Look at my posts, boy

they sell items at tjmaxx that even God is not aware of

ACCIDENTALLY LEFT MY MACERATED APPLE SYRUP ON THE STOVE AND IT CARAMELIZED I GUESS?

it was super thick and dark and golden and bubbly so i took it off the heat. happy accident.

“what’s the song of the summer” ?? it’s DANCING IN THE DARK by bruce springsteen for the 42nd year in a row

your blorbos don't have to be romantic to love each other (#platonic love wins) but also they don't have to love each other to be romantic. ship those characters as a loveless marriage. make their feelings tragically one-sided with no hope of change. put them in a dead end relationship that they both know needs to end but neither are willing to admit it yet. more bad ships forever. its enrichment for me.

If I was wealthy I’d get weird surgery recreationally and spend five grand on six academic texts per week and have a fancy office that’s only for sucking dick and smoking and wear fabrics made of evil and I’d have two personal trainers that I double book so they have to compete for my attention and I’d smell obscure and irresistible and I’d have machine guns and a sculptor that I fund who lives in the woods and is not allowed to leave but gets whatever they want brought to them because the art is just that important and I’m not allowed to see it until it’s done and also theyre dying

READER BEWEADER YOU’RE IN FOR A SCEADER

the problem is i really do love staying up until one billion o'clock. it just cant be helped

benefits of using 10 different kinds of adblocking software and exclusively pirating media: you start to receive marketing from the creepypasta universe

did anyone hear that

i think there's something out here

i'm scared. is anyone there?

help

WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT

cats will be like please i need you to watch me wiggle around on this carpet please hey look look please look at me i’m wiggling

i swear if the wizard doesnt let me out of his abandoned salt mine soon im gonna fucking LOSE IT

what did you do to be put into the salt mine

i MAY have eaten his special wizard meal. but i think he should let me out tbh

was it good? was it worth it? are you able to bear the weight of your sin?

im not gonna lie it was fucking delicious i would fucking do it again. wait shit youre the fucking wizard in disguise seeing if ive learned my lesson arent you. fuck.

10 YEARS IN THE ABANDONED SALT MINE.

Hey, no homo, but I am sitting on the broken swing set out back in the perfect, quiet, 2:00am blackness and picturing the softness of your voice and the darkness of your eyes with such perfect and terrible clarity that it feels like I'm choking on my own heartbeat.

Now I'm eating croutons straight out of the bag.

Still no homo ?

I'm gonna level with you, friend: I am eating these croutons gay style.