All coal comes from before the fungi learned.

*Sprays u with a can of "Serious String"* [you are gently covered by a loose, aerisolized tangle of high-tensile polymer weave]

the youtube notification of ''ooohh your video isn't starting up smoothly???? turn off your ad blocker you cunt <3'' is so pathetic to me bc it takes five seconds max. you think i can't wait five seconds? you think i need to give you money because five seconds is too long? i pity your wife.

my thrall told me it wanted to be more independent so i imprisoned its soul in a necklace. how's that for in de pendant you little shit

it's scary the amount of people who wholeheartedly believe that men and women are fundamentally different creatures

doomscrolling thru the weather app

Oh my god I’m over here thinking its this big hard to explain thing but here you are explaining it perfectly in nine words wtf

Remember that if you want to do more of something, you have to do less of something else. It's that time of year where people set goals for the new year and they have plans and hopes and it's always focusing on what they want to do more of. More studying, more exercise, more crafting, more socialising, more making things from scratch. Okay, great. What are you going to do less of in order to have the time and energy to do more of those things you really want to do?

the thing I love most about how tumblr users use tags is that it’s like what if a social media website had a footnotes system

imagining a universe where porn is a marketable genre so you have to deal with raycon ads while trying to jerk your shit

You’re an easy slut, aren’t you kitten? Almost as easy as dinner with Hellofresh

its gay asf for a man to be a paladin....who are you laying hands on? other men?

hate tweets that are like “men will live in apartments like this and not see any problem” *picture of a poor person’s house*

i was thinking about that tweet when i made this post, thank you

my friend's discord server has a "proof of touch grass" channel where they post pics of them doing regular activities outdoors/in public. i think many online spaces could benefit from such a thing

All clothing is unisex if you stop thinking so hard about it.