No Rest for the Wicked

Why do you reveal my naughty past… although it’s a good art…but…but…but…

"it would be so good if it was good" will haunt you but "it's extremely good, except for the one or two parts which are so bad it's genuinely kind of insulting" will straight up drive you insane

what people dont get about divorces is the Whole Thing About Dogs

i have written custody plans for labrador retrievers more complex than i have for children. i went to four years of undergrad, three years of law school, and sat for the bar exam to write up custody exchange provisions for dogs with hyphonated last names

my clients are paying $295 an hour for me to go to court and litigate who makes veterinary decisions for Chuckles the Goldfish and theres literally nothing i can do to stop them

I love tumblr because somehow I can end up being mutuals with a celebrity (someone that wrote a fic that I loved)

It’s fun to use contractions inappropriately, but it’s hard to explain why that’s

thats a common interest we've

Yeah, but people get annoyed by it, like when you throw soda cans in the trash can’t the recycle bin

This stupid exchange between friends has become a cultural icon.

So what makes a butcher knife more butch than other knives?

The knife itself isn't necessarily butch. It's named that because it's wielded by a butcher, who is more butch than the other food shop owners

the knife

cannot fucking believe how many notes this has and continues to get

She arrives at the house in spring, seeking vengeance. She carries a talisman, and a key to a fortune.

There somehow just keeps being More Dress