I am switching my page over to be more multifandom based and wanted my new intro to reflect that.
Welcome to my blog! My name is Dahlia or Angel.
I use they/them pronouns and any gendered or non gendered descriptors!
My master list !!
My current fandoms are: Redacted Audio, Castle Audios, Dr Who, and BG3!!
My current favorite characters are: David, Anton, and James (Redacted Audio), Claire, Beth, and Evie (Castle Audios), The 11th doctor AKA Matt Smith's doctor, River Song, and Rory Pond (Doctor Who) and Gale, Astarion, and Shadowheart (BG3)!!
Here is my carrd, which includes links to both of my tumblrs, my Ao3, my ToyHouse, and my Instagram!!
I also have a roleplay tumblr!! Itâs @dahlia-of-the-valley !! Check it out and shoot me a dm if you wanna roleplay :):)
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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I just read the words âboyfailure vampire roommateâ in an asmr title and oh my god all I can think about is treasure referring to porter like that when they first met
Hello redactedblr I love and miss you work is kicking my ass and I have been sleeping pretty much the entire time Iâm home (and in the car before my shift starts)
Here are some redacted characters I think would work in a place like my job (rehab/nursing facility) and what they would do there
Lovely would be an activities aid (what I do and know the most about) and would probably work in the long term wards. I see them as a person with a decent amount of patience so maybe theyâd work in the Dementia/Alzheimerâs ward. Vincent meets them for lunch sometimes and they eat in the car together.
Iâm kind of just dipping into my normal Angel headcannons on this one but I think that Angel would work as a social worker. Theyâre a big advocate for all things rights based and they find their job important even though it can be super draining.
I can see Ollie being a CNA, heâs a sweetheart and I just know that he would do his best to make his residents as comfortable possible.
Sweetheart would be a Charge Nurse, because they get shit done when it needs to be done and they donât take shit from anyone. Iâm thinking Dana Evans from The Pitt type shit. Love them.
Honey is a physical therapist, and they swear up and down that theyâre ânot funâ but they always have a patterned scrub top on, with pants that are color coordinated to match.
I think Love is an SLP, a job that most people think is easy (thinking about SLPs that work in schools) but the medical side of an SLPs job is actually very difficult and takes a lot of thought that I think suits love very well. Theyâre calm and collected but personable and nice to talk to, which helps a lot when you have to make residents do tests that are just a little bit longer than they want them to be.
I could think of more but itâs 6:46am and Iâm super tired and probably gonna nap in my car for an hour before I have to walk into the building and clock in so if yâall enjoy this Iâll make more
In case anyone was wondering whether or not I like this job, today I had to call out sick because I havenât been feeling/sleeping well and I realized it was better to take a break today than to keep pushing until I was down for the count. Chronic illness wins again.
Using ai to do redacted fanart is loser behavior. pick up a fucking pen or commission someone. better yet use a picrew and go on Pinterest and find yourself a damn faceclaim. art is a damn privilege. you donât get to use generative ai to steal somebodyâs job and work(because ai feeds off other people work) and on top of that use the fucking water that people need, LOCK INNNNNNN LOSER
As someone who does commissions/trades/requests, PLEASE just look around for people to make your art!! It will be better quality and it doesnât use so much of the resources in the world to make an image that you regenerated five million times.
Hereâs a list of places you can make your OC without using AI (with examples!):
- sims 4/ any of the sims creators (base game is free, and curse forge has plenty of easy to use custom content that is also free!)
- picrew has THOUSANDS of art styles and character creation options (free!)
- photobashing using photos from Pinterest and an art application like Ibis Paint (free), Krita (free), Magma (free AND has a collaborative option), Procreate ($9.99), photoshop ($22.99/month), photopea (free)
- baldurs gate character creation (base game is $59.99 or $69.99 depending on what youâre playing on, modding is free and a lot of them are built in!!)
- tomodachi life ($59.99)
- commissions/trades/requests from artists like me (price ranges from free-expensive depending on the artist)
- cyberpunk 2077 character creation ($59.99 but often has sales)
- dress to impress on roblox (free for base game, 799 robux or roughly $10 for vip)
Thereâs ALWAYS another option that will likely get you a result youâre more happy with than AI could give you. AI takes from existing art and existing characters, wouldnât you rather have something unique that is entirely yours?
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Complaining about the cost of school because Iâm at my wits end with the cost of college right now.
So, I go to a state school for university, which is the cheapest possible option I have for my degree while being able to get out of the horrible housing situation I have for ten months of the year.
After financial aid, I still had to pay $10,000 for one semester. I do not have $10,000 lying around (big surprise, I know).
So, I take out a loan through my school and accept the offer for a federal work study for the on campus job Iâll have next semester. After that, my amount for the semester is taken down to $7,500. I have to pay at least half of the balance ($3,250) or enroll in a payment plan ($1,600/month) by the first of August.
Iâm so angry that itâs just something Iâm supposed to lie down and take?? Like Iâm working full time and cannot afford it NOW, how the hell am I going to afford it when Iâm doing classes and working 10 hours a week??
College is a sham and financial aid fucks you over constantly. I hate it here.
THINGS MY BIRD DOES THAT REMIND ME OF REDACTED CHARACTERS
Gets offended if I sneeze too close in her proximity: Alexis
Has really bad learning ability and took a week to actually realize I had moved the mirror from next to my bed to a new wall (and flew into the wall a bunch): Asher
âPreensâ me by licking and nibbling my ears to try and get any spare wax or shampoo residue off of them while Iâm trying to relax: Hush
Sits on top of the TV whenever itâs on because itâs warm on her little feeties and she likes it (gets scared when it makes noise half the time): Angel
Baits me and my brotherâs bird into thinking sheâs going to be nice until I let her actually go up to him without restraining her and she tries to attack him: Darlinâ
Has no concept of personal space or privacy. Cries if I put her in her cage. Comes right back if I toss her off my bed: Corvus
Has no fear of dogs, cats, or other animals in general. Bites them, in fact: Sweetheart
Pictured above was a photo taken before she decided to press the post button on a tumblr post I had been writing
hello redactedblr I'm writing something tasty right now here's a WIP of it
(reader is Darlin')
Your legs burned with the sensation of soreness as you stood, punching in the code to the back door of the club. The door opened, and you peered into the dressing room. Lit up solely by the lights on the mirrors that the workers used to preen themselves, the light of the room didnât assault your tired eyes.Â
Your usual spot at one of the mirrors was empty and waiting for you to take up its space, and so you did. Your bag hit the floor with a muffled thud, and you stepped up to the mirror next to a woman so beautifully dolled up youâd believe her if she said sheâd just gotten back from a photoshoot with vogue.Â
She met your eyes in the mirrorâs reflection and flashed a smile, âhi, doll,â she mused. Her hand met with your shoulder and slid towards the space between your shoulderblades as she moved closer.
Pressing your cheek to hers, you kissed the air next to her face. âHey sweetheart, how are you making out?â She smelled like sex on legs, the scent of dragonâs blood and something musky filled your nose as you stayed in her proximity.
She hummed, batting her eyelashes at you playfully. âIâve made a decent chunk, Iâm only here until ten tonight.â
You raised a brow, letting your arm slip around her waist. âOh? Youâre leaving me all by my lonesome tonight?â You smiled as you felt her fingertips trace over the skin on the back of your neck.
âYes I am,â she chuckled, âIâm skipping town this weekend. Vacation.â
You nodded and hugged her to your side before letting her go. âSounds fun,â you turned back to the mirror and began stripping yourself of your outer layers. You glanced at her, âdonât forget me.â Your eyes tracked the quick and practiced movement of her hand as she touched up her lipstick, âcall if youâre in trouble.â
Her hand paused as she smiled, her eyes flicking to yours, âyouâre too sweet. Iâll remember that.â
You returned her smile, and dropped your shirt on top of your bag carelessly. You heard a call out of the time and responded with a âthank youâ while you fussed with yourself. You always did that, fuss. You didnât primp like the others, instead, you spent time picking apart what was lacking about your appearance. Your time at the mirror was more of a silent complaining competition where you were the sole participant than an act of self love.
You took a deep breath before heading out of the dressing room, knowing that it was likely the last youâd have for a while. Your club wasnât high end by any means, in fact, it was actually quite the opposite. You still felt safe here, there was plenty of security and you were never forced into anything you didnât want, but it wasnât unusual to see a fellow dancer escorting a customer to the private room that was in the very back of the hallway. It also wasnât all that unusual to hear exactly how that dancer was getting their generous tips if you were in the next room over.
Strutting into the dimly lit club, the air was thick with different kinds of smoke. The most pungent was tobacco, the next weed, and the scent of fog machine juice was the undertone to it all. Your eyes scanned the room, as they typically did, and landed on a specific man.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Which listener Calls to you the most? Iâm just curious which ones the fandom most relate to.
For me, itâs dreamer/the asset, hands down no question. They went through something that was incredibly traumatic for them for a lot of reasons that not a lot of people acknowledge, but when they go to McKinley they hide behind a mask of fake smiles and sometimes abrasive behavior to strangers, and then ignoring the trauma until itâs too big to ignore.
Wait no because hush who lies near Doc and rests his head on their chest while they talk to him about anything and everything.
He canât rest fully unless heâs touching doc in some way but the best way is when he can feel when theyâre talking. If he doesnât want to be cuddled directly into their chest, he will place his fingertips on their throat.
Itâs never to hurt them, he never grips their throat. Never hurts them. He rests his fingertips on the apex of their throat and feels the vibration and sensation of their speech as it lulls him into resting deeply. He finds peace in the feeling of their existenceâ and the proof of that.
Watching their breathâ the rise and fall of their chest. Their eyelids twitching as their eyes move beneath them. The steady beat of their heart. The parts of them that make them live.
But his favorite will always be the rumble of their voice against his body.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Today a resident told me I was a warm little chicken. Strangest compliment Iâve ever received Iâm pretty sure. She also calls me her darling and her sweetheart so I love her very much. I told her I had a girlfriend and she said âwell you have a boyfriend too, right?â And when I said no she was confused. Poly rights I suppose
I made a post about this on my newer TikTok account but I wanted to make one here too. Hereâs a basic story about how the Redacted fandom ruined and then saved my life.
Especially in a fandom where the content is about how bad relationships can be, I have for sure experienced some tough shit.
TW: SA, DV, Coercion, talk of PTSD
Back in 2023 I joined a fan server for redacted and I became very quickly attached to a lot of people. I was SAâd by someone who went by Vin/Jackie in that server very early on who happened to be the best friend of the person I was in a QPR with. This partner asked me if I would be okay with him staying friends with this person because she was the only person he knew with the same mental health problems and he felt like she understood him better than anyone. I agreed (because I had already been struggling to say no to people and Iâm too much of a people pleaser) but said that I never wanted to hear about her. Spoilers: I did hear about her. A lot. I also was cyberstalked by her for a long time and might still be.
In the server that I was in, we all had a very sexually charged relationship with each other. It came to the point where lewds/ludes were being sent in a specified channel in the server. There was even an entire category for it that you could only see if you had the nsfw role in the server.
A certain member in the server, who went by the name of Moon/Moonie/MoonlightDemure was someone who felt very comfortable with messaging me privately and who basically wanted to sext with me on what felt like practically a daily basis. It was exhausting for me, and I felt very coerced and pressured into doing it because she wouldnât really take no for an answer. It even got to the point where I had sent her photos of myself that only my partner and boyfriend at the time had received. These photos were brought up by her in the server and I was coerced into sending them into the server for friends and strangers to see. It was humiliating. Even my innocent selfies would get replied to with comments like âyouâre so sexyâ or âyour skin looks so goodâ and never any compliment that was innocent in nature. I was completely sexualized in that server and it made me feel incredibly dehumanized.
When I finally snapped, I went through every chat and dm and deleted my photos and a majority of any sexually charged messages and I made an announcement to the server that I was uncomfortable and to never speak to me that way again. I held back from sending selfies from there on out until the server was eventually deactivated by my partner.
The end of the server was not the end of my issues, unfortunately. I was still in a polycule with two people that I met in that server. Our relationship lasted just under two years, and by the one year mark, I was so far into the abuse that I was enduring I genuinely believed it was my fault (or that I was making it up). I was convinced that the power imbalance wasnât real and that every issue I had was stemmed entirely from insecurity on my part.
After a particularly close together string of issues with my partner, he and I agreed that if we were to make our relationship work, weâd both have to get back into therapy. I started therapy a month later, he never did. I was constantly broke from spending hundreds of dollars for traveling to see them and buying them things. I helped pay my boyfriendâs rent a few times and was always DoorDashing him food because he was lower income and I wanted to make sure he wasnât going to be homeless or hungry. Iâm sure I can tally up the total amount I spent on him with my cash app or DoorDash receipts but itâs likely well over $3,000.
I was completely isolated from all of my friends that Iâd had prior to my relationship with the two of them, because I was so afraid of upsetting my partner by forgetting to give him enough notice before going somewhere or forgetting that we had made plans already. I devoted 100% of my free time to the two of them and became practically obsessive over trying to keep them happy. I was entirely dependent on their moods in order to feel an ounce of calm.
I had one single friend who wasnât bothered by my isolation, and she was the only person I would hang out with that wasnât my boyfriend, my partner, or their friends. I was scared into canceling my enrollment to college twice times by my partner, once while we were together and once more after we had already broken up. I wonât go into full detail about a majority of what I went through but my therapist has classified my relationship with those two as domestically violent/abusive. I was never hit, but I was both sexually and emotionally/verbally abused by my partner.
Things were so bad that I thought I was going insane. They had me convinced I had undiagnosed bipolar disorder because of how I was acting. My partner would pick and pick and pick at me until I lost it over and over and it was a constant cycle of fear and anger and embarrassment every single day.
I started to realize that things were wrong when I started reading a redacted fanfic that had a depiction of darlin and Quinn in it that reminded me about my own relationship. It terrified me. I realized that I had gone from a goody two shoes that had never drank or smoked ever to a shell of a person who smoked nearly four bowls a day just to function.
My breaking point with them was when I was SAâd by my father, and my boyfriend ignored my text about it, and my partner responded briefly and then said nothing after that. The two of them played DnD together all night that night while I was on the phone with my friend sobbing about what had happened.
The whole time I was with them, and even after I broke up with them, I kept telling people that my boyfriend was an angel and that I felt so bad for breaking up with him. That was, until, one of his friends lied to him about what my reasoning for leaving a discord server was, and he was very angry and texted me before completely cutting me off and blocking me everywhere. My ex partner and I stayed in contact.
I was informed very casually by my ex partner that while I was at my neighbors house (who is about 20 years older than me) right after Iâd broken up with them, the two of them agreed that I was likely there having sex with him. What I was really doing? Comforting him because his friend had killed himself the day before.
I continued trying to be friends with my ex partner for months, but I realized even as friends he wasnât going to change. I was still upsetting him, and he was still claiming that I hurt him the same way he hurt me. It wasnât until I sent a long message to him saying that it was extremely hurtful to me that he kept claiming we hurt each other the same because we really didnâtâ that he finally said for the first time that he had neglected me and recognized that he was bad to me.
I stayed friends with him for way longer than I should have. Until the day that I started dating my girlfriend. When I told him I had a girlfriend and that he knew who it was (because it was that one friend Iâd had from before dating them that I would hang out with even though they were upset every time I did it.) he got mad at me. He claimed he was allowed to be upset with me because I had said that the reason I broke up with him was the long distance. I lost it. I went off on him and said that he knew that I had lied about that because we had multiple conversations where Iâd admitted Iâd lied because I didnât think theyâd let me break up with them for the other reasons and that was the one reason I knew they wouldnât argue with.
I cut him off that day. I could tell heâd said something about it to his mom because she texted me.
To this day, I still talk to his mom here and there but I know that he must walk around acting like he was a victim of me and Iâm sick and tired of staying quiet about it.
Iâve been terrified of speaking out and still am redacting names because I donât want to out specific people. They know who they are. They know that I have screenshots upon screenshots of what they said and did to me.
I was diagnosed with PTSD because of what happened with them, and I struggle daily feeling like Iâm still in that state. Theyâre engaged to each other and moving in together now, and nothing makes me more upset than knowing that theyâre living like they did nothing wrong and I have to fight for my life just to have a decent enough day.
So yeah, a redacted fan server ruined my life. But a redacted fanfic saved it. If it werenât for that fanfic and that specific depiction of darlin and Quinn I would NEVER have realized that I wasnât the problem.
