A Lonely Writer

Pairing(s): Sam Winchester x fem!reader, Dean Winchester x fem!reader

Warning(s): mentions of cheating, lowkey betrayel, both angst and fluff

Word Count: 1,277

It’s been almost a year, and I’m so sorry y’all. I completely forgot I was sitting on this. To make it worse, this is the last part. I didn’t even realize I hadn’t published it until I was looking back at it today. I hope it was worth the wait.

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“What are you talking about?” you asked. Dean looked startled by his own words, but he seemed to own up to it.

“Sam knew that I was still cheating.” Dean looked right into your eyes as he spoke, and your chest tightened. Sam was stiff and hadn’t looked at you during the exchange.

“Sam, is this true?” you asked, praying he would deny it, that this could all be dismissed as a misunderstanding, or a lie to place some of the blame on another.

“I didn’t know for sure. I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt.” Sam looked at you as he spoke this time. His eyes were sad, and you could see his shame.

You were in shock. Even a suspicion should have been voiced to you, why would he keep it to himself? It was your business after all, your relationship.

You couldn’t look at Dean or Sam right now, it felt like your life had come crashing down. The brothers were watching you as you fought internally with yourself, and you couldn’t stand the feeling of their eyes on you.

“I need time to think right now, I’m going to take a walk.” You walked past the brothers in the doorway, grateful that they moved aside and let you go. You couldn’t handle your emotions and Sam’s kicked puppy expression at the same time.

You walked until you got to the motel vending machine. Your breakfast had been interrupted and some chocolate donuts would hit the spot. After getting your snack and getting comfortable on the floor, you became lost in thought. You knew it was over between you and Dean, but now you knew Sam had some kind of involvement.

You began heading back to your motel room, unsure of yourself but knowing you needed to talk it out. When your room came into view, you saw that Dean was still there but was leaving. You walked faster without thinking, eventually jogging to get to him faster.

"Dean, wait!" you yelled, waving your arm. He noticed you and got out of his car. Your mind finally caught up to your body and realized what you were doing.

What were you doing?

"Don't worry, I'll be out of your hair soon." He looked you in the eyes as he spoke, his face tight.

"Can we talk first?" You asked, clearly catching him by surprise. "Before you go, I want to finish our conversation."

You took a deep breath. "I ended the conversation myself, but I know that if I don't continue it I'll regret it." His eyes looked hopeful at your words, and you felt bad seeing his face brighten.

"Our relationship is still over, but there's more to it than just that." You tried to clarify without hurting him too much. His eyes lost their light again but he nodded.

You looked down, shifting your weight. "Dean, I need to know..why." He sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

"I'm a dumbass, that's why," he said harshly, more to himself than to you. "I'd get caught in the moment and forget that I had someone at home, someone who wanted to be with me for more than one night." His voice wavered and he rubbed his face. "You deserve better than me."

You shook your head. "Honestly I do, but you deserve better too. You need to let yourself be happy, Dean." You put a hand on his shoulder. "Look at me." You waited for him to listen before you continued. "It may be over between us, but you can still find love. You deserve love."

His eyes watered and he pulled you into a hug. At first you were stiff, but you let him have his moment. For a minute there was no tension between the two of you, just a pair of friends who had lost their way. He pulled away and looked you in the eyes. "Thank you. You're the sweetest person I ever met." He straightened his jacket, giving you a small smile. "I'll remember you."

He got into the impala and started the ignition. Before he drove off he rolled down his window. "Treat Sammy well." He smirked, rolling up the window and driving away. You watched him disappear down the road and couldn't help smiling. You hoped he'd find happiness wherever he went.

You turned to the motel door behind you and your smile disappeared. Now you'd have to deal with Sam, and for some reason that made you more nervous than talking to Dean. You weren't sure whether to knock or walk in, but it was your motel room too, so you figured walking in would be appropriate. When you walked in you found Sam packing his things.

"Where are you going?" you asked. The fear in your voice surprised you. He stopped packing and looked at you.

"I'm going to give you some space. I betrayed your trust and I don't want to make it any worse." He continued packing while you tried to find the words you needed. What did you need right now? You knew there were budding feelings for Sam, but those were overshadowed by his admission earlier. Remembering earlier brought a fire in your heart and you found words easily.

"Can you at least explain what happened before disappearing?" You said, sounding harsher than you'd wanted.

He stopped moving but didn’t look at you. Was he ashamed?

“Dean was being suspicious, sneaking out and staying out late. On our hunts he would disappear for entire nights sometimes.” He sighed. “At first he had excuses. He was preparing a surprise for you, or he had a lead. Sometimes they’d be true but other times he didn’t even remember lying to me.” His voice shook and when he looked at you his anger was barely concealed.

“How long has it been going on?” you asked though you didn’t really want the answer. The silence after your question felt like it was strangling you. All you could think of were all the reasons he might be hesitating.

“A few months I think,” he mumbled. You gasped, and the sound made him flinch. “I never knew for sure; I didn’t want to tell you and have it be a misunderstanding.” He looked like he wanted to punch himself. You knew he only wanted the best for you, but it still hurt. You felt like a fool. Sam was right not to tell you though, if he had been wrong the results would have been catastrophic. Dean should have been the one to confess. It was his cross to bear.

You sat next to Sam’s duffel bag, looking at the floor. Feeling the bed dip, you looked up and saw Sam sitting beside you. His hand was beside him and you decided to take the initiative. When your hands touched he jumped and you giggled. He looked at you with a nervous yet warm smile.

“It’s not your fault Sam. Dean’s the one who made the mistake.” You took a deep breath, looking away from him. “It’ll take me awhile to heal from this, but will you be with me when I do?”

His silence scared you again, but when you turned to face him you were met with his lips. The kiss was soft, it felt like the world was just the two of you. “I’ll be here, no matter how long it takes,” he said as he pulled away. You smiled and hugged him tightly. You knew that you’d have him by your side to fight anything that came your way, and right now that was all that mattered.

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