So this made me write fanfic again.
Post death scene I suppose
He hadn't been expecting to, and was somewhat disappointed. He had done his last horrible thing, and received his reward, and was, as much as he believed in any afterlife, expecting oblivion.
Or, if there was an afterlife, he would have expected his to be filled with fire and brimstone.
Instead he was stood on a white plain, with a large gold gate, to the side of which a figure stood, with a key on a chain around his neck. Closer to him stood a man in a white robe, with long hair, and sad eyes, who was looking at a gash in the floor, through which the scent of sulfer drifted up.
There was little else to look at in that space, and Legundo realised where he was - and what pit that crack would lead to. He knew it was where he deserved to be, but even the knowing was not enough to force him forward.
He was aware enough that he had been almost actively suicidal in his last days, but he was not strong enough to walk to that fate - he was sure he would be dragged soon enough, so he might as well stand in this piece of peace a moment longer.
There was no time in that space, just quiet, the doorman never moved, and the closer figure seemed to be waiting also. There was no source of light that Legundo could see, except that it seems to be brightest beyond the gate, and the shadow spread out behind him, dark as night, as if -should he step back, he would fall through into the abyss below.
He wondered what the doorman would do if he just walked forward - he knew he didn't deserve the eternal peace beyond that golden gate, but he wanted it. Eternal peace - was far more than an old soldier deserved.
Eventually, or immediately (time was hard to tell, in that place), the closer figure spoke, with a somewhat baffled air.
"Hello Legundo, why haven't you stepped forward to your reward?"
Reward? The only everlasting fate he could possibly have earned was the one behind him. Perhaps this angel (for surely that was whom this was) had him mistaken for someone else.
" I don't deserve... I think you may have me mistaken for someone else."
"Some other Legundo? Some other soldier horrified by war and his own actions so he turned away to be a doctor instead to try and make up for it?
To bring others peace instead of pain?"
"Someone who deserves heaven".
"Only one has ever deserved heaven." A voice came from the doorkeeper. "For all others it is a gift freely given".
Legundo turned back to the doorkeeper his heart (though it had stopped beating some time ago) seemed to be pulsating in his throat.
"Why would you ever let me in, after what I've done! There are people in there that I killed! Surely it's unfair to them - to have to share eternity with me."
"Heaven is a lot bigger than you seem to think Legundo, and everyone in it is aware they are there because of mercy. They will not hold anything against you."
" Mercy doesn't listen to should. Else heaven would be very empty indeed."
The gates opened again, and a new figure came through - a young man with goggles above his eyes, and a white robe that seemed to flicker to a pink overcoat, he rushed forward, and his voice reminded Legundo of one of his worst days. A young soldier, barely older that a boy, lying in the medical tent, weeping with pain, but trying to be brave and ignore the tears that came regardless of his bravado. A wound that he had neither the equipment or expertise to heal, a painful death.
But the old question 'am I gonna be ok' that had been haunting Legundo for decades was replaced with a much more cheerful tone.
"What's the hold up Doc? Get in here! We've been waiting for you to show up for ages!"
Legundo found himself unable to speak, and only his long history of working through pain and suprise stopped him stepping back into his own shadow and falling through to the pits below. The approaching man was slightly loosing his smile, as he slowed and stopped next to the first.
" What's wrong doc? I don't blame you, you tried your best, and it's over now, everyone whose here is waiting for you.
I forgive you, if that's what you were waiting for, but I don't think theres anything to forgive!"
He paused in his speech, and glanced up to behind Legundo, " what's that number mean?"
For the first time in that white plain Legundo felt the old dread well up and nearly overwhelm him. His sins had finally caught up, and we're going to drag him back and down into the depths below.
"Six thousand three hundred and thirteen - wow, that's quite a lot Doc, is that how many of us you saved? No wonder you belong here...
"NO. No. Doovid- that's, that's how many I killed. That's the people who died because of me. The people who deserve to have an afterlife unbothered by me!"
"Then why is it going down?".
Legundo spun around to see the number that had been following him for decades, burned into his brain, chasing him in his dreams, and haunting his waking moments, go down by one.
The two who were talking with him came further forward and stood on each side of him. He watched as the numbers trickled down, one here, three there, and slowly, he felt as though a weight was being pulled away from him. Like a backpack full of stones with a small hole at the bottom - the stones working themselves out and falling away.
The first man Legundo had met in that white place spoke up - "You're so sure, that you can never be forgiven - that you've done more evil than good. These are the people you helped, taking away from the total you are sure you earned.
The first was Abolish Veylock - who you freed with your sacrifice, the second was your friend Cleo, who would have died there if you had not, and the the trickle of lives saved because they heard your request to be good, and went on to save others - look".
Legundo saw an image appear from nowhere - a dark alleyway, a girl, a vampire crying tears of blood, and fumbling with a wooden stick. Abolish appearing, holding her hand, showing her a book, leading her to a beacon that Legundo had never seen before, a new one. A wave of light and the girl, this time weeping watery tears of joy, clasping Abolish's hand in thanks, and rushing away.
A dark alleyway, Scott Goldsmith walking by, glancing down and seeing a man getting robbed, passing by, then returning with a scowl. Pushing the thief away and letting the victim leave, then staring down at the man lying in fear on the floor. Scoffing and turning away with the final words 'you're lucky I'm keeping my promise'. As he faded back into the dark evening.
More people, some Legundo recognised, some he didn't. Apo and a young lady with her, out of the military and with a smile he'd never seen on her, both working at a food bank giving food out to the hungry.
Drift - no longer afraid to be a detective and catching one who would have murdered many more.
Shelby signing a book - passing it to a girl with a smile and a kind word, and then that girl leaning the book to another and two lonely people find friendship.
Sausage - in a circle, leading a bereavement group, telling stories again, to bring joy back to those who had lost so much.
Pearl digging down into the ground surrounding Oakhurst - opening an old coffin, and dealing with the evil in it before it broke free and caused another massacre.
Cleo sat next to a grave marked 'The Doctor' and telling the people there with her a story - his story. Some vampires some humans all hearing 'be good'.
The numbers fell away at an ever increasing speed - down and down, but he didn't even see the numbers now. Just the faces - smiles and hugs and hurt people leaving the hurt in the past and doing good.
Legundo exhaled - a last breath that felt like he'd been holding since that dreadful award ceremony - and finally felt his last chains slip away.
He turned back to Doovid with a smile that he'd forgotten he once had, and let the younger man pull him forward through the gates.
Louis stopped to speak to the gatekeeper, as he watched them go on ahead, the doctor finally free of his great burden. "What was that about? He didn't need anything forgiven - wasn't he was already covered by the gift?"
" Yes. He could have entered the gates anytime, and have his burden removed. But there is joy and greater peace for him for having laid it down himself".
"He was already forgiven".
"But he had not yet forgiven himself".
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