me.

Not all heroes wear capes??? Yeah, that’s because some of us listened to Edna Mode, you Buffoon™.

Its pronounced la croy

SOMEONE SAID IT

This is funnier the earlier in the year it’s blogged.

vibe check! *just starts fucking sobbing*

Legitimately one of my favorite Onion articles

god nerfed me by making me allergic to garlic and sunlight

so, a vampire?

i can confirm that i am not a vampire as i have blood

Is it your blood?

it is blood, yes

Is it blood that has always belonged to you, from the moment of your spawning?

it is blood, it is in my possession, therefore it is my blood

bastard keeps sprinting to get ahead of me then walks really slow so i accidentally kick him and then meows all pathetically like i attacked him

I’m sorry, does your cat’s name tag say “hello my name is bastard”