Random Sheit

catfishing the rich hypno kink girl so I can knock her out with a stock image of a rainbow swirly lollipop (wrapped around a nightstick) and call my friends over to help me load her solid mahogany furniture into a truck to resell on craigslist in another state

loud warning

Rolling on the floor sobbing and crying and losing my mind at “GET INSIDE THE VAAAAAAAAAAN”

Alternate universe Ratatouille

Ratacoochie

This post shot me in the chest twice

“scientists don’t want you know” is a phrase that always cracks me up because if you actually meet a scientist they will be shaking and crying like an overstimulated chihuahua with the need to let you know

some hyper famous artists like Van Gogh transcend overratedness and become underrated because they're so normalized. Like I'll look at a van Gogh and I'm like wait this really is amazing you guys don't get it

Shakespeare is like this

Bonus: If I buy a book I get to keep it! The publisher can't turn up at my house at random and confiscate all the books I bought.

@ralfmaximus

They say that sudden, intense cravings for very specific foods are usually a sign of a vitamin deficiency. If so, that I'm presently making myself french toast, scrambled eggs, and a bacon and cheese sandwich at 11:45 PM must mean the vitamin I'm missing is grease.

I cross-posted this to Bluesky and got followed by a bunch of folks with blog headers clarifying which exact flavour of Christianity they adhere to because they thought I was making a hashtag-relatable post about cheating on your diet. Now we get find out how many of them are also comfortable with posts about werewolf cock.

And you know, for young writers, this has got to be so detrimental just from the perspective of opening your document and seeing a million corrections that, frankly, don't need to be there. If you're a young writer you're likely not going to have the background knowledge to know what is and isn't a good suggestion, you're just going to see a document that makes it look like you made every mistake possible so clearly you must be a terrible, stupid writer and should just give up.

terrifying when you watch a movie or a show or whatever & youre like that was fun but it felt a little redundant they didnt need to hammer the point home that much & then you go online & theres thousands of people going that was so weird i did not get it what did that mean google.com ending explained please?