stressed support main

was waiting for the elevator in the middle of taking out all the trash and a resident came out of her apartment like OH GOOD! maybe i can show you this weird bug that was in my BEDROOM! so i follow her and she gets out a magnifying glass and shows me a dead pillbug on a napkin. im like thats incredible ma'am thank you for letting me use the magnifying glass. she says "i told my creepy kids about the bug and they didn't even call me!" and this sentence is tunneling into my brain so bad theres a physical pressure

was waiting for the elevator in the middle of taking out all the trash and a resident came out of her apartment like OH GOOD! maybe i can show you this weird bug that was in my BEDROOM! so i follow her and she gets out a magnifying glass and shows me a dead pillbug on a napkin. im like thats incredible ma'am thank you for letting me use the magnifying glass. she says "i told my creepy kids about the bug and they didn't even call me!" and this sentence is tunneling into my brain so bad theres a physical pressure

what do rugby players need all that ass for?

mozzarella and parmesan is kind of like the age gap yuri of cheese

I think I'm gonna start calling it "CBRN ordnance" instead of tear gas, pepper rounds, et al. Just to hammer home the point, y'know. "The cops used teargas against the protestors" You mean the regime deployed proscribed CBRN ordnance in order to pacify the dissident citizens

i do think its really convenient how they name this shit so nonthreateningly. "tear gas" awwww it makes you cry a little haha. wrong. you can go blind.

"Gas that makes you go blind and gives you chemical pneumonia and respiratory cancer" just isn't as marketable, I suppose

fake people pleasers when marlon brando arrives

You have to watch the dosage.

You have to watch the dosage.

I realize this is a cast iron gate but I’m choosing to believe it’s a magic protection ritual

It IS a magic protection ritual, and it summons an iron gate to protect you from intruders. 

“I cast Iron Gate!”

As a blacksmith I have been called a wizard by several small kids

babe are you okay i saw you were reblogging “No Children (live at the bottom of the hill)” again?

All shall be well someday

phineas and ferb heritage post

i do wish the response to the ai water usage concern debate (umm actually the water and mineral usage is roughly equivalent to all of our other constantly growing massive distributed information systems that require enormous amounts of resource extraction etc etc etc) was less of a "haha checkmate luddites" and more of a "hmm maybe we should reevaluate our usage of constantly growing massive distributed information systems that require enormous amounts of resource extraction" but idk

a writer looking appraisingly at a bunch of tropes, and instead of "fuck, marry, kill," it's "use, avert, subvert"

send me three tropes and I'll reply with "use, avert, subvert"