“People Will Stare- Make It Worth Their While”

the opposite if mwah is hawm. fucking bite you.

@allspark-cheetor

ACCIDENTALLY LEFT MY MACERATED APPLE SYRUP ON THE STOVE AND IT CARAMELIZED I GUESS?

it was super thick and dark and golden and bubbly so i took it off the heat. happy accident.

bugs

everyone's like wehhhhh why doesn't doctor house gets suuuueeed! like my man. literally every patient he sees is someone that's been trying to find a diagnosis for ages. i could live with a little medical malpractice if it were coming from someone ready to break into my home to look for allergens and not simply half heartedly listen to me before suggesting I lose weight and take ages of back and forth arguing to order a single test

"it's medical malpractice" have u ever been a doctor? most medicine is malpractice. let the man limp around chewing vicodin doing 50 invasive tests please

Once Taub (derogatory) derisively said about a patient with unexplained chronic pain “7 doctors couldn’t find anything wrong with him, what does that mean?” and House replied without even thinking “it means they’re idiots” and proceed to work his ass off to diagnose the patient Taub wanted to write off as a faker or something. If a doctor had said that when that patient was ME, I wouldn’t dream of suing them in a million years

i had a twisted dream this morning when my alarm tried to wake me up where jeff goldblum said 'Actually if you sleep a bit Longer you'll have More time to get ready It's called the Goldblum's Law and it works just go back to sleep' and i believed him and i overslept

hey boss sorry im late. i got Goldblumed

it bothers me when someone brings up misogyny in shounen anime and people shrug it off with "its designed for teenage boys, what can you expect." like well. idk i think its actually pretty important that shows for teenage boys are normal about women. i mean i think all media should be normal about women but teenagers are impressionable i think we could put a little bit of feminism in the teenage boy shows. it might do some good. you never know.

That was the correct thing to say.

"Getting into this hobby is actually super cheap and easy!!!! First, start with a section of land and a house that you own and can mess up at your discretion"

The original inspiration for this is that I've looked up a lot of basic woodworking stuff multiple times to try and make better and better tortoise enclosures, and ended up in this trap every time lmao

"It's much cheaper to just buy this size of wood and take it to your table saw" WHAT FUCKING TABLE SAW

the secret is that people who have a garage with a table saw are constantly looking for reasons to justify that use of space and money. so if you find somebody with a table saw and ask if you can use it, you're actually doing them a huge favor by justifying the saw continuing to take up space. "of course I need a table saw. what if somebody needs to upgrade a turtle enclosue."

#1. go to local gay bar 2. find group of 50-60 yr olds. 3. ask if anyone has a table saw 4. watch eyes light up

With this four step plan you get a place to practice woodworking with optional sex with some older men

For anyone wanting it, they can cut your material for you at most Home Depots if you need it

But can I have sex with older men there

real af this is genuinely me after deciding to get up and cut some apples

Like to charge, reblog to cast?

@jared-wormsboy i am crying uncontrollably

I reference this in conversation sometimes assuming everyone knows about the Owl Attack Sex Playlist and i look fucking unhinged

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It's spring now which means the kids in my city have started drawing hopscotches on the sidewalk and as a rule I do every hopscotch I see because 1. Use it or lose it (ability to scotch) and 2. If a child got down on the hardscrabble streets of Boston Massachusetts to draw a scotch the least I can do is use it, but in doing the hopscotches, I've learned that about 50% of them are the typical 8-10 step scotch and the other 50% are. Somewhat avant-garde. And of course I'm not vetting the entire scotch before I start it so sometimes it's like haha 8 steps woo! Childlike whimsy! And sometimes they're 20 steps or 30 or they've got a section with three squares instead of two where you have to do a little Charleston to step on all three, or, memorably, FORTY one foot squares. A full BLOCK of jumping on one foot but I'm no quitter so once I've started Jigsaw Junior's fuckin hopscotch gauntlet I'm there til the end just a daily pot smoker in her thirties jumping kasa-obake style through an affluent suburb while some little proto-kennedy watches from his bedroom window rubbing his sadistic little third grade hands together and cackling. It's amazing. I love spring.