give me a br8k

inside your body is PITCH BLACK your cells do all of that in the DARK

self care is swallowing lit matches every 5 minutes so that ur cells can see whatever the fuck they’re doing in there

"Kill them with kindness" Nah, fuck that, CRICKET BAT 🏏 🏏🏏🏏*SMACK* 🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏*SMACK*🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏*SMACK*🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏*SMACK*🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏*SMACK*🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏*SMACK*🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏

This opens up a lot of possibilities for what a haiku can be

I need something pornographic to happen to me soon

being able to go to work with hickeys and bite marks on your neck is a human right.

for ten years there were letsplayers who would record video content of themselves playing videogames and edit it down into 10-20 minute videos which they would post on youtube and other video hosting websites, but mostly youtube. now we only wake up in a desecrated field choked with a miasmatic fog and columns of graves that stretches beyond the horizon

that was everything I was hoping it would be. marvelous

I love this because you know exactly where it's going and you're not disappointed

I was so looking forward for the Jupiter gravity and it didn't disappoint and THEN THE SUN GRAVITY MADE ME HOLLER

i think you could reach escape velocity on pluto by just jumping really hard

THWE DRAMATIC PAUSE IN THE SUN GRAVITY HAD ME

Wtf????

Smoove with it too 

This is the kind of shit you see in anime that shows that a certain character is stronger than other characters. 

“Pathetic.  You can’t even hold the bat you dare step to the plate? Have you no respect for the sport?”

Baseball players are to be feared

Reblogging for the last one

^Same for me

They just kept getting progressively more “woah”

much woah

Oh my god this is a lucky universe

every time this post comes around, my favorite part is the “I know it’s the Mets” qualifier at the beginning lmao like how baseball that this zillion note posts starts with “sorry for putting this hellteam on your dash, bUT”

Some of y'all need to understand this isn't about blowing up countries with the giant red button, it's about abolishing tyrannical and oppressive governments that go by the names of the land they hold hostage.

the unimaginable power of saying "huh, guess that's not for me" and moving on with your life

going with the flow in a face down in a river kinda way

Casting lightning magic alone in the parking lot

Cops are here.

Casting lightning magic alone in the parking lot