¯\_( ಠ_ಠ)_/¯

got a crick in my neck and a frog in my throat and a chip on my shoulder and a stick up my ass and now you're gonna stand there puttin words in my mouth? haven't I been through enough?

I haven’t said anything interesting in a long while. this will continue

shinzo abe day was incredible. still not over seeing all the rumours about what happened, joining everyone in wondering how the fuck a shotgun assassination could have happened in japan, and then seeing the first photo of the doohickey

Any time you see a whole bunch of people getting tagged in one post, it’s such a dead giveaway for a scam. That and “hello dear”

@horsefigureoftheday

a hometown is a type of dead wife

I can't share this anywhere else. Who besides Tumblr would possibly get this reference. This is objectively the funniest thing to come out of the YouTube Babyverse and I can't even share it with anyone because they'll think I'm insane.

cancel baseball for ten thousand years

[ID: A mock Youtube video showing a user called Christian Baby, the icon a stock photo of a cross on a beach at sunset. The video is called "why we should CANCEL baseball"; it's formatted like a classic Youtube thumbnail, a stock angry baby overlay a stock photo of a baseball batter posed to hit. On top it is captioned, in big white letters, "he HIT me with a BAT???" /end ID]

[ID: tweet by @/shadoo_creeture that says "please get off my watermelon dude" followed by a photo of a small bat gripped onto a watermelon wedge much larger than it and biting down on the corner /End ID]

o fuck there's two of them now did they grow this one in a lab from a cutting?

Obviously he made him out of chocolate. C'mon now.

having unwashed hair will have you believing shit like i can’t be saved

Who the fuck is that thing tolling for

one more day til the stop sign

Everyone get up it’s stop sign day

Stop sign day

STOP SIGN DAY

Official stop sign day

Official stop sign day

Official stop sign day

Official stop sign day