s closeness is actually about her mom and Suho. How much of that deflection is conscious? How much is Rumi subconsciously taking Celine’s place in her mind, with Zoey taking the role of the Mi-yeong who didn’t appreciate Celine enough or show her enough love, who slept with someone else who meant nothing to her?

Only now Zoey is sleeping with someone who does mean something to her. Whom she feels at least as strongly for, in just a few months, as she has ever felt about Rumi. Does Rumi even have a place with them anymore?

The Future

Where to we go from here? I can only give my speculation, but I think this throuple is deeply broken due to lack of communication, and we are far from the end of this story. Rumi can’t even say out loud how she feels. The public is probably about to make a big deal about how Zoey and Mira chose to travel together instead of attending Rumi’s award show (which is “tomorrow” at the status of the FKAU at the time of this post). I expect Zoey and Mira to be upset by this, and at least Zoey to be upset Rumi didn’t tell her about it. But will either of them realize why yet? Will either of them see how little Rumi thinks she matters to them?

Regardless of how that plays out, I see one of two things happening short term. Either there’s a big fight and someone leaves (I’m guessing Zoey leaves Mira based upon prince’s use of the song “Maroon”’s lyrics as captions for recent posts), or they stay together and Rumi and Myung-soo make the trip to Europe. If the latter, I think things just are going to continue to get worse; look for more instances of Rumi isolating intentionally, or unintentionally being isolated or ignored by Mira and especially Zoey. I don’t think Zoey will text or call almost at all while she and Mira are away. I think, if they're together, Zoey will be all over Mira, and Mira and Zoey will sometimes check in with Rumi, and Rumi will say she's fine.

I do expect an explosion at some point, though. Eventually, Rumi is going to conclude that the background on her phone is the best version of this family unit, and will either break down or leave. Once that happens, and Zoey realizes that she’s about to lose Rumi, I would expect either Mira to step back, or Zoey to leave Mira to try to fix things with Rumi. Especially if it’s the latter, I think that will probably lead to Rumi having to reach out to bring Mira back. So far, everything about this relationship has been Zoey and Mira pursuing things and Rumi going along with it in spite of how much it hurts her. For this to work, Rumi has to want it too, and for Mira to be willing to come back, Rumi has to show she wants Mira too. But first, more angst, then hopefully healing.

Addendum:

I wanted to add a clarification: there’s nothing wrong with a polyamorous relationship shaped like this in general. The reason it took so long for me to recognize that there was anything wrong here was, in fact, because this initially seemed to be a healthy, consensual relationship that was open along lines that were understood and agreed to by all parties. The problem is not the fact of a polyamorous relationship where one partner has other partners and another does not. There is a problem, however, if only one partner wants to be in that kind of relationship, and the other is pretending to for other reasons related to a communication breakdown in the relationship.