This makes me so mad

This is giving me traumatic flashbacks to me taking the LSAT because it’s these sort of linguistic rules that they use to fuck with you

This reminds me of the one where the sentence “I never said she took his money” can mean seven different things depending which word you stress. 

THIS IS ACTUALLY REALLY USEFUL THANK YOU

DEFIANT - RESISTANT DEFINITE - CERTAIN

*slams reblog*

IT’S ‘MIGHT AS WELL’. ‘MIND AS WELL’ DOES NOT MAKE GRAMMATICAL SENSE.

sleight of hand: magic tricks slight of hand: President-Elect

To my followers who speak & write in English as a second language: the caps locks and the frustration might come across as scary or even personally pointed, but all the information is valuable, even (and lbr ESPECIALLY) to native English speakers & writers!

when you’re asking a group of people for approval, you are asking them to say “AYE”, not “I”!! “aye” means yes and you’re looking for confirmation that they agree, not that they exist!!

IT IS “CLOSED-MINDED”, AS IN A MIND THAT IS NOT OPEN. “CLOSE MINDED” WOULD MEAN A MIND THAT IS SOMEWHERE NEARBY.

writing style: author from the 1800s with a severe love of commas whose sentences last half a page 

I came out here, to this point, to this place, hoping against all hope and despite signs and portends suggesting otherwise that I might, somehow, find myself having a pleasant experience, and yet here I stand, alone against the world, feeling assaulted, attacked on all fronts, knowing not my enemy’s name nor his face nor whether our battle is done.

So “my name is Cow… i lik the bred” seems to be the Hot New Meme, and I like it. Here’s an odd thing about it, though; a lot of the cutsey animal talk I see on the internet (especially birb-speak) sometimes reminds me of Middle English, but “lik the bred” takes it even further and sounds downright Chaucerian, and it isn’t just the rhyme and cadence. Some of the “lik the bred” pastiches I see around don’t really work because they’re in just plain doggo-fran speak (haven’t decided if Doggo-fran and Birb are the same thing or not), but the ones that really hit all the same notes as the original have something going on with the mangled vowels and spelling that’s not the same as the mangling in Doggo and/or Birb. Maybe some time I’ll gather up some examples and look closely at the vowels and spelling and try and sort out precisely what’s up.

@hobbitguy1420

my name is Cow i make yu think of likking bred and tayking drink i studdy buks that i have herd so wen yur gon i rite the werd.

now yu may think wen reeding this “yu typ with hoofs, wy dont yu miss?” i ask yu now be pashent, plees i type with tung i lik the kees

Re: the OP - I don’t think Doggo-fran and Birb-speak are the same at all, but it’s tricky to articulate why (probably because I’m not actually a linguist). I think Doggo-fran revolves around intentionally switching out syllables in words (or adding them onto mono-syllabic words) - although actually I’m not sure precisely what @runecestershire is referring to here but the other thing that comes to mind is the ‘bork’ meme speak which revolves mostly around the nonsense sentence structure ‘you are doing me a [verb]’. Both cases seem to me to be a lot more specific in usage than Birb-speak. Birb-speak revolves more around intentionally bad spelling and grammar, often with an overblown sense of urgency to imitate something being typed (and thus spoken) loudly, at high speed and with little accuracy (although there are two slightly different memetic forms of Birb-speak - one originating from the @probirdrights Twitter and the other from the @importantbirds Tumblr and their styles, while similar, are not identical). But the OP is indeed correct that proper-sounding ‘i lik the bred’ poems have a very specific structure and language to them which is distinct again from the other examples.

writing style: author from the 1800s with a severe love of commas whose sentences last half a page 

I came out here, to this point, to this place, hoping against all hope and despite signs and portends suggesting otherwise that I might, somehow, find myself having a pleasant experience, and yet here I stand, alone against the world, feeling assaulted, attacked on all fronts, knowing not my enemy’s name nor his face nor whether our battle is done.

the moral of frankenstein is if youre going to build a monster out of dead body parts dont make him like 8 feet tall and super strong

or just love your super strong 8 feet tall son

Like, don’t abandon him because you are scared of him. Like you met him a second ago. He just wants a family

The moral of the story is that you need to be prepared for the realities of parenthood before you commit. Sometimes you get what you expected, sometimes you get an eight foot tall super strong patchwork zombie child, sometimes you get neither of those things. No take-backs.

EXCELLENT TEACHING METHOD A++++

No proofreading we die like men