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@aoryuucchi
no like the craziest part about hollanov is that when shane’s situationship of 8 years started crying his first instinct was to crawl in his lap. like what an insane thing to do for someone you don’t know that well. and of course freak4freak ilya eats it up
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save me, rice mixed with some bullshit
taking my gamer dog out for a walkthrough
the first time ilya takes shane to the club after they get married, he shaves beforehand, puts on a tight black tank top and sprays himself with his fuckboy cologne from the hookup era. shane is already horny for him even before they leave the house — crucially, he loves fuckboy ilya, because come on, he’s been fucking this man for years when he looked exactly like this.
at the club, ilya buys out the entire dj set to only play 2010s club anthems all night long. he wants to give shane the ultimate 2010s clubbing experience he never had, but also make up for all those nights ilya had to spend dancing and making out with strangers and not the one person he wanted. but now he gets to do all this with his husband! who is delightfully hard for him by the way, because shane finds sleazy club slut ilya absolutely irresistible. ilya is gripping his hips, grinding against him, licking his neck and whispering the dirtiest filth into his ear, and shane gets dizzying butterflies he imagines all those girls got back then. and he isn’t even retroactively jealous, because now his ring is on ilya’s finger, and oh god, he gets to be taken home by ilya rozanov! he gets to have all his attention now and get railed stupid by him later!! in their shared home!!! shane is living his dream life, and ilya is right there with him.
Personally I do think that sometimes non-hockey fans can end up mischaracterizing Shane and Ilya because they don't know enough about hockey/hockey playstyles
The Ilya we see in Heated rivalry would not be throwing the first punch, he's not an enforcer. Ilya is a star center and a Pest. He wouldn't be doing his job correctly if he was punching players every other game, it would end up with not enough ice time to let him be the playmaker he's paid to be.
But being a pest can be playmaking! Find a player to bait, emotionally push them just enough that they try to fight you, and then get the fuck out of there before the ref gives you both penalties. This gets your team the power play. There is probably someone on Ilya's line dedicated to helping him get out of the fights he starts, and finishing them for him!
I also think this is also something that Shane would respect. Ilya is good at it and it's a good strategy for his team. I don't think Shane would see it as some dirty tactic, because Shane probably thinks everyone with a brain can see it for what it is! He probably thinks everyone should be able to see that being an asshole is a tactic for Ilya, that it's something to ignore and not fall for, that it's a strategy and not personal beef.
I think Shane's more disappointed when a Metro falls for it. Shane sees it as Ilya set up a Looney Toons ass obvious trap and one of his teammates ran into it. Why be mad at Bugs Bunny when you can be mad at your defenceman for falling for a fucking Bugs Bunny trap.
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— giving your 8-year situationship tender kisses in your private cottage while his horny ass has his hand knee-deep down your shorts >>>>
the thing about misogyny is that femininity is both devalued AND forced on women (and those misgendered as women). if you fail to meet the arbitrary standard of Womanly Charm you're ugly and unwanted and hate yourself and if you succeed you're shallow and brainless and weak. if you don't try to conform you're lazy and if you do you're vain. it is not possible to beat this system. feminism needs both "feminine doesn't mean weak or less-than" AND "women don't have to be feminine to have value", and if you are fighting for one of these the people fighting for the other are not your enemies, nor are they privileged over you.
this post is inclusive of trans people, including but not limited to trans women and transfeminine people. exclusionary sentiment is not welcome.
The apple they fed to snow white wasnt poision at all it was just a red delicious
Camilla Hect I'm free whenever you are free
I just ate one
You can lie when you name things
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cant afford the merch so i drew them wearing it instead
AU where Shane and Ilya don't hook up or have a decades-long secret. They don't really know each other at all, except to play each other.
Shane comes out of the closet sometime after Scott does, and in some random, lighthearted interview, they ask him what he's looking for in a man. And Shane's just, off-hand like, "Well, he'd have to have at least one Stanley Cup. Obviously." And when he gets a good reaction from that, he keeps going, like "Needs to be amazing at hockey. Definitely needs to be at least an All-Star, if not a captain. Hot too. If he can't bench-press me, I'm not interested."
And it's all in fun, except two days after the interview prints, Ilya Rozanov shows up at his door like "knock, knock. I am here to apply for boyfriend position. Do you need resume? I brought my Stanley Cup ring, just in case."
functionally suicidal character saying “I would die for you” to their significant other and its like. I get the sentiment, honey, but if a hot dog vendor told me he’d sell hot dogs for me, I wouldn’t feel very moved now would I
resurrected dead wife watching her own montage: wow I looked so hot in that
"You will often be subjected to uncomfortable situations in public and you should learn to navigate that" and "if you play your music out loud in a public hike then the other hikers should be allowed to hunt you for sport" are two sentiments that can and should co-exist
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I just felt someone Z-target me
[clearly circle-strafing you] don't be ridiculous
you are fifteen thousand generations removed from stone tools
to be clear you are fifteen thousand generations removed from the invention of stone tools. not from the end of stone tools. modern humans are still using stone tools.
Flawless tags, @baddywronglegs
I thought you meant we were descendents -of- stone tools
your father was a handaxe and your mother smelt of microliths
