Neil Perry whose attempt left him dealing with chronic migraines
Neil Perry who at least once a month wakes up with a stiff neck and blurry vision and by the time breakfast time comes around his head is pounding hard enough to make the room spin
Neil Perry who cannot go to the nurse's office and ask for yet another permission slip because it would be the second time in the span of three weeks and he knows it's useless to even try
Neil Perry who just has to deal with it because the school doesn't know, nobody knows, and his father has gone to great lengths to make sure nobody found out, and he can't ruin that
(It was just a fluke, anyway. A lapse in judgement. The son of Thomas Perry would never try to commit suicide.)
Neil Perry who has to drag himself through the halls, through the crowd of students who are rushing down to breakfast, students who keep pushing and bumping into him and talking way too loudly— And by the time he makes it down to the dining hall his hair is sticking to his forehead with sweat and his head feels like it's splitting in two
Neil Perry who stumbles into his usual seat, ignoring the piercing gazes of his friends as he tries to not grimace in pain because it feels like somebody was hitting his left temple, right where his scar sits, with a hammer
Neil Perry who doesn't eat a single bite at breakfast because even the smell of food is nauseating and he knows he wouldn't be able to keep himself from throwing up if anything made it past his lips
Neil Perry who has to force a smile and say "just a headache" when Meeks tells him he looks pale and asks him if he's doing okay
Neil Perry who avoids his childhood best friend's concerned eyes because he knows Charlie knows he's never suffered from headaches. He knows the other thinks he's lying— Everyone probably is.
(And he doesn't want to make them worry, he doesn't, but no matter how much he tries he can't seem to stop doing it.)
Neil Perry who came back from winter break and something about him is different, everyone can see it, but he's never been good at talking about it.
(He couldn't even if he wanted to.)
