consider us even

That’s without question no one else knew who or where Atsushi was until he showed up in Yokohama at 18 years old. While Fyodor has known about Atsushi, his ability and his location at minimum since he was 12. Because that’s when Fyodor sends Shibusawa to him.

And even when Fyodor is actively having Atsushi hunted down for through things like his bounty and the Guild’s incineration plot, it feels more like a test that anything else. It’s like he’s continuing where Shibusawa left off, setting these events and observing how Atsushi will fare through them.

Ironically in a way similar to a cat playing with it’s pray.

Like I don’t think for 5 minutes that Nathaniel Hawthorne showing up on the sky casino was supposed to be a legitimate threat. Especially knowing Lucy was there and allowing himself to get caught without even fighting back.

But I don’t think he was just randomly there, he had a purpose and it was to tie a string of blood to Atsushi. In order to keep a track of him.

A moment that stands out to me is during the Hunting dogs arc when Nikolai’s fighting Atsushi and tells him ‘you’re not one of the murder targets." Because it implies to me that Atsushi’s role is different to everyone else’s. He should be with the Agency, getting framed and then going on the run but he’s not. Atsushi is down underground fighting Nikolai who just leaves him there.

And yeah Kyouka shows up to help him but the people who came to inspect that area weren’t guards or soilders but the forensics team. Meaning that Atsushi wasn’t in any real danger and for a plot like this where the Agency should have nowhere safe left to go to that is rather odd.

The only exception to this I feel is the stuff with Fukuchi because he did originally plan to kill Atsushi. The only reason he didn’t was because Akutugawa showed up but even then he tried to have him kill Atsushi. Only reason Fukuchi didn’t go after Atsushi after was because it would’ve complicated the timeline.

Feels like an outlier because all Fyodor’s plans have involved trying to capture Atsushi. Even the Guild incineration plot had them keep him safe as a prisoner. And well, Fyodor kinda needs Atsushi alive for his plans.

Hell Fyodor was in the alleyway Atsushi was walking into in the Cannablism arc. You see him turn around at hearing Atsushi’s voice and he leaves to let Atsushi discover Dazai’s body. He just leaves him alone and carries on with his plan.

All of this just reads as "I need you but not yet." There’s a plan for Atsushi alright, there’s been one going for a long time but it hasn’t come to fruition yet. Much like how the book has specific parameters of when it can be used and its conditions, Fyodor is waiting until everything is put in place to enact his grand plan.

Shibusawa and Akutugawa.

Shibusawa did so through physical torture that pushed Atsushi to the brink. To the point he transformed to kill Shibusawa to stop the pain.

Akutagawa has done this twice.

Once as an enemy, where in which he cuts Atsushi's leg off for the first time during their first fight.

Atsushi, now pushed into a corner and in agony reminds himself that despite all the abuse and abandonment he's faced, he's always pressed on. And that determination triggers his transformation into the tiger.

The second time was as an ally, during the events of 55 minutes in his and Atsushi's fight against Gab. Where in which Akutugawa uses Rashomon on Atsushi to trigger his transformation into the tiger.

In the first instance both Atsushi and Akutugawa fought until Dazai nullified their abilities. And in the second one Atsushi returns to himself on his own.

If Soukoku is Chuuya releasing his full power trusting that Dazai will stop him before he goes to far.

Than Shin Soukoku is Atsushi stopping himself from going to far. With Akutugawa aiding Atsushi in releasing his full potential and unleashing his true power.

Emotions are awful. He never knows if he’s feeling the right thing, or if he’s feeling too much, or how to name the things that crowd his gut.

Anger’s easy. It’s always ready, always eager to eat up everything else. Fear is even easier. He knows how fear tastes on his tongue better than tea on rice, the stale metallic overlay present no matter how far back he remembers. And regardless of what else fizzled through his veins, sadness lingered beneath, the resignation more bitter than any lemon.

That’s all he ever felt, before. That’s all he thought there was.

Out in the world, Atsushi feels so much, all the time, great big swirls mixing inside. They’re overwhelming and complicated and nearly impossible to untangle into something he can package into neat little boxes for later.

Are we good together, weretiger?

But this, this isn’t unknown or scary at all. This is a bright splash of color, the warmth of a full belly and the comfort of his closet-futon.

This is simple, straightforward, sure.

He follows that surety forward, invading Akutagawa’s space.

Akutagawa allows it, allows him so close each exhale stirs the tuft of hair on the side of his face.

There’s a faint challenge in the quirk of Akutagawa’s brow.

Atsushi finds he has enough bravery to reach out and brush one white-tipped lock behind Akutagawa’s ear.

“Hope doesn’t kill,” he tells the ceiling before crossing his arms over Rashomon’s knuckle. “Lack of hope does. Are you honestly telling me you’ve never made a wish? Never daydreamed, never thought about the ways things could be different, never even just wanted something?”

Akutagawa’s scoff is almost a laugh; almost, because it’s hard to call a sound so disdainful a laugh.

“Hopes and wishes would not put food in my stomach nor warmth in my hands. Daydreams would not have kept Gin and I safe any more than they would have cured my lungs. And yet.”

When Atsushi picks his head up, Akutagawa stands only a few feet away. “And yet?”

“And yet, weretiger,” Akutagawa rumbles, low and soft. “I died. I woke. I woke again. I have suffered through the cruel indignities of hope more times in the last fortnight of knowing you than I have in my entire existence. You make me hope, and I do not care for it.”

Atsushi swallows past the sudden stone in his throat. He clutches at the ability surrounding him, weak-kneed and reeling. “What,” he tries, voice shaking. “What do I make you hope for?”

Akutagawa’s expression shutters. Shadows gather in his eyes as they trace the ribbon connecting Atsushi’s living glove to Akutagawa’s jacket.

Atsushi is idol Akutagawa's "pseudo" manager and boyfriend (unbeknownst to the public and everyone that aren't part of their inner circle.) In his words, "Jinko keeps me on top of things. I don't see why I would need an official manager if he's already doing a good job at it."

At first, the fans didn't know who this person was when they caught a glimpse of him in the few chances they have a bit of insight of Akutagawa's crew and routine. Always covering themself with baggy hoodies and cargo pants with tights underneath, white mask with black imprinted tiger stripes and nose, sunglasses, and either a beanie or bucket hat. But after some thought and revelation, they realized that they were Akutagawa's manager! They didn't even know he had one to begin with. And after knowing what Akutagawa calls him, the fans picked up on calling the manager "Jinko-chan" and were completely hooked.