InsomniaSketches

talking like point-and-click game narration to the bugs in my room

you can't get out that way!

that's not very helpful.

maybe the open window will help.

try the open window instead.

stockholm syndrome doesn't exist, except for when you start liking some of the songs that play on your work radio that you would never put in your casual playlists

americans are sooo desensitized to guns and sometimes it manifests in ways that affect your media literacy. like remember in the first episode of sherlock when john watson opens up his drawer and you see a gun in there and youre supposed to understand that this is narratively significant and conveys his suicidality as well as his willingness to skirt rules and laws but the first time i watched it i was like oh well theres his desk gun. lots of people have those

omg now i’m like. what does this make frodo by hobbit standards

by hobbit standards, I’m afraid Frodo is probably. not conventionally attractive at all.

Frodo is the sexiest hobbit by elf standards

Every day, against my will, the LOTR fandom makes posts.

They should make hollow, fragile sugar candies exactly the size and shape of a lightbulb to safely satisfy the body’s natural need to eat lightbulbs whole

in law school, my mom took me to this stress retreat because my family was vaguely aware i was a suicide risk. and they didnt allow phones, so i brought this huge bag of books. and one of the options for "destressing" was this fake cave grotto thing, where they'd decorated a room to make it look exactly like an underground cave and the air was like -10 degrees, but there was a like 4ft deep pool in the middle that was kept super super hot, so you would just switch between the hot and cold. and they would bring you an endless supply of this weird syrupy drink thing that was like super caffeinated and tasted like sugar and mint. and so i spent multiple days sitting half submerged in this fake grotto drinking mystery liquid and reading. and i have to be honest i really did feel less stressed

everyone who is not currently in the process of moving please pause and take a moment to be grateful that you're not currently in the process of moving

image description: tweet by olayemi olurin @/msolurin, reading: There's no high like making a successful hail mary argument. A prosecutor once asked for bail on my client because he had like 63 convictions and I was like judge... 63 convictions sounds like a man who showed up to court at least 63 times. And the judge was like yea you right /end description