we need to launch Ryan Gosling into space

For all its faults Tumblr has truly ruined all other social media for me because my friends all have Instagram and are all trying to get me on Instagram more but every time I open Instagram there are like fifteen things screaming for my attention and when I get over myself long enough to start scrolling it's like. Where is my chronological dash. Where is the following-only option. Who are these people. Why are there so many videos. Everyone is screaming at me. And then before I know it I'm thirty minutes into scrolling and I haven't seen a single thing that I actually care about. At least on Tumblr when I see stuff I don't care about I know someone I follow has found a new interest.

RIP to this blog that made this singular post and then deleted

Made the mistake of buying a bag of spinach as a person who lives alone so now every single meal I eat for the next 2 weeks is gonna about this damn spinach. We are on 24/7 spinach lockdown. Last time this happened, I made 3 salads and a spinach curry and spinach pasta and STILL half the bag turned to green rot in the fridge. My conception of "what meals require spinach" is rapidly expanding into "what meals COULD conceivably include spinach." I am considering recipes never before seen outside the realms of vegan mommy blogs. By day 10 I anticipate I will probably just do a Land Before Time and take the rest of that shit raw

you have to forgive the printer because it's one of the most machine-ass machines we interact with on a day to day basis. that thing says kerchunk. hardly anything says kerchunk these days. you can't get mad at her when she kerchunks up a little.

Crazy that tech has gotten so bad that we're doing printer forgiveness now

and it's just that sometimes it feels so alien to be aroace. Because online spaces fixate on romance in fandoms, to the point of infighting and angry rants and name calling and theory videos and threats to the creators if Their Favorite Ship isn't canonized. And you just hope the characters stay friends and hug and hold each other, and feel a little alone when the inevitable romance happens and you hope to find yourself in a new form of media. And then you step onto the grass and your friends are dating and your family is asking if they can pay for an online dating app for you and they try not to pretend that they're desperate for you to have a family, because there's only one way a family happens--between two people who kiss and make love and have children and you just can't tell them that you don't want it. That you want a family, not made of lovers but of friends, and you get sympathetic, pitying smiles that say, "You'll get it when you're older" but you're nearing 30 and you Know, you Know, you Yearn for a parter who is a friend and nothing more, even though it is More to you to be a Friend rather than a Lover and you want to cry because they just Don't Get It. You want romance to continue to exist, but away from you, where the pressure and expectation of it is not looming over your head. But there are times where you hope it'll finally come to you, so you can feel normal and date and not feel a numb, churning anxiety as you sit across from them in the restaurant and hope, beg, that they'll never want to kiss but instead talk about plants and maybe watch the stars together and bask in each other's warmth with no further expectation that you love them, pinkie entwined in theirs, and that this is the strongest expression of your love, and that you're not missing something inside of you because you don't want to kiss.

They have to keep it on easy going Beethoven like Ode to Joy here to ensure a more docile response. They cant play In the Hall of the Mountain King cause they were already burning down venues when Grieg dropped that one back in 1875, today there would be a radioactive crater.

I ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ it!

going over to my minimalist girlfriend’s house and she apologizes profusely for the mess and there’s just a single perfect, fresh pea on the floor of her living room

Blue Lois

can i help you

Red Marge

jesus christ. I Am Under Fucking Attack

World Heritage Post

i deserve a medal for this post. not because i was particularly funny but because i survived an onslaught of nearly one hundred gimmick blogs in the wake of this post popping off, and the fact that i didn’t try to track any of them down and snuff them out with my bare hands is a testament to my immeasurable strength and should be rewarded. at one point i had “the official letter h” add on to this post. you wanna know that blog’s gimmick? the really funny and original and worthwhile gimmick the official letter h blog had? yep you guessed it they just gave me the god damned letter H and then fucked off. only jesus knows the suffering i endured over that harsh winter, and he wept for me

Did a research project on this in undergrad and the results are extremely alarming because it’s not just in imagery, it’s in language used even in the law making process and within our own communities in a completely different way than expected.

This ☝🏿