It was too late, when the humans came. They were a young species, still exploring outwards, vital and thriving.
We… were not.
War had ravaged us, and sickness, and war once again, until our population dwindled beyond the point of recovery. We struggled against that, of course… we used genetic manipulation, and cloning, and even more desperate measures. None succeeded. When the humans came, we were sinking into apathy, only a few tens of us left. We had begun to discuss whether we should commit a mass suicide, or simply wait to fade away.
And then the young species came, in their clumsy ships, and they asked us why we were so few.
“We are becoming extinct,” we told them. “We have passed the point of recovery.”
It is custom to avoid the races that are dying – once a species reaches the point of inevitable extinction, even war is suspended, and the fiercest enemy pulls back. The custom was born of plagues and poisons that could be carried forth from a dying world to afflict a healthy one, but it has the implacable weight of tradition now. After we are gone, after they have waited for the prescribed period of quarantine, there will be a fight for our world. Habitable worlds are few, and this is a good one, with plenty of free groundwater and thriving vegetation. It is a bitter thing to be grateful for the custom that allows us to die in peace, but we are grateful.
But the humans don’t know that custom, and they do not leave. They seem distraught, when we tell them we are dying, and try to offer their aid - but their technology is behind ours, and it is too late. When they realize that they can’t save us, though, they do something that bewilders us.
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“Gravity generators sure are a great invention,” I said as I looked out at the tiny ocean. I didn’t even have to turn my head quickly to see the curve of the horizon. This place shouldn’t have been big enough to hold an atmosphere, much less the beginnings of a city.
“No joke,” Mur said, idly picking up a rock with one blue-black tentacle and letting it fall. “This one’s quality, too. No hiccups that I’ve noticed yet. In the old days, this asteroid wouldn’t be good for more than mining or a dug-out storage space.”
“How long ago was that?” I asked. “Is artificial gravity a new thing? All I know is it’s older than Earth’s introduction to all this.”
Mur rippled his tentacles in a shrug. “Beats me swimming. It wasn’t invented on my planet, so no one bothered to teach it in school.”
“Really? That seems like an oversight.”
Mur tipped his squid head back to look at me. “Is everyone on Earth taught the origins of every technological advancement ever?”
“Okay, fair point,” I said. “But we do know about the big ones. I could tell you all about the brothers who made the first flying vehicle, or the race between countries to reach the moon first.”
“Right. So who developed the air circulation systems for reaching the moon? The food storage, the propulsion?”
“Uh, somebody along the way,” I said with exaggerated confidence. “Those aren’t nearly as important, though. Artificial gravity seems like a big deal.”
Another ripple. “You just say that because your species never figured it out on your own. A culture that can’t throw things would be astonished if you didn’t know who first invented your ball-throwing sports.”
I tipped my head in agreement. “Yeah, I definitely don’t know the history of modern sports. And the first person to throw a ball for fun was definitely before recorded history.”
“See? It’s all relative.”
“Somehow I doubt gravity generators were cobbled together with rocks in some species’ caveman days. Whether or not they lived in caves like we did.”
Mur spread his tentacles. “Who’s to say? Could be gravity-resistant rocks somewhere.”
“Really?” I asked, eyebrows raised. “That would be really cool.”
He dropped his tentacles with a bored smack. “I have no idea. I’m just making things up at this point. Wonder if it’s worth calling back to the ship for an update.” He tapped one tentacle against the hoversled and the large crate it held.
I looked away from the shore, in the direction of the dinky spaceport. “They probably won’t want to pester the client until they’re really late. This is definitely where we’re supposed to meet them.” The classy benches and railings of this cliffside lookout were unmistakable.
“Unless there was a second lookout, hidden from view,” Mur said. “Which they didn’t tell us about. For some reason.”
“Hm. Unlikely.”
“Yeahhhh, they’re probably just late. Disappointing in terms of punctuality and tree size.”
“Hey, yeah!” I said, looking around at the plantlife, which was low and bushy at best. “There’s was a whole thing in the briefing about how proud they are of the big trees they’re growing! What gives? Maybe those are all on the other side of the asteroid.”
“Or they talk a good game, and this fertilizer is meant to help the trees live up to the hype.” Mur reached up to tap the crate again.
“They sure sounded confident — Hey, is that them?” In the time it took me to point out the single-person speeder zipping up the path to us, it had come to a halt with a screech of the overtaxed hover engine, and an apology that started early.
“—rry I wasn’t here on time!” said the client, tumbling over her tentacles as she spilled out of the tiny car. She was a Strongarm like Mur, just the octopus variant without the pointy head. This one had the shortest and stubbiest tentacles I’d seen yet, colored in neon green. She sounded very earnest as she apologized. “I hate to keep you waiting like that, but my regular vehicle malfunctioned partway here, and I had to go back. Is there any chance you have time to bring the delivery just over the hill? This speeder doesn’t have storage space.”
It really didn’t. There was barely room for her, and she could squish to get into the seat. I glanced at Mur, telling the client, “Let us check with the captain real quick.”
“Of course! Thank you either way.”
I took out my phone while Mur retrieved the payment tablet, and while they got that squared away, I got permission for a detour. We weren’t on a tight schedule, and the view when we’d come in for a landing had shown the main settlement to be close by.
Captain Sunlight said to go ahead; Wio chimed in to keep an eye out for ruffians; the captain reminded her sternly that this asteroid colony had the highest of safety ratings, which Wio knew full well. Sounded like the pilot was bored too. But she had video games in the cockpit for times like these.
I went back to Mur and the client with the good news. “We can certainly take this a little farther for you.”
“Excellent; thank you!” She twirled three tentacles in joy. “Shall I tow it with you riding? We wouldn’t be able to go very fast, but faster than walking.” She pointed at a towing hitch that I hadn’t noticed on the back of the speeder.
“I’m fine with that,” I said, once again looking at Mur.
“Of course you’re fine with that,” he said with a roll of his eyes, but he was already walking forward. “You would have been happy to go at top speed.”
“Nonsense, that would put the delivery at risk!” I said with a grin. “But otherwise sure, sounds like a great time.”
The client laughed at that, and Mur complained dramatically about the incomprehensible love of danger that all humans seemed to have, and this one in particular. “You should have seen her ride a sled down a ramp to catch an explosive before it went off.”
“What!”
“I keep telling you, I didn’t know it was a bomb!” I exclaimed. “I thought everybody was freaking out because it was expensive and breakable!”
“Oh, it was both those things,” Mur said. “And also a bomb.”
“Goodness,” the client said. “Well at least I don’t need to worry about the hills being too steep for you.”
“Not in the slightest,” I assured her.
We got set up with the hoversled attached to the jaunty little speeder (which really looked like something a toddler would ride at a playground), and I took a seat next to Mur, holding onto the cargo straps. The client promised to drive at a safe speed.
And she actually did, which was honestly a little surprising, given the racecourse nonsense she’d done on the way here.
“Once we crest the hill, you’ll have a good view of some of our best trees so far,” she called back to us.
“Oh cool!” I said. “We were wondering about those.”
“They’re growing really well! Impressive in both directions, with some lovely colors. They were a good choice for this environment. I think the morning fog is what does it.”
She chattered away happily about the import process and the goals for terraforming this particular asteroid. Apparently they’d planted several types of tall flora, and were aiming to break some records eventually. The place was going to be a resort officially, but also a study of compatible ecosystems from different worlds. The rich folks coming on vacation were here to fund the science, whether or not they fully realized it.
“Here we are; behold the tallest trees that Eora has to offer!”
The sight from the top of the hill was pretty, sure, but my first thought was, Gimme a good ladder, and I could see over Eora’s forest canopy.
The trees were pear-shaped and a single story tall. Pinkish-orangey-tan bark, colored in vertical stripes. Each had a spherical poof of foliage that looked like palm trees trying to be dandelions. Visually striking, but yeah: not big. At least by my standards.
“Aren’t they impressive?” the client gushed. “The biggest trees I’ve ever seen in person! And some of the other types we have from other worlds promise to be even bigger!”
“You should see a redwood,” I said casually.
She perked up, slowing so she could twist around to look at me without crashing. “Is that like a rustbark? We have some of those! They’re only a few years old, and they’re doing surprisingly well!”
“Where are they from?” I asked. The name sounded similar, but that could have been coincidence.
“We got the sprouts from a colony world,” she said. “It’s not my specialty — I work over here, not there — but they’re not far if you want a quick look!”
Before I could ask, Mur said, “As long as it’s quick.”
I grinned at him. “Thanks!”
“We’re not in a hurry. And I’ve heard you talk about redwoods before. I want to see too.”
I said, “If they’re only a few years old, they won’t be very big yet. But they have the potential to be.”
So we drove right past the building that we’d planned to load the fertilizer into (a low building, in classic Strongarm style, which I could have climbed on top of without using my hands). We crested another sharp hill that looked like it had been built intentionally, just for the view. The rocks that peeped out from between plants and dirt were all shiny black and obsidianlike.
The trees we coasted down to park in front of made me grin. They were still young and bushy, but that was a very familiar green.
The client parked and hopped out. “The bark is hard to see from here, and it’s honestly not very rust-colored, but if you get a closer look…”
“It looks right to me,” I said as I slid off the hoversled. “Lemme get a look at those needles.”
Mur asked, “Needles?”
“The leaves,” I clarified. “They’re narrow and pointy, so people call this kind of leaf needles.”
“Ah. I was going to say, that sounds dangerous enough to be from your planet.”
“Not everything from Earth is dangerous! Not even most of it!” I laughed. “Anyways, that’s the cactus you’re thinking of. Totally different plant with actual stabby needles.”
“Death wish from a death planet.”
“It’s really not.”
The client cut in. “But is this rustbark the same as your redwoods?”
I ran my fingers through the needles and ducked briefly in for a sniff. “Sure looks like. If your resort is still going in a few centuries, these could be hundreds of times my height.”
The client spun to look up at me. “I’m sorry, how tall?”
At the same time, Mur asked, “How long?”
Answering both of them, I said, “Hundreds. This is the biggest kind of tree on my planet, and some of them are truly ancient. I’ve seen a cross-section from a stump that’s over a thousand years old, and that was about my height in diameter. There have been much bigger.”
The stubby-limbed Strongarm looked absolutely flabbergasted. “What.”
I tilted my head at her. “Didn’t that colony world say they get super tall?”
She waved half her tentacles. “Yes! These are extremely tall already!”
“Ah. Not by my planet’s standards.”
“Clearly!” She turned her wide-eyed gaze back toward the bushy sapling in front. “I’d heard that some planets have flora that gets freakishly tall, but really?”
“To be fair, the big ones like this are freakish by our standards too,” I said. Then I pointed at the sapling. “But this is a small tree.”
Mur backed me up. “I have seen this height on multiple worlds.”
She was still staring at the tree, looking a bit shell-shocked. “I can’t believe my cousin was right about researching farther afield. If he finds out our winning specimens aren’t actually impressive to anyone well-traveled, he’ll never shut up about it.”
I winced. “Do you expect to get a lot of well-traveled visitors?”
“No, mostly bored wealthy sorts from the nearest two moons,” she said. “It could actually be a while before anyone expects something taller.”
Mur said, “Then you can always take credit now for the exceptional fertilizer making the new trees reach ever more shocking heights. Sounds like it’ll be a while before they get really extreme.”
I nodded absently and looked at the hill that blocked the view of the sea. “You said there’s a lot of fog here? That’s really good for redwoods; it helps the tallest ones get enough water without fighting gravity to pump it all the way to the top.”
With a devious smile in his voice, Mur suggested, “You could let people place bets on how tall a certain tree will be after each year. They’re bound to bet wrong.”
“Hm. Knowing our clientele, that might actually be popular.”
I said, “And you have good fertilizer that might also make a difference! I’m assuming it’s the best out there; I have no idea what makes a fertilizer good.”
Mur gave me an amused look. “Something you don’t know about your planet’s living things? I am shocked.”
I spread my arms. “I wasn’t trained on tree care. I just think redwoods are cool. Which reminds me!” I turned back to the client. “You might see if you can find other types of trees that grow in the same forests as these. They’ve been known to work together and help each other out, because they need different things from the soil. A fungus network would be the most symbiotic, but that’s bound to be risky when you’re combining interplanetary biomes like this.”
The client’s tentacles tapped at the ground like she was taking notes. “That is a great idea to consider; thank you. I may have to seek out a more official source than that colony world.”
“If you can get reliable information and identification from Earth, then you might be able to find the actual trees in a colony,” I said.
Mur said, “Just make sure you don’t end up with bonus danger. Like real needles or other violent nonsense.”
“Cactus live in dry climate,” I told him. “No especially stabby plants in redwood forests.”
“Oh, so they’re all safe?” Mur challenged. “No exploding seed pods or falling shells or hallucinogenic spores?”
“Nothing like that,” I said, then paused. “Although.”
“What? Do tell.”
I had to admit, “There is a vine called poison oak. You should probably avoid that one.”
Mur laughed aloud. “Of course there’s a poison vine!”
The client said, “I will be sure not to ask for anything poisonous. Thank you.”
“How bad is it?” Mur wanted to know. “Does it smell tasty, and tempt people into eating it?”
“No, it causes a rash if you touch it. The oil on the leaves can stay on skin and clothes for a long time if you don’t wash it. Some people are super allergic.”
“Why do you even have something like that?”
“It’s an important part of the ecosystem!” I said.
“I’m sure; poisoning everything that touches it must be crucial.”
“It doesn’t poison everything. Birds eat the berries and spread the seeds, so they’re not bothered.”
“Oho, a runner-up to ‘creature that eats Earth poison’! Tell me, have humans invented a range of ways to recreationally poison themselves with this vine?”
I shook my head. “No, poison oak is just an annoyance as far as we’re concerned. Definitely too toxic to eat.”
“That’s got to be a first.”
“Stinging nettle, though; that makes excellent tea.”
“There we go.”
The client looked from me to Mur. “I get the feeling I should write down some of this for what to look for and what to avoid.”
Mur said, “Yeah, probably.”
I glanced back at the building that was still waiting for fertilizer. “Got any writing implements in there?”
“Oh, right! The delivery! Goodness, you’ll be needing to get on your way. Quick quick, back onboard and I’ll just take a few notes while the junior crew unloads the fertilizer.”
“Just a few notes,” Mur repeated as he clambered back onto the hoversled. “Sure. So how do these nettles sting you, and how do you turn that into a drink? I fully expect it to be the intoxicating kind.”
I explained while we drove over to do the original job we’d set out to do. Mur was disappointed to hear that nettle tea didn’t even have caffeine in it. The client took lots of notes.
When we finally got back to the ship, Mur told Captain Sunlight that we’d gotten caught up instructing the client on how to grow Earth plants and avoid Earth poisons, and the captain said that was basically what she’d expected.
~~~
Good news! Volume One of the collected series is now available in paperback and ebook form! (Check your local store, or this handy link hub.)
~~~
These are the ongoing backstory adventures of the main character from this book.
Shared early on Patreon! There’s even a free tier to get them on the same day as the rest of the world.
The sequel novel is in progress (and will include characters from these stories. I hadn’t thought all of them up when I wrote the first book, but they’re too much fun to leave out of the second).
I want to talk about a very specific trans boy experience today: female friends or family members trying to pull you into „all men suck“ conversations.
These might not be outright biological essentialism conversations (some pseudoscientific nonsense like „Men are biologically hardwired to be abusive and violent“). Most often, it’s just private rants: their boyfriend did something shitty or a male customer at work acted creepy or their ex cheated and they are actually just mad at that guy specifically but express it in a „why are all men always shitty“ way.
It’s a special type of uncomfortable. They are indirectly, subtly misgendering you by excluding you from „all men“ as a group (even if they do not directly say „I see you as a girl and therefore expect you to agree with me that men, which to me you are not a part of, are assholes“ out loud and they may in fact not even consciously think that, they do put you in a separate category than men just by silently assuming that they can say „all men are shit“ to you without insulting you.)
But it’s a type of misgendering that can’t just simply be fixed by changing the words used. It’s not a „You are my sister“ „Please call me your brother“ situation that can be corrected just like that. You likely would not feel much better if they went „all men, including you, are shit“ instead.
It’s not a linguistic problem, it’s a worldview problem, and those are much harder to correct. The actual issue is, of course, the assumption that a group of individuals can be by default bad due to something that’s out of their control - and that applies to „men“ as a group as much as it would apply to „women“ or „people of color“ or „elderly people“ or „gay people“. Saying „all of them suck“ just… sucks.
Individuals can be shitty for lots of things that are within their control: their behavior, the way they treat others, their opinions etc. And some groups hold a special power position in society that makes it easier for them to be shitty and not face serious consequences. That does apply to „men“ as a group, and maybe for that reason we can not fully equate saying „all men suck“ with saying „all women suck“ - the latter is born in a misogynistic society, the former may just be a simplistic way to express „the patriarchy allows or even rewards male individuals for shitty behavior“. Which may just be why this stereotype of „women bond by getting together and complaining about how all men suck“ exists in the first place!
But that’d be a whole lot to say when all your sister wants to do is just to go „Ugh all men are the same, I just found out my boyfriend cheated on me again, I hate men!“ and get a sympathetic „Men are the worst!“ back. You may not want to go „well actually, gender does not make anyone a cheater, your boyfriend is just an asshole, but then again growing up in a patriarchal society may play a role in why you forgave him the first time, so I understand your frustration, it’s a nuanced topic“ right there - or at least I do not when I find myself in that position.
So, I just want to give you a hug and tell you that I get it. You’re allowed to feel uncomfortable with it.
Japanese is an incredibly fun and rewarding language (if you’ve ever wanted to learn it for ANY reason, most importantly including the “silly” reasons) but the fearmongering and capitalist intervention involved in the language learning process have given it a reputation as an “impossible task” for English speakers, leading to confusion and dkn learners and weird pessimist attitudes about the whole thing. In this thread I will explain how to effectively learn and retain Japanese. This is a tried, tested and true method; probably 99% of all people who try to learn Japanese give up, but everyone I’ve met who has tried and stuck with this has been at or above N3-N4 after 6 months or less including me
You can teach yourself Japanese for free if you have a little free time every day and a computer
1. Drill yourself on hiragana and katakana. These are the phonetic building blocks of Japanese, think of them as equivalent to english letters. This site is a good resource in general. Once you have a solid grasp on this, DO NOT LINGER HERE; move to step 2. You will master kana later.
2. Download Anki. This is a flashcard service. They have a paid app if you’re willing to invest for it, but if not, they have a mobile website (create an account and sync it with your computer).
This is the deck you’re going to download. Import it to Anki and do this every day. I have learned the hard way (twice) that skipping this is bad. If you become overwhelmed, you can change the number of new cards and reviews by clicking the cog next to the name of the deck!
3. Cure Dolly (Youtube, grammar) + transcript. She has kind of a posh accent, you might want to turn subtitles on. Watch a few videos when you feel like it but most importantly set up 4 and 5 as soon as possible
4. Yomitan (must have) is a browser extension that functions as a pop-up dictionary. you need to install dictionaries for it to work. here are some dictionaries you can use with yomitan and explanations of what they do
5. READ. DO NOT LET YOURSELF GET STUCK BEFORE THIS STEP. JUST READ!!!! Most people who fail to learn Japanese do so because they are afraid of not being ready to move on, which is counterproductive. Just read. When you were a child did you spend years on vocab and grammar before reading? No I bet you did not. Pick something to read and learn what you don’t already know by reading in Japanese.
Jiten.moe has a list of novels and visual novels that you can read on your computer sorted by difficulty. So does jpdb. There’s also this document. There’s also this document. Hey look this website is cool too
For visual novels: download LunaHook. It “hooks” to your VN and allows you to use Yomitan on words you don’t know. Turn off the translation feature, it does nothing to help you learn
For literary texts: ttsu e-reader supports epub and htmlz files.
You can also learn Japanese by watching anime, but it’s a little more convoluted and requires a lot more patience.
For manga, utilize Mangatan, but I don’t recommend this right out the gate because when you’re first learning sentence structure you’ll want something with complete sentences.
Set your computer up for mining vocab before you start reading. Once you finish your kaishi deck, you can drill your mining cards (I didn’t do mine until after finishing kaishi because it was too much).
Most importantly: reading is going to be hard at first. It is going to piss you off. You need to muscle through with this because this is where the bulk of your learning will happen. After a while you will just feel like reading because you love reading! Try not to pick something too hard for your first read, but if you’re interested in the story you might be able to muscle through something a little tougher.
Remember to consult yomitan and cure dolly where needed, that’s what it’s there for. As you can see I am quite normal about the Japanese language, so if you have any other questions or need help with anything else feel free to shoot me an ask and I will get back to you promptly. Japanese is not your enemy and it is not impossible. It is your friend
Humans being the first. Not the strongest or the smartest or the weirdest or the most violent. Just the first.
We called out into the dark over and over. We sent out messages in hopes. We searched every planet we could reach, in hopes of any sign of life. Any at all.
We thought, hoped we were the last, because we couldn’t bear the idea of being the one ones this awake and alive in a world as vast as this.
And we died alone.
When the others are born, many many years later, they find us, everything we left for them.
They recover The Golden Record and look at it a million times over, they dig up our fossils and put us in museums, they study us for years and years, loving us as we love our ancestors’ painted hands on cave walls.
In a lot of their languages, the word they use for us has the same root for “mother”.
I think about this idea a lot. Also think it'd be fun to have some alien characters in a setting like this who are super into ancient earth, like how some people are way into Rome.
Getting tattoos of ancient human deities like Superman, Shakira, or The Doom Slayer.
Maybe making their gamer tag a bunch of mistranslated Human words to sound cool and edgy
Getting into some VERY problematic intergalactic politics based on ancient Human leaders.
Writing retellings and reimaginings of legendary human epics like Gilgamesh, Dark Souls, Sherlock Holmes, and Star Wars.
Drawing inspirational and life altering messages and advice from completely bastardized Human media and myths. Their original messages somehow still preserved through the lens of a culture that might not understand, but most definitely appreciates them.
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This is an enormously petty moment from me. We all have them. If it bothers you please just scroll on. My apologies.
But I'm sorry, why the chicken-fried FUCK were people saving their work only to google docs in the first place. I can understand if it's the only cloud backup you have, but text files weigh nothing--why aren't they on your own machine first, backed up to g-docs second? Your PC, your phone, your goddamn mp3 player? Why were you putting the ONLY copy of ALL of your work squarely in the hands of a single evil megacorp, and why have you been doing it since high school?
I ranted about this when google docs first came into fashion, and I'm ranting about it now. It's been like watching a grown adult walk into traffic. WHyyyyyyy.
If you're affected by this, I'm begging you to treat it like a learning moment. You are not in control of anything that isn't saved to your own device, accessible offline, and through your own choice of software. You never will be.
For a free cloud backup that, at present, is not known to fuck with your stuff, use dropbox.
For a much more secure paid cloud backup, use Protondrive. It comes with the VPN, and Proton is based in Sweden. It is thus more secure than corporations based in countries which are under certain U.S. treaties. It's also end-to-end encrypted. Nobody can see your shit and nobody can tamper with it. If you really, REALLY missed that browser-based editing or need to seamlessly work on stuff with multiple people, they even offer a docs clone.
I’ve seen some people (and/or ads) imply lately that talking to AI is superior to talking to real human beings (for example because it „replies immediately“, „always cares about your interests“ and is „always nice to you“) - let’s talk about that.
First things first: I’ll focus on „talking to AI recreationally“ here - as in talking to AI about your day, your hobbies and interests, your everyday worries, your love life, your sex life, your creative projects, role-playing with it etc. Basically all the things people discuss with their friends. We are not talking about „AI helping with early detection of cancer cells“ or anything like that. That’s a completely different discussion.
So, „ChatGPT is like a best friend but better, it is never too busy to talk and it never judges me“… well, there are certain things we don’t even need to talk about here. You already know that the conclusion of this letter won’t be „that’s a great idea, let’s all stop talking to each other and completely rely on ChatGPT for all our social needs instead“. That’d be a horrible idea and I don’t want to belittle you by acting like you are not aware of that.
Even if you don’t know any specific scientific details, you know that humans need humans in order to thrive or survive. We are just wired that way. We are group animals. A baby would literally die if left alone. Adults deteriorate both physically and mentally in social isolation. We don’t all need the exact same amount or type of social interaction but we all do need it.
What I do want to talk about here are the specific claims these people/ads make, who they target and why they may work.
Yes, humans need humans, social interaction is a core human need - and we don’t all have easy access to that. That’s, sadly, a fact. Loneliness is common. We live increasingly isolated lives. For many people, it’s not really like the choice is between „I’ll talk to one of my trusted friends“ or „I’ll talk to ChatGPT“ - it’s between „I’ll talk to ChatGPT“ or „I’ll talk to nobody“. And that’s heavy. That kind of pain is not something we can gloss over or ridicule.
The reasons for severe loneliness are diverse. Some people struggle with forming or maintaining friendships, for example due to social anxiety or autism or negative childhood experiences. Some people become adults and suddenly realize they were never actually taught how to make friends outside of a school setting. Some people are so burned out from working to make rent, from taking care of their elderly parents, from raising their kid, from trying to survive as a chronically ill person (all without a community to fall back on when times get hard) that they have to helplessly watch their friendships fade away because they don’t have the energy to maintain them. Some people grow up as „the weird kid“ and internalize that they will always be the one to stand alone in the corner. And that’s still only some of the many reasons.
The mean thing about loneliness - no matter if its the „I have no friends“ or the „I have friends but there are things that prevent me from reaching out“ type - is that real human beings are naturally messy. What I mean by that is: everyone has their own life. People have bad days and give short replies. People are busy and leave you on read. People are mentally preoccupied and accidentally ignore your topic. People give vague answers. People misunderstand you. - and in a really mean ironic twist, loneliness can amplify all that messiness.
Think about it this way: if you haven’t read a book in years, then the very idea of starting a book can be daunting. What if you don’t get it? What if you don’t like it? But if you are a regular reader, then encountering a difficult chapter or even a book you don’t like is probably not a big deal! That’s because you have the experience that helped you develop the inner tools to deal with that situation. In fact, you may find that it’s often the „difficulties“ of reading (having to think about a chapter, weighing different interpretations etc.) that actually make it enjoyable and enriching!
The same thing applies to the natural difficulties of relationships with real human beings.
Yes, AI will reply instantly and it will agree with you and it will be nice to you. But real human beings will challenge you. They will actually broaden your horizons and enrich your life - by bringing up a new perspective, by disagreeing with something you believed to be true, by telling you when you make no sense. And, honestly, sometimes also just by making you wait for a reply.
Actually, the selling point „AI never disagrees“ can be a really dangerous one. There have been multiple suicides and murders linked to that now - not because AI is evil but because it’s not a human being. It doesn’t think. It just predicts what you want to hear.. and that can lead to really dangerous spirals because it’ll also enable, encourage and even flesh out suicidal thoughts. Or manic thoughts. Or psychotic thoughts. Or extremist thoughts.
That’s because, and this is really important, it’s actually not „a robot friend“ in the sense that it’s like an artificial personality that has thoughts and feelings, just not human ones. It does not have thoughts and feelings at all.
I am not saying „ChatGPT is evil and wants you dead“. I’m just saying: It’s basically just autocorrect that is really, really good at putting together sentences. But it doesn’t think about the content of these sentences. (Of course calling it autocorrect is oversimplifying a complex technology but its a good comparison to explain the main misinformation: It creates text. It doesn’t create thoughts.)
Human beings don’t reply instantly - because they actually think before they reply. And sometimes that reply will be „WTF are you talking about“ and that’s healthy.
Hi can I recommend a Mreader x Bucky where the reader was a former assassin too. Like he was best friends with Steve and Bucky and the same that happened to Bucky happened to him as well.
Reader also doesn’t talk to the others avengers except form Steve and Bucky. To them he sometimes rambles a bit too much. But just when he’s alone with ether one of them in front of the other he talks quietly to them so no one could hear.
he also doesn’t like getting touched from anyone. Sometimes he would just stand there when he wants a hug, but give no sings that he wanted one, so he often didn’t get any. And has a stuffed blue Dino that he sleeps with but no one knows.
A privilege
No specific warning. Short. Just fluff.
Bucky Barnes x Former Assassin! Male Reader
Tony was not used to quiet spaces, anyone who personally knew him knew that fact about him. Whether it was working in his lab or cooking in the kitchen, there always had to be noise; music, chit chat, plates breaking and gadgets going woo! Noise was mandatory.
Another thing about Tony is that he loves talking with people around him, he'd start a conversation with anyone because silence between two individuals is just too awkward for him. So, imagine how confused he was, that no matter what he said, you'd never ever say a word back to him. Like, ever.
Tony blinked twice, confused and taken aback by your lack of answer and reaction to his little joke. On one of your arms you were holding two plates with pieces of cheesecake, in your hand, two empty glasses were held between your fingers, and in your free hand you were holding a box of milk. The genius, owner of the tower, chuckled a little bit nervously. "In case you haven't heard... I said, it's clear you're not lactose intolerant, right? Because, you know, with all the lactose on you." No word came from you, not even the slightest reaction.
It was your turn to blink slowly.
What did the small man want?
Awkward. Tony just shook his head and hand. "Okay nevermind, need help with your plates?"
He tried to reach for the plates resting on your arm but you quickly took two steps back, staring at him with a frown between your eyebrows as if he tried to hurt you or do something really stupid. Tony froze in place, startled. “So-rry?”
At that moment, Steve came into the kitchen and grabbed Tony’s shoulder with a soft smile adorning his lips. “Don’t take it as an insult, Tony, Y/n just likes to keep his personal space in check.” He then turned to look at you and gave you a brighter smile. “Enjoy it!”
You nodded and grumbled a low, “Sure,” before leaving the kitchen and going to Bucky’s bedroom where he was waiting for you. You walked fast but tried to be cautious as well, avoiding anyone in your way as you didn’t want to be interrupted by any other Avengers, having bumped with Tony in the kitchen was already a surprise and an unfortunate event, it could have been worse tho, you could have bumped with Thor. Oh God, not Thor.
About to turn around the corner to the dormitory hall, you stopped right on your tracks as you heard Natasha and Wanda talking, Natasha didn’t do long conversations, but Wanda on the other hand… a shiver ran down your spine. Their voices became clearer as they approached, and you tensed with your treats in your hands and arm, praying that they wouldn't notice you. They walked past you, not turning around, and you let out a soft sigh of relief… that didn’t take long for Natasha to notice.
“Oh, hey Y/n,” she greeted you as she looked over her shoulder in her direction.
You froze in place like a cat that just got caught. Wanda also turned to see you and smiled at you so warmly. “Hi Y/n! How are you doing?” What a pretty butterfly.
But no word came from you. You just nodded, and rushed towards the opposite direction from them before disappearing in one of the dorms in the hall, leaving both women confused.
Peace was met at once, the low voices of the reporters sharing the current news in the TV of the bedroom were the only thing that could be heard. You walked deeper inside the dorm, and found Bucky laying on the bed as he stared at the screen. The milk, glasses and treats were left on the night stand by the side of the bed with messy sheets before you jumped right to Bucky’s side and nuzzled close to him, your arms wrapped around his waist.
Bucky’s attention left the TV and went to you, his hand going to caress and massage the top of your head as he left small kisses on your forehead. “What is it, dear? What happened?”
“Tony,” you said shortly, your voice muffled against the fabric of Bucky’s blue navy shirt.
“Oh, Tony happened. Poor you.” It always amazed you how quickly he understood you, but at the end you realized it wasn’t really that surprising, this is what people develop between each other when they go through the most scarring, traumatic experience of their lives that took literal decades and a limb from them, right? Bucky lost his arm, you lost a leg and a hand. How sweet.
You turned on your back, facing the ceiling, with one hand you reached for the plates with cheesecake and gave one to Bucky. The latter took it in his hands but something was missing.
“Y/n,” he called.
“Hmm?”
A soft chuckle came from the blue eyed man as he signaled an empty hand of his. “Can I have a fork please?”
It took a minute for you to realize what was going on, you closed your eyes and sighed loudly. The door of the bedroom then opened, and a tall blonde American man entered with two forks in his hand. “A bird told me you forgot to take utensils.” Steve was truly America’s hero.
A movie was playing on TV as you, Bucky and Steve ate snacks and drank soft drinks. Steve brought for himself some oat cookies, not really interested in cheesecake. The movie chosen was one of science fiction, and it clearly had subjects that neither Bucky or Steve understood, but you, thanks to the heavy research you made, which consisted of doom scrolling in social media for hours, you were able to explain everything.
"So these enormous glasses, or however you call them, let's you play a video game by making you feel that you're actually in that game, they call it virtual reality," you ranted, Bucky gave you short nods, Steve hummed to signal you he understood, and you just kept talking throughout the whole movie. "And these characters have to do this... and that... but he.... and she..." you literally narrated the whole movie.
The movie came to an end, and it was already late, Bucky would have loved to keep you with him a little more but he also had to finish some stuff while you had other plans.
"Hey, babe, here," he called you as he reached out for something behind the pillows, from behind them he pulled out a stuffed blue dino, a Spinosaurus to be more precise, and handed it to you. "You left it here yesterday, I'm surprised you didn't notice that you left it to begin with."
Your hands grabbed the plush from Bucky's hands, your eyes examining that little furry companion that you always kept in your room. Leaving it in Bucky's room wasn't an accident, in fact, you made it on purpose as you expected to stay another night in his bedroom. But you didn't dare say anything about it. "Thank you, Bucky."
Another day, not another slay, you were tired.
The plush did help you sleep but you would have slept so much better with Bucky close to you. You walked towards the kitchen, where you heard Bucky and Steve talking with Dr Banner. A soft grumble cane from you, it was too early in the morning and your social battery wasn't fully charged yet.
You did not approach them, instead, you kept your distance, standing at the entrance of the kitchen. Your eyes never left Bucky. There was this craving that you had, one that told you to get closer to Bucky and nuzzle with him, hug him, relax against him, but again, Bruce was there.
Bucky could feel your eyes digging holes in his head, he tried not to pay much mind at first, but then it just became kind of uncomfortable. With a sigh he stood up from his chair, excusing himself with Steve and Bruce, and made his way to you. “Hey sweetheart, need anything?” he asked with a gentle smile.
Your eyes shifted back to Steve and Bruce who were now staring at you, Steve waved at you and Bruce did too. “Hi Y/n!” he saluted, to which you just answered with a quick nod before focusing back on Bucky.
“Room. Please.” Bucky understood your petition and followed you to your bedroom.
Once behind closed doors, you faced him without saying a word and without moving not even one muscle, your eyes locked with his, as if with just one look in your eyes he’d know what you deeply need.
The blue eyed man, confused, raised an eyebrow. His eyes moved down to your hands that were in a fist, then he noticed your tense shoulders, and finally, your eyes filled with need but not a sexual need.
The corner of his lips curled into a smirk and he opened his arms wide. “Hug?”
You nodded. “Please.” He approached you and hugged you tightly, his arms wrapped firmly around you, giving you that warmth and affection you deserved to feel in your heart. Your arms wrapped around his waist, bringing him closer as you rested your chin on his shoulder. “Hmm, I like this, I like your hugs.”
Bucky hummed in approval. “Mhm, yes baby I know. I like giving you hugs.”
The door of your bedroom opened with a loud slam against the wall, and the sense of peace you once had was quickly replaced with annoyance and the need to break someone’s wrists.
“Guys, we have a mission,” informed Clint before leaving in a rush.
You buried your face on the crook of Bucky’s neck, whining before saying, “I don’t wanna go.” If Clint was the one to say there was a mission, it definitely meant the whole team would go, sometimes it would be Natasha and only two or three other members would come but nothing more.
“I know, love, but we have to. Let’s deal with this quickly so we can go back home and cuddle in bed, yes?”
“Mhm.”
The plane wasn’t quiet, obviously. Already that Tony wouldn’t stop talking through the radio and Clint wouldn’t stop saying some snarky remark of any sort, the commands of Natasha and anxious words of Bruce were adding to your own stress and annoyance. It was obvious all over your frowning face and gloomy aura, scary.
Bucky was also quiet by your side, he wasn’t a big fan of going together all in a team, he’d rather be with you and Steve only. But both of you couldn’t be the grumpies together, so one had to be the sunshine, him. “Come on love, fix that frown of yours,” whispered Bucky to your ear, but Clint heard it and walked close to you two.
“Yes Y/n, cheer up a little,” he said as he put his hand on your shoulder.
The unauthorized physical contact was the last straw for you and with a quick movement, your prosthetic hand went to grab Clint’s hand and twisted it with his arm, threatening to dislocate it.
“Hey! Hey! Hey! I got it, I got it!” You released his arm with a grumble. “Jesus Y/n.”
The blonde man walked back to his seat, and Bucky had a low smirk playing on his lips.
“Jesus, Y/n,” he parroted as his head went to rest on your shoulder.
“He can be annoying,” you whispered, not wanting anyone else but your partner to hear your words. Bucky hummed, agreeing with you. “Want this mission to end already.”
“Me too, babe.”
“Why can Bucky touch you without risking his neck but I almost lose my arm?” asked Clint from his seat, his dignity hurt as he saw how comfortable Bucky was with you. You threw Clint a dead glare but didn’t answer him, you didn’t feel like it, and you would never feel like talking to anyone but Bucky and Steve.
Bucky sighed. “I have a privilege unlike you, deal with it.” With that said, he nuzzled closer to you.
You finished with the last target, disarming them and destroying their weapons. Your partner wasn’t far away from you, also doing his own tasks, dealing with his own problems. Bucky looked so fine when fighting bad guys.
Your eyes followed his every movement, the way he fought was precise, no punch went wasted, that’s how Hydra trained you both. Memories of that dark and undesirable past came back to your mind. And yes, you needed a hug from the only person that understands your pain.
So you did the same once again, and stood still, staring at Bucky who had just finished dealing with his targets. You waited, hoping he’d understand you and give you one of hugs that could heal you.
Bucky reloaded his gun and walked past you, not noticing your indirect message. “Oof, let’s go tell the others this side is clear, the communicator is broken.” You followed him, a little disappointed that you didn’t get that hug.
“Yes, sure babe.”
Night came, and you decided you were going to stay at Bucky’s bedroom. Bucky didn’t mind, he’d never complain because he also craves having you with him.
But of course, you had to do your little ranting while holding your dino plush before going to sleep.
“What if the sun was blue? I bet it wouldn’t heat the same as right now, but can you imagine? A blue sun, so pretty. Oh! Oh! A purple sun and a blue moon… that would be very pretty, don’t you think so babe?”
Bucky had his face buried in the crook of your neck, so close to falling asleep, his eyelids felt so heavy. “Mhm…” he grunted.
Silence took over the room, and Bucky felt at peace thinking that you finally fell asleep.
“What if space was actually white…?”
“Ungh…”
Sleeping was definitely not a privilege with you.
______________________
I never thought I'd live to see the day I finally finish answering this request.
GOD.
Really couldn't find many ideas for this request, therefore it took more time for me to finish this request. I tried my best to not make it so short, but it just wasn't working, so I tried to make it as if it was a slice of life.
Yeah I getcha. I was once like you. Pure and naive. Great news. I AM STILL PURE AND NAIVE, GAME DEV IS FUN! But where to start?
To start, here are a couple of entry level softwares you can use! source: I just made a game called In Stars and Time and people are asking me how to start making vidy gaems. Now, without further ado:
SOFTWARES AND ENGINES FOR PEOPLE WHO DON'T KNOW HOW TO CODE!!!
Ren'py (and also a link to it if you click here do it):
THE visual novel software. Comic artists, look no further
✨Pros: It's free! It's simple! It has great documentation! It has a bunch of plugins and UI stuff and assets for you to buy! It can be used even if you have LITERALLY no programming experience! (You'll just need to read the doc a bunch) You can also port your game to a BUNCH of consoles!
✨Cons: None really <3
Some games to look at: Doki Doki Literature Club, Bad End Theater, Butterfly Soup
Twine:
Great for text-based games! GREAT FOR WRITERS WHO DONT WANNA DRAW!!!!!!!!! (but you can draw if you want)
✨Pros: It's free! It's simple! It's versatile! It has great documentation! It can be used even if you have LITERALLY no programming experience! (You'll just need to read the doc a bunch)
✨Cons: You can add pictures, but it's a pain.
Some games to look at: The Uncle Who Works For Nintendo, Queers In love At The End of The World, Escape Velocity
Bitsy:
Little topdown games!
✨Pros: It's free! It's simple! It's (somewhat) intuitive! It has great documentation! It can be used even if you have LITERALLY no programming experience! You can make everything in it, from text to sprites to code! Those games sure are small!
✨Cons: Those games sure are small. This is to make THE simplest game. Barely any animation for your sprites, can barely fit a line of text in there. But honestly, the restrictions are refreshing!
Some games to look at: honestly I haven't played that many bitsy games because i am a fake gamer. The picture above is from Under A Star Called Sun though and that looks so pretty
RPGMaker:
To make RPGs! LIKE ME!!!!!
NOTE: I recommend getting the latest version if you can, but all have their pros and cons. You can get a better idea by looking at this post.
✨Pros: Literally everything you need to make an RPG. Has a tutorial inside the software itself that will teach you the basics. Pretty simple to understand, even if you have no coding experience! Also I made a post helping you out with RPGMaker right here!
✨Cons: Some stuff can be hard to figure out. Also, the latest version is expensive. Get it on sale!
Some games to look at: Ib, Hylics, In Stars and Time (hehe. I made it)
engine.lol:
collage worlds! it is relatively new so I don't know much about it, but it seems fascinating. picture is from Garden!
NOTE: There's a bunch of smaller engines to find out there. Just yesterday I found out there's an Idle Game Maker made by the Cookie Clicker creator. Isn't life wonderful?
✨more advice under the cut. this is Long ok✨
ENGINES I KNOW NOTHING ABOUT AND THEY SEEM HARD BUT ALSO GIVE IT A TRY I GUESS!!!! :
Unity and Unreal: I don't know anything about those! That looks hard to learn! But indie devs use them! It seems expensive! Follow your dreams though! Don't ask me how!
GameMaker: Wuh I just don't know anything about it either! I just know it's now free if your game is non-commercial (aka, you're not selling it), and Undertale was made on it! It seems good! You probably need some coding experience though!!!
Godot: Man I know even less about this one. Heard good things though!
BUNCHA RANDOM ADVICE!!!!
-Make something small first! Try making simple: a character is in a room, and exits the room. The character can look around, decide to take an item with them, can leave, and maybe the door is locked and you have to find the key. Figuring out how to code something like that, whether it is as a fully text-based game or as an RPGMaker map, should be a good start to figure out how your software of choice works!
-After that, if you have an idea, try first to make the simplest version of that idea. For my timeloop RPG, my simplest version was two rooms: first room you can walk in, second room with the King, where a cutscene automatically plays and the battle starts, you immediately die, and loop back to the first room, with the text from this point on reflecting this change. I think I also added a loop counter. This helped me figure out the most important thing: Can This Game Be Made? After that, the rest is just fun stuff.
So if you want to make a dating sim, try and figure out how to add choices, and how to have affection points go up and down depending on your choices! If you want to make a platformer, figure out how to make your character move and jump and how to create a simple level! If you just want to make a kinetic visual novel with no choices, figure out how to add text, and how to add portraits! You'll be surprised at how powerful you'll feel after having figured even those simple things out.
-If you have a programming problem or just get confused, never underestimate the power of asking Google! You most likely won't be the only person asking this question, and you will learn some useful tips! If you are powerful enough, you can even… Ask people??? On forums??? Not me though.
-Yeah I know you probably want to make Your Big Idea RIGHT NOW but please. Make a smaller prototype first. You need to get that experience. Trust me.
-If you are not a womanthing of many skills like me, you might realize you need help. Maybe you need an artist, or a programmer. So! Game jams on itch.io are a great way to get to work and meet other game devs that have different strengths! Or ask around! Maybe your artist friend secretly always wanted to draw for a game. Ask! Collaborate! Have fun!!!
I hope that was useful! If it was. Maybe. You'd like to buy me a coffee. Or maybe you could check out my comics and games. Or just my new critically acclaimed game In Stars and Time. If you want. Ok bye
Seriously cannot recommend GBStudio enough for beginners, it makes making a gb/gbc game pretty simple, it's also FOSS (free, open source software) and the devs in my experience are very responsive as is the community
A quick and easy to use drag and drop retro game creator for your favourite handheld video game system.
Worth noting that ren'py and gb studio will happily let you add whatever ridiculous code you want on top of their frameworks. GB Studio will straight up dump the entire engine as a CMake project if you want to work in assembler or C, so if you don't like the way something works you can change it.
A while ago, I made a doc filled with pretty much evwry cheap and free resource I could find for game dev, and Im still working on it. Highly reccommend checking it out.
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Something everyone should know either as an authority or as a person labouring under an authority, being anywhere from a babysitter to a parent to a government entity, is that establishing a rule of any kind is incredibly labour-intensive and difficult to enforce.
So if you're going to make something into a rule, it HAS to be something you can both Verify and Enforce- if you can Verify but not Enforce, it's essentially just a suggestion. If it's something you can Enforce but not Verify, you're going to waste a lot of energy and time becoming an authoritarian dictator that nobody likes.
And because the process of Verification and Enforcement BOTH take a LOT of work, it makes no sense to waste all that work on establishing a Rule which has no Function.
For this reason, every Rule you set must perform a Function which gives you a return that is, if not greater, then at least EQUAL to the energy it takes to maintain, in one way or another. Otherwise, the whole system collapses.
Any authority that exists has limited time and limited resources, so it must prioritize rules that minimize the MOST HARM, that are EASIEST TO VERIFY, and are MOST ENFORCEABLE.
So, before you CREATE a rule, you must ask yourself:
What does this rule accomplish?
Is the reward of this rule greater than the expense of establishing it?
Can I verify when this rule has been violated?
Can I feasibly discipline one to violates this rule?
And, what I would argue is almost MOST important after all that,
5. How do I explain this rule in a way that people will want to follow it?
As a parent, for example, "do not set a campfire in the living room" is a good rule, because it is easily explained as a risk to personal safety and property, it's a rare enough situation to come up, it's easy to tell when it's happened, and a consequence like "you will not be left unsupervised for an extended period of time" or "you will write a report on house fires" could be implemented as discipline.
But as a parent, "no eating outside of meal times" is not a great rule in most circumstances. For one, food is easy to access, the harm that can come from snacking between meals is almost zero, it's almost impossible to prove, and there is no feasible way to stop someone from doing it OR make them WANT to follow it without lowering yourself to abuse.
So, if there is a behaviour an authority wants you to follow, it must first ask itself Why. Then decide if that is reasonable. Then decide if it should be a Rule or a Suggestion.
If the desired rule is not verifiable, or enforceable, then the authority must make peace with the fact that it will be taken as a suggestion. It has no other choice but to become an enemy, and slowly lose all respect and credibility.
You cannot make "no snacking" into a rule. But you CAN say, "this is how you keep a balanced diet, this is how you stay healthy, please don't take more than you'll eat at dinner, save leftovers for later".
You CAN make "no fire pits indoors" into a rule, and you can remain vigilant that it doesn't happen and give it your full focus when it does.
This is where laws based on social or religious judgement fail.
You cannot Verify or Enforce against drugs, crossdressing, homosexuality, sodomy, satanism, tattoos, prostitution, oral sex, or abortion. Not in any way that matters. Not in any way that Protects more than it Harms. It's difficult to prove, difficult to enforce, and it happens too much and too consensually to universally oppose. You can only expend energy and cultivate a population that distrusts you in trying.
You CAN Verify and Enforce against violence, abuse, theft, fraud, embezzlement, discrimination, and murder. Because it DOES Protect more than it Harms, and you can justify the expenses. Because these are things that happen nonconsentually, and can be prioritized, because there are Victims who experience Harm. Enforcing these rules can cultivate safety and trust instead of suspicion, cooperation instead of opposition within a populace.
Which is why laws against anything that does not cause harm, in my opinion, is doomed.
Because I've been raised and raised kids and seen kids raised in both ways, and I know that "because I said so" does nothing.
If you cannot Verify or Enforce, then the best you can do is Educate, provide safe options, and build a system to heal and recover for any potential fallout.
Touching on unenforceable rules cause this realization helped me understand authority better: the point of a rule like 'no snacking outside meal times' is often not for the rule to be followed, but for it to instill self-surveillance. The fact that authority figures aren't going to be there to enforce a rule means the consequences of breaking it will be unpredictable but never entirely out of mind -- the POINT is to teach respect [read: passivity and submission] for authority by forcing them into a double-bind where they have to enforce the rule on themselves to avoid unpredictable consequences.
It's true in socially conservative parenting but maps to other authoritarian systems as well: think about how anti-trans laws rolled out in Texas. It's wildly unenforceable AND unverifiable to police people on whether they allow their kids to be trans or not, but the impractical nature of the law enhances its coercive impact because the implication of a law fueled by moral panic but with no enforcement mechanism is *well, guess ya just gotta enforce it on your neighbors.* It's easy enough to figure out the cops aren't able to verify or enforce that, but like clockwork bigoted community members stepped up to turn in their neighbors so the law would 'work' - because those folks implicitly understood that when authority figures make unenforceable rules they mean you should live in terror.
Something everyone should know either as an authority or as a person labouring under an authority, being anywhere from a babysitter to a parent to a government entity, is that establishing a rule of any kind is incredibly labour-intensive and difficult to enforce.
So if you're going to make something into a rule, it HAS to be something you can both Verify and Enforce- if you can Verify but not Enforce, it's essentially just a suggestion. If it's something you can Enforce but not Verify, you're going to waste a lot of energy and time becoming an authoritarian dictator that nobody likes.
And because the process of Verification and Enforcement BOTH take a LOT of work, it makes no sense to waste all that work on establishing a Rule which has no Function.
For this reason, every Rule you set must perform a Function which gives you a return that is, if not greater, then at least EQUAL to the energy it takes to maintain, in one way or another. Otherwise, the whole system collapses.
Any authority that exists has limited time and limited resources, so it must prioritize rules that minimize the MOST HARM, that are EASIEST TO VERIFY, and are MOST ENFORCEABLE.
So, before you CREATE a rule, you must ask yourself:
What does this rule accomplish?
Is the reward of this rule greater than the expense of establishing it?
Can I verify when this rule has been violated?
Can I feasibly discipline one to violates this rule?
And, what I would argue is almost MOST important after all that,
5. How do I explain this rule in a way that people will want to follow it?
As a parent, for example, "do not set a campfire in the living room" is a good rule, because it is easily explained as a risk to personal safety and property, it's a rare enough situation to come up, it's easy to tell when it's happened, and a consequence like "you will not be left unsupervised for an extended period of time" or "you will write a report on house fires" could be implemented as discipline.
But as a parent, "no eating outside of meal times" is not a great rule in most circumstances. For one, food is easy to access, the harm that can come from snacking between meals is almost zero, it's almost impossible to prove, and there is no feasible way to stop someone from doing it OR make them WANT to follow it without lowering yourself to abuse.
So, if there is a behaviour an authority wants you to follow, it must first ask itself Why. Then decide if that is reasonable. Then decide if it should be a Rule or a Suggestion.
If the desired rule is not verifiable, or enforceable, then the authority must make peace with the fact that it will be taken as a suggestion. It has no other choice but to become an enemy, and slowly lose all respect and credibility.
You cannot make "no snacking" into a rule. But you CAN say, "this is how you keep a balanced diet, this is how you stay healthy, please don't take more than you'll eat at dinner, save leftovers for later".
You CAN make "no fire pits indoors" into a rule, and you can remain vigilant that it doesn't happen and give it your full focus when it does.
This is where laws based on social or religious judgement fail.
You cannot Verify or Enforce against drugs, crossdressing, homosexuality, sodomy, satanism, tattoos, prostitution, oral sex, or abortion. Not in any way that matters. Not in any way that Protects more than it Harms. It's difficult to prove, difficult to enforce, and it happens too much and too consensually to universally oppose. You can only expend energy and cultivate a population that distrusts you in trying.
You CAN Verify and Enforce against violence, abuse, theft, fraud, embezzlement, discrimination, and murder. Because it DOES Protect more than it Harms, and you can justify the expenses. Because these are things that happen nonconsentually, and can be prioritized, because there are Victims who experience Harm. Enforcing these rules can cultivate safety and trust instead of suspicion, cooperation instead of opposition within a populace.
Which is why laws against anything that does not cause harm, in my opinion, is doomed.
Because I've been raised and raised kids and seen kids raised in both ways, and I know that "because I said so" does nothing.
If you cannot Verify or Enforce, then the best you can do is Educate, provide safe options, and build a system to heal and recover for any potential fallout.
Like. I’ve never been to college for this, I’ve never studied social engineering or criminal Justice, but in my experience working with children and doing private security everything I’ve experienced has taught me
It doesn't "work" in the sense of stopping those behaviors on the whole BUT it does work if your goal is to promote fear, bigotry, and cruelty. For most authoritarian regimes it's the environment, the atmosphere that they really want to change so THEIR behaviors can proceed unchecked. It all depends on your goal. For 45 I think he's getting exactly what he wants out of this. For someone like Ted Cruz or my bio-dad I think they'll never get what they want and they will never understand why.
Some parents think somehow it's possible to control all behaviors AND have a healthy relationship with their children. I grew up with a cruel parent who did want to stop the behaviors he didn't like, but he also wanted to be universally loved. He didn't understand why his actions had consequences that promoted fear, bullying, and cruelty between siblings and extreme fear towards him. It infuriated him and he would just double down every time with more rules and then try to recruit us to police each other. It was a pattern of berate>spank/punish>force you to hug him. Truly wild.
Some people get used to the internalized authoritarianism really early and find it comforting later. Not because it "works".
i saw a man at work the other day wearing a shirt that said "i was normal 2 pomeranians ago" with pictures of his pomeranians on it. important to note he had his pomeranians in his cart
Every time someone makes an artist's rendition of a weird little guy they saw in public instead of recording them without consent, an angel gets it's wings.
I want to be very clear on this. You can be out drinking with your friends on Friday night and dead on Sunday because of meningitis. Does that sound a little specific? Guess why I have such a specific scenario in mind.
And getting vaccinated is an easy way to prevent that. There is no medical reason to stop recommending that vaccine. There's no new study that shows that it's unsafe, there's no replacement that's better. This is literally the government making its citizenry less safe for no reason.
I still up this vaccine regularly because I remember learning about it during my college application process. Meningitis can kill in 6 hours. Rabies may be a death sentence, but meningitis is a death by infection speed run. It is curable, but you need to get treatment FAST ENOUGH to survive. And even if you survive? You risk brain damage. And the vast majority of brain damage is permanent. The brain does not heal the way other parts of the body can. That’s why the blood brain barrier exists—to protect an extremely delicate part of the body where damage can quickly and easily become EXTREMELY permanent.
So. Here’s the question that haunts me re: meningitis: How bad does the headache have to be before you go to the hospital?
I have had some very bad headaches and, as such, do not trust myself to know how bad a headache has to be to rush to the hospital. And with emergency room wait times, I fear that dying in the waiting room while in excruciating pain is only too likely.
I want to be very clear on this. You can be out drinking with your friends on Friday night and dead on Sunday because of meningitis. Does that sound a little specific? Guess why I have such a specific scenario in mind.
And getting vaccinated is an easy way to prevent that. There is no medical reason to stop recommending that vaccine. There's no new study that shows that it's unsafe, there's no replacement that's better. This is literally the government making its citizenry less safe for no reason.
The symptoms of meningitis can be as subtle as muscle aches and neck pain. My mother was going to the chiropractor daily to soothe what she thought was a strained muscle or thrown out back but was instead an infection.
The ONLY reason she is still alive today is because she began suffering the other more noticeable symptoms of fever, nausea, vomiting, and what finally tipped us off, confusion. Confusion as a symptom sounds mild, like a form of memory loss or not understanding if a question is asked of you.
In reality, confusion looks like my mother breaking down crying when presented with a computer screen, knocking over a drink onto her phone, and then crying more when she didn’t know how to fix it. I watched the woman who raised me, the smartest person I know, be reduced to a full grown infant. Scared, angry, in pain.
When I guided her back to bed, she nearly choked on her own vomit. When paramedics came, she was so scared she started throwing punches. It took giving her fucking horse tranquilizer to get her onto the gurney and into the ambulance.
The only reason she survived is because it was the bacterial kind of meningitis, and it is downright miraculous that she suffered no long-lasting consequences, which can range anywhere from hearing loss to brain damage.
The CDC dropping the meningitis vaccine is nothing short of sentencing vulnerable people to death by a preventable disease. They should be ashamed of themselves.
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I want to be very clear on this. You can be out drinking with your friends on Friday night and dead on Sunday because of meningitis. Does that sound a little specific? Guess why I have such a specific scenario in mind.
And getting vaccinated is an easy way to prevent that. There is no medical reason to stop recommending that vaccine. There's no new study that shows that it's unsafe, there's no replacement that's better. This is literally the government making its citizenry less safe for no reason.
In high school, ever fall, like clockwork, there was a news story about local college deaths from meningitis. Then the college started requiring vaccination for admission (rare religious/medical exceptions granted) and guess what yearly news story went away?!
I want to be very clear on this. You can be out drinking with your friends on Friday night and dead on Sunday because of meningitis. Does that sound a little specific? Guess why I have such a specific scenario in mind.
And getting vaccinated is an easy way to prevent that. There is no medical reason to stop recommending that vaccine. There's no new study that shows that it's unsafe, there's no replacement that's better. This is literally the government making its citizenry less safe for no reason.
The meninges, for those who don’t know, are the outer layers that go around your brain and spinal cord, like the skin on a grape. When they become inflamed (the -itis part), they squeeze your brain because the only way for them to expand is inward — the skull prevents them expanding outward.
Meningitis, to be extremely graphic about this, crushes your squishy jelly brain like a grape with a skin that’s suddenly shrunk four sizes too small. It hurts the entire time you’re dying as you experience brain death in inexorable slow motion. It is heartbreaking and horrifying for others to have to witness in real time.
For FUCK’S sake, vaccinate your goddamned goblins.
