tags from @pancakeling rb of my oda sketches
hi yes okay so. POCD. pedophilia ocd. irrational fear and intrusive thoughts about being a pedophile. makes it difficult to function and exist outside in public or specific areas of life. so yeah. Anyways
why would oda bsd, a man who dedicates so much time to taking care of little kids and dazai, be able to do all that while having pocd? isnt that cruel?
1 - i think oda would have a good handle on his pocd. i like the idea of someone who has pocd but is able to function and be a good person anyways. oda has come to be able to cope well w the intrusive thoughts especially so with his caretaking of the children. it's his calling to be a caretaker, which could be why his ocd latched onto pedophilia as a topic. but yeah. oda got this. he suffers but he survives well.
2 - yes thats the point. pocd and in general ocd is cruel cruel cruel
ok now why would i worry abt being seen as horrible and disgusting for this headcanon?
bc i have stupid ocd too and internet is terrible when u have ocd. and people are rlly stupid and bigoted when ocd and especially pocd are brought up. and also again seems like a cruel headcanon to give oda but thats the point
ANYWAYS SO WHAT PROMPTED THIS HEADCANON ?
ive long had this comic idea in my head that pre-18 was primarily focused on dazai and venting my frustrations of being 17 onto him. bc being 17 Sucks. esp w my disorders. yeah. anyways. so basically dazai develops a crush on oda and at bar lupin one night he confesses these feelings and oda rejects !!!!! because he is responsible good adult !!!!!!! has to put dazai down easy. and dazai hates it he hates being 17 he wants to be 18 and he wants oda to want him.
i was very much waiting impatiently to be 18 so i could leave this comic idea behind #theocdmakingmefeelguiltyforit But Then Becoming 18 Just Added More Depth
once i was adult i knew the ocd would shift ever so slightly. like its the same shit but different now that i was no longer a minor #eviltwoyearsofbeing17 but also what it did was create new channel of venting frustrations into that comic again but now from oda's position!!
i just. think it's beautifully painful and interesting to in addition of having to gently reject dazai, oda's also dealing internally with the awful awful pocd guilt. oda would be very well versed in handling his ocd, but this incident would lead to an increase and rebubbling of intrusive thoughts and intense shame and guilt . and oda has to deal w that. because i think again yes its cruel thats the point. it's that kind of angst that is deeply comforting in a way, or at least copingful for me.
TLDR um oda has good handle on his pocd but he has pocd nonetheless and i think it adds an interesting depth to his character esp in relation to his taking care of the kids and his friendship w dazai