they should invent a cigarette that gives you vitamins and hrt and shit

TESTOSTEROEN CIGARETTE BEING SMOKED BY A BUTCH DYKE OUTSIDE THE BAR SHE SHOTGUN THR SMOKE INTO MYMOUTH I GET SO HARD I PASS OUT SMASH MY HEAD AND DIE

sorry that was meant for the tags

it’s okay. You’ve painted a beautiful and true picture

if vampires existed in real life i think there would be shady companies advertising "organic blood" sourced from "willing donors" who are coincidentally all poor people being paid like $5 per blood donation. and like haughty vegan vampires who only drink a synthetic blood drink thats brewed in a way thats actively worse for the enviroment. and radical traditionalist vampires who go on tiktok and claim that true alpha chads have to drain and kill people and anyone who leaves their victims alive is a liberal cuck. enter the world of hypothetical insufferable vampire politics with me.

cis people can reblog this but keep it on subject, please

Happy pride month everyone always remember that the sinkhole has an ecosystem large enough to house not only insects but likely several species of small birds or mammals

good god when the mr clean magic eraser hits the stove......

the panties hit the floor

you know it brother

Cant tell you how many times I rawd*gged my husband after I caught him using a magic eraser to clean the pasta sauce I burned onto the burner like some kind of primordial insect

you know what i wish you would tell me

Hey, pervert question: sex Today

I like to subscribe to subreddits for careers i've never had. Sometimes you just want to know what accountants are talking about these days

I love it when a researcher from a marginalized group proves an important point.

i love being prevd its like getting a good grade in thoughts

No officer u don’t understand he likes it in there. He wants to be in the trunk of my car. It’s enrichment for him.

my final heated rivalry thought of the night is i do genuinely think it exists in this weird space of requiring you to both be a hockey fan and not know anything about hockey. schrodinger's hockey fan. you need to know about hockey because half the stakes aren't really explained to you at all. see: hockey culture/homophobia. see: the montreal-boston rivalry's unique significance. etc. but you also need to not know anything about hockey because if you do then you look at the long game and go: montreal would not do that. ottawa would also not do that. also why are the 1oa and 2oa going to world juniors twice. why is no one throwing hands at ilya for being that close to their injured captain on the ice.

if I was a professional hockey player you could not media train me enough to keep me from saying "do you wanna see the bruise??" to reporters asking about a hit I took. & then showing it to them

Fun fact: due to the ongoing financial support from the people of tumblr, critically endangered pygmy raccoons being rehabbed in Cozumel are now able to get vaccines for deadly diseases like distemper and rabies before they are released.