long awaited, an anderperry oneshot.
the two boys sat alone, by the lake.
they were having a “study group”, the only thing different was they, somehow, forgot to tell the rest about.
“how do i love thee? let me count the ways. i love thee to the depth and breadth and height, my soul can reach, when feeling out of sight. for the ends of being and ideal grace.”
“that’s beautiful, neil.”
“browning, how do i love thee.”
todd had an aching churn in his stomach as he stared back at neil. he wondered why he felt so heavily about the way neil spoke, so softly, only to him. todd licked his lips, before breaking the silence, “is there more?”
“i love thee to the level of every day’s, most quiet need, by sun and candle light. i love thee freely, as men strive for right. i love thee purely, as they turn from praise. i love thee with the passion put to use, in my old griefs, and with my childhood’s faith.”
he inched closer to todd, his fingertips brushing against the other’s knuckles. though he didn’t flinch, he kept his hand still. breathing in sync, with the boy before him.
“i love thee with a love i seemed to lose, with my lost saints. i love thee with the breath, smiles, tears, of all my life and, if god choose, i shall but love thee better after death.”
“how do you speak things in ways i’ve only dared to dream of.”
their faces were just inches apart. todd shook his head, vigorously.
“we have to get back.” he began to stand. neil grabbed his arm, pulling him down.
“i’ve waited for you, for so long.”
“i have to have you now.”
“what are you talking about?” todd asked, standing up.
neil quickly stood up, grabbing his hand, “don’t you feel it?”
todd swallowed hard, looking down at their hands. he nodded.
“then let’s do something about it.”
“no. we can’t, you know that.”
“nobody’s telling us no here.”
neil held the side of his friend’s face, he lowered his voice, “what is it that you’re longing for.”
“every time you look at me, i get this feeling in my stomach. this feeling like i’m going to explode. i get so warm and it feels like i’m wrapped in a large blanket, from the top of my head, to the tip of my toes. i feel suffocated when i’m around you. it takes everything in me not to tell you how i feel about you, how i’ve felt for so long. how the moment i met you and you shook my hand, it was extraordinary. i’ve never felt a moment like that. please kiss me!”
neil stared at him for a moment, before smiling. he let out a chuckle.
“you’re an absolute fool.”
it felt like magic. like the whole world was in the palm of his hands. he felt breathless. he felt happy.
he felt though, as if he’d been stripped naked and thrown in the ocean. free was the feeling. and he never wanted it to end.
