hah. legoooooo.

Remember in 2010 when Taio Cruz said "I throw my hands up in the air sometimes"? I appreciated his restraint. You can't just throw your hands up in the air whenever. There's a time and a place, and that time was 2010, and the place was the club.

nice wound. Could use some salt though

Was about to fall asleep and apropos of nothing was struck out of nowhere by a horrible future vision of a brightly-lit and saccharine 3D-AI Calvin and Hobbes movie with Scarlet Johanssen voicing the mom and Chris Pratt voicing Hobbes and experienced an emotional haptic jerk so chilling I feel like I just foresaw my own death

(Drenched in a cold sweat, visibly shaking) We Need To Warn Bill Watterson

oh thank heavens

watching jerma's old stardew valley vids from ten years ago for the first time. this poor guy had like 5 cabbages planted and like 8 string beans on his entire farm. and a meteor hit his farm and obliterated half of his string beans. he attempted to break the meteor with a cherry bomb which only served to destroy 3 of the 4 remaining string beans. he destroyed the remaining string bean in a fit of rage

Bitches wanna buy their boyfriends the latest consoles but when was the last time he CONSOLED you? ps 5 years ago

One time when my dad was in the hospital they were testing his orientation to time and place and said "Okay and what year is it?" and he said "1995" (he had dementia). And the doctor and I unconsciously exchanged a Look because it was in fact uhhh 2024 😐 and dad saw that and so when the next doctor did the test a few hours later he said "uhhhh...nineteen...nintetyyyy.......seven...???" and I was like okay, well, that IS closer, you do have to give him that

#he still knew immediately who I was which was deeply funny to me bc I was 7-8 years old in 1997 #"yes that is my daughter who was apparently born in her 20s"

YOU'RE A REGULAR WRITER! YOU CAN CRAFT A COMPLETE SENTENCE! YOU'RE A REGULAR WRITER! YOU USE THE RIGHT AMOUNT OF COMMAS! YOU'RE A REGULAR WRITER! YOUR PROSE IS GOOD AND RIGHT! YOU'RE A REGULAR WRITER! EVERYONE UNDERSTANDS YOUR VISION!

[Image ID: Tweet from caleb (@/ saintPlush) reading: reading fanfics is so fun i wish romantic attraction was real /End ID]

can't believe the only options are 30 minutes early or 10 minutes late. if only there were some other way. but what can you do