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@anactualpancake

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So I've seen the post going around that's kind of like "kids should be able to read whatever they want and not have their choices censored by adults" and I largely agree with one caveat which is that children need to be able to opt in. I remember being 12 and sneaking some dirty books, and being interested and excited to read a book with something more sexy in it, and no one died, and everything was fine, and I was not forever scarred. However I do remember being shown a a horror film at seven by a babysitter and not being able to sleep for three weeks, and if I'd known how scary the movie was I wouldn't have wanted to watch it.
Kids can usually know what they can handle. Kids cover their eyes at scary points in films, kids read past stuff they aren't ready for. But it is good to be clear like "Oh that book might have some scary parts you might not like, are you sure you want to get that one?" Or "Oh this book has some grown up things in them that you might have a hard time understanding, I want to check that your okay with that." Like give kids the warnings and options and they will probably make a safe and informed decision. It doesn't have to be either or.
I also think kids should be allowed to be wrong about what they can handle without getting in trouble for it. They should be able to go to the adults in their life and ask for help processing what they saw or read without fear of judgement or punishment.
And kids (and anyone) should be allowed to change their minds at any point.
“We are descended from the Witches you couldn’t burn!”
It’s a nice sentiment, I like the energy, I do. That said, I am actually descended from a “Salem Witch,” and my Ancestor, Mary Isham Towne, was not burnt at the stake, she was hanged by the neck until dead. We’re not savages y’know.
Furthermore, Mary Isham Towne was a churchgoing, god-fearing woman, who just so happened to be a widow who owned a piece of land that the local judge wanted to purchase, but which she refused to sell, and which he set out to acquire pretty much immediately after he sentenced her execution.
So, y’know.
☝️FUCKING FACTS
wanting to vent a bit/being worried about privacy will have you posting like i'm dealing with issues and problems. situations have happened to me. and there are emotions i'm experiencing about this. or not. gotta keep 'em on their toes.
Always bear in mind that there is absolutely no legitimate evidence that Luigi was actually the one who killed the insurance company guy.
Of course he wasn't. He was at a party with me that day.
No but like literally, actually. All bits aside.
He didn't do it.
The cops very clearly planted evidence on him because they had to make an arrest because all eyes were on them and whoever actually did the deed was making them look stupid.
Why would the real killer hero have kept the weapon on his person and traveled two states over while carrying it and a manifesto in his bag, conveniently turning the crime into a federal matter? The same guy whose bag they found in a park, filled with monopoly money? Why did the police turn off their bodycams, take Luigi's stuff, drive a block away, turn their bodycams back on, go back into the restaurant, and then arrest him?
From the moment of his arrest, even left-of-center media has been presuming his guilt without examining anything (e.g. calling him "the killer" instead of "alleged" or "accused") and then when I say he didn't do it, the nearest person chimes in with some quip that tells me they think he did do it but should go free anyway. Don't get me wrong, I would have the same attitude if he had done it. But he didn't. It makes me feel like the only sane person in the world, even among my staunchly leftist friends.

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I fell in love with this sentence and it circles my brain so it’s turning into pottery
PHRASE ADDED TO INVENTORY!
“bits to use in everyday conversations”
Panetta argued—in a probably conscious paraphrase of Anne-Marie Slaughter—that “girls don’t have to change who they are” to become arms dealers and military officers. Rather, the war machine must change for us. And which female “us” is that? The writer and journalist Rania Khalek once sardonically declared that, in American geopolitics, “all that actually matters is breaking glass ceilings, even if that means breaking the actual ceilings of women in Yemen.”
Enemy Feminisms by Sophie Lewis
Real events bore out Khalek’s observation with spine-tingling crudeness when, in 2019, the weapons manufacturer Raytheon (responsible for many lethal drone bombings of Yemenis) wrote a check to the Girl Scouts of the USA, after which the two organizations cosponsored a series of “Cyber Challenges” themed around juvenile females’ career advancement. Smiling cadettes learned code and received “mentorship,” all courtesy of the “defense” megalith that ongoingly profits from selling bombs to Saudi Arabia, which end up obliterating Yemeni school buses.
This is easily one of the CRAZIEST videos I've ever gotten. I was rafting down a river when a Yellow Jacket came, landed on my bright pink waterproof phone pouch, and started drinking from the water droplets that had gathered there.
The most amazing part is how the water droplet magnifies the Hornet's mouth parts, so you get to see them up-close!!!! It was FASCINATING to witness!
Here's some of my favorite still shots from that video:
What do you think? 🥰
Has anyone else noticed recently that when you press the 🅐 Button while in the air you can hardly find the strength to do a Double Jump anymore? Go ahead and try if you want, but it won't work.
Nothing's been the same since she... fuck... I'm sorry... since she... since she left this world. If only I'd remembered that holding and releasing the 🅑 Button would've allowed me perform a powerful Spin Attack. If I hadn't forgotten, she might still be here today. Shit... fuck... I can't handle this anymore, I'm sorry.
There's a Save Point over there. They say if you stand on it and press 🅧 you can save your game. But can any of us really be saved? I don't think so. Not after everything we've done.
Press the 🅜 Button to undo the damage from this War. Oh? There's no 🅜 Button on your Controller? Funny that.

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idk I can tell that some tumblrinas are not up on fat politics because I see a lot of people saying stuff like “it’s better to be a little fat than waste your life trying to be thin” or like “it’s chic to have a little belly” like okay but there are fat people who are “a lot fat” and have “a lot of belly” which everyone is weirdly silent on all the time. Like the fattest person on earth still deserves to exist in human society with joy and dignity regardless of how they got to that weight or how many health conditions they have as a result of their personal actions…that should be everyone’s baseline here I’m not really sure what’s complicated about it
when the lyrics you've been mishearing are more clever than what's actually in the song
intersex people need to unironically take these words back ngl
[Image ID, Tags reading "but why though, why do we have to use terms in a way that outs us a a group or not? and what am i supposed to say instead when i feel this captures my experience as a perisex trans person the best? dont get me wrong i am fully behind advocating for intersex rights and more conversations about intersex struggles, but this feels like bioessentialism again. Like i would'nt bat an eye at an intersex person calling "assigning themselves to any gender identity" transitioning either. End ID]
Just so, SO much to unpack in this, but I will try my best to educate for those that don't understand. "AGAB" means Assigned Gender at Birth, it is not a noun, it is a verb, used to describe the process of being assigned a gender at birth, not the fact that you have one, everyone has one, the process of having a doctor pick it for you. This term was coined by intersex people to describe our experiences of doctors picking and choosing which gender we were assigned as based on often times no evidence, sometimes a baby's genitals match up with what they were assigned as, often times they don't. "AGAB" was intended as a way to describe how intersex people were put into a binary of biological male or biological female despite that not being the case. The usage of "AGAB" by perisex transgender people changes this definition entirely, overwriting the voices of intersex people and our experiences and using our own terms in ways that make no sense given the actual original definitions. To Perisex transgender people, "AGAB" is a noun, you are an "AFAB" or an "AMAB" person, it means you were born a biological female or a biological male and implies you no longer identify with this term. I understand fully that people may feel comfortable using these terms under these definitions, but it doesn't change the fact that these are the incorrect uses of terms made by a different, smaller, community and bastardized of their original intents and meanings.
You are finding comfort in calling the skies green and the grass blue, and to intersex people who named them you look silly.
As to what you are supposed to use, the terms Müllerian and Wolffian have been coined as alternative terms to biological female and biological male, designed to be detached from gender entirely.
If you are "Fully behind advocating for intersex rights and more conversations about intersex struggles", please do not cast aside the intersex people speaking up against intersexism in favor of your own comfort in these misused terms. Being an intersex advocate, and any form of advocate in general, comes with listening to the people you are advocating for, especially when it discomforts you and calls into question your biases.
I am confused as to how this is bioessentialism, "AGAB" were coined specifically *against* bioessentialism, against the idea that intersex people, and people in general, being put into boxes at birth. It is used to describe genders being inflicted upon us without our consent, and is a term describing a harrowing experience. It is not bioessentialism to give bioessentialist tools a name. Especially when that name is used with hate. Intersex people hate "AGAB", we hate being put into boxes and being expected to conform to the idea of biological male and biological female. Calling this post bioessentialist is silly, please learn the meaning of words before you use them.
As for the thing about intersex people describing themselves as transitioning when describing their gender, this, unlike your earlier comments, is blatant intersexism rather than the covert accidental ignorance kind. Intersex trans people can use whatever terms they like to refer to their experiences thank you very much. If an intersex person describing their experience of identifying as the gender they feel comfortable with as transitioning makes you uncomfortable, you are not only intersexist but transphobic too.
I will give you the benefit of the doubt, nobody knows things before they know them, nobody has already learned the things they are actively learning. I hope you can take this post to heart, both you and other readers who were questioning my post.
Have a nice day :)
I'm trying to be patient but the amount of perisex people on this post asking what other terms they can use and insisting AMAB/AFAB works best for them is insane.
I will say this one final time, AGAB does not mean biological sex.
Anyone asking how they can describe their experience without saying their AGAB is missing the point entirely. AFAB does not mean biological female, it does not mean müllerian, it does not mean someone who was born with a fully functioning vagina and a uterus and went through a estrogen puberty. AMAB does not mean biological male, it does not mean wolffian, it does not mean someone who was born with a fully functioning penis and testes and went through a testosterone puberty. Every time you use "AFAB" to refer to your experiences as a perisex müllerian person, you are using it wrong. Every time you use "AMAB" to refer to your experiences as a perisex wolffian person, you are using it wrong. If you are a person who was AFAB there are people who were AMAB or AXAB who went through the same puberty and transition you did. If you are a person who was AMAB there are people who were AFAB or AXAB who went through the same puberty and transition you did. Your experiences are not limited to people who were assigned the same gender at birth as you, so every time you use your AGAB as an example of how being transgender works, you look silly as you are ignoring intersex people's existence in your analogy, and using our words wrong to do so.
Using intersex terms when you wish to describe a fully perisex bodily development is using them wrong. There will always be an intersex sized hole in every analogy you use for perisex development and transition using intersex-made terms.
Just a few corrections, because unfortunately lots of this post is incorrect. Lots here is correct, but I'll tack onto what isn't, because this is long enough as is. I fully agree with the last two paragraphs and on it's own I think that's an excellent point. OP is also correct in that ASAB terminology doesn't actually describe you. But...
These terms were not coined by us. The erasure going on here is worse than this, by far. These terms were invented by perisex people, a very specific group of transphobic, intersexist, pedophilic child predators, to refer to the process of correcting our sexes. That is not hyperbole, I am speaking about child rapists who were (and often still are) highly respected in their field. Which is why it's so strange & hurtful to see it gain ground as a common parlance for "observed sex at birth." I much prefer OSAB or DSAB. DSAB (designated) is a little older, and both are not as well known (go figure lol)
I'm sorry in advance, but I'm old and I've done a lot of research. This particular tidbit I've known since I was ten, because I was subject to John Money's practices as a medically classified "true hermaphrodite". My familial abusers were also child psychologists with a full on practice (which they used to abuse children) and I'm well read in the department we're all suddenly in.
Please note that my post is written as General You to an assumed general perisex audience. I will come across as aggressive because I am talking about deeply upsetting subject matter. I am not trying to be combative to OP. I am not trying to be rude. I am being as honest as I can, given the circumstances. You're welcome in advance, because this is as polite as this herm gets.
As I said, a sex assignment isn't the same as an observed sex/designated sex. If you think this, then you are wrong, and you need to read up on what I am about to tell you, because it's YOUR history as well as MY HISTORY. All of us are impacted by this.
"The concept of “gender role” was coined in the early 1950s at the Johns Hopkins Hospital in Baltimore, MD. In a set of five publications, co-authored with psychiatrists Joan Hampson and her husband John Hampson and published between 1955 and 1956 in the Bulletin of the Johns Hopkins Hospital, John Money developed a new theory of human sexual development. Money and the Hampsons compared contradicting biological variables of sex and the sex the child had been assigned at birth with its gender role. [...]
"Based on this hypothesis, the team developed a set of treatment recommendations, which advocated early surgery on genitals to adjust the body to the assigned sex. The Hopkins protocols (as the five publications came to be called) became the dominant guidelines in intersex case management (ICM). Over the past two decades, intersex patient activists and gender scholars have, quite rightly, severely criticized these treatment practices for creating a world of shame, secrecy, and unwanted genital surgeries."
(The Birth of Gender: Medicine and the Transformation of Sex in the 1950s)
The inception point of Assigned Sex came from a group of child abusers. The inception point of Assigned Sex was child abusers discussing how to mutilate, medically and psychologically experiment on intersex children, in order to broaden their understanding of sex vs. gender. Again, I am not being hyperbolic in calling them child abusers, because they did in fact rape and molest children (on top of the psychological torture that intersex specific treatments are!) This is fact. This is immutable. You can go look into that yourself. It's included in one of the links I provide, if you actually read through this. The appearance of Assigned Sex starts in the 1950s, and it starts here.
"Should Sex Ever Be Altered After Early Childhood?
Fortunately the sex which is assigned to hermaphrodites at birth often agrees with the predominant characteristics of the external genitalia. This decision is wise provided the necessary studies are made to exclude female psuedohermaphroditism. However, when the external genitalia are of a doubtful nature, the physician often refuses to make a definite decision [...]"
The Diagnosis and Treatment of Endocrine Disorders in Childhood and Adolescence 1950
So we are categorically talking about a group of people, (of which I am one,) who were subject to infant genital mutilation (IGM), nonconsensual HRT, and routinely taken into psychologists' offices to strip naked and be sexually assaulted repeatedly; in order to ensure we were sexually developing as the correct gender role, with the correct effects of HRT on our bodies. That's what they do. That is what these people do to us. This text saying "Fortunately our assignments line up later on!" is only something this author (Wilkins) knows because he was sexually abusing intersex children/teens/young adults.
You have no idea what a lifetime of being a sexually abused lab rat does to a person.
Previously to this new wave of child sexual abuse wrapped up as medical intervention, many intersex people were quietly assigned a sex by the doctor and there were no standards. There are now, roughly standards, but it's still up to the practitioner's personal beliefs on ICM + their interpretations of the specific intersex body in front of them. Lots of us were born and left alone, lots were cut up, lots of us were Foundlings. (We still are these things, and very often.) Prior to this form of medical abuse, we were defined by a legal system (Rome, Greece, Britain) or in Indigenous communities, by our self chosen paths as an equally valued member of community - but the history is all over the place here and I gotta stick to the topic. Did you know sex markers were introduced to punish intersex "androgynous" people? Look into that. This is a great piece but it's only the start on that rabbit hole.
“Gender” was invented within U.S. medicine in the mid-20th century. It transformed over the span of three decades, going from a pragmatic tool in the sex assignment of children with intersex traits in the 1950s, to an essential category in newly established gender identity clinics for transgender individuals in the 1960s, to a focal point of feminist debates about the sex/gender binary in the 1970s."
How the Clinic Made Gender: The Medical History of a Transformative Idea, 2022
If you are transgender, your struggles are built on our suffering. That's how intertwined this all is. The modern transphobia movement would not exist without intersexism. This is why it excessively hurts us that you use these words whilst simultaneously denying us a seat at the table. You are erasing us with the same violence that CAME from us and was put unto YOU.
"Observation or recognition of an infant's sex may be complicated in the case of intersex infants and children and in cases of early trauma. In such cases, the infant may be assigned male or female, and may receive intersex surgery to confirm that assignment. These medical interventions have increasingly been seen as a human rights violation due to their unnecessary nature and the potential for lifelong complications."
Wikipedia's page on this borders on the cusp on understanding here, but what I am saying to you all is: An observed sex is passively observed. An assigned sex is actively assigned. If you were not labeled as a sex and given intervention (HRT, surgery, therapy in the form of sex roleplay / gender dynamics roleplay, enforcement via your caretakers to ensure you're "normal" sex-wise) then you do not have an assigned sex. We came up with CASAB (coercively or correctively assigned sex) and that was taken too, but I'm not a nice herm that acquiesces ASAB in the first place, so my thoughts on that are irrelevant right now.
"More visible adoption of the terminology of sex assignment has led to public debate and criticism.
There is a consensus in the use of the term "sex assignment" for newborns with intersex conditions; observed chromosomal sex and assigned sex may intentionally differ for medical reasons (based upon predictions of psychosocial and psychosexual health in later life)." (Wikipedia)
So like intersex people have been saying, you don't actually have an assigned sex unless you were assigned a sex, and it can vary from your observed/designated sex, and lots of us have both.
"The terminology has evolved across various editions of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) maintained by the American Psychiatric Association. Initially, the third edition of the DSM referred to "anatomic sex". By the fourth edition in 1994, the term "assigned sex" was introduced, with subsequent editions also using "biological sex" and "natal gender". The latest revision in 2022 streamlined the language to consistently use "sex assignment"." (Wikipedia)
We're being effectively genocidally exterminated, by the way. This predates this statement about the UK by the Lemkin institute. The denial and prevention of identity is the first step in any genocide, and we are decades past that. The tomb felt like it sealed in 2022, Assigned Sex so mainstream that the DSM has added it to their ranks. You're contributing here, not knowing the history, flippantly using terminology intersex people have been fighting against for longer than you've lived.
If you're perisex, do not speak to me on this unless you have at least a basic grasp on John Money. If you know what ASAB is, it's thanks to him. He popularized the term assigned sex via his prolific work. He was doing that work to gain access to intersex children to sexually abuse. The additions to the DSM were due to his work bringing these terms over from the field he was in. He was a massive transphobe and a child rapist.
"In the 1970s, “biological sex” found its way into legal doctrine as a result of an outdated understanding of transgender identity as a mental illness caused by early childhood experiences, along with policy concerns about the need to distinguish the sexes for purposes such as avoiding same-sex marriage."
That was John Money.
"Assigned sex terminology also emerged at midcentury in medical research related to people with intersex variations. “Intersex” is “an umbrella term for differences in sex traits or reproductive anatomy,” such as “differences in genitalia, hormones, internal anatomy, or chromosomes, compared to the usual two ways that human bodies develop.” Transgender theorists borrowed this terminology in the 1990s to describe the process of assigning sexes to all infants, and it began to appear in legal contexts in the early 2000s. It now competes with the term “biological sex” in legal disputes over transgender rights."
John Money ALONE did so much harm to the trans community, and nobody knows who he is, what he did, or how impactful it was - despite living under the current impacts of that transphobia. Because he was first and foremost obsessed with intersex children. And it seems like we really just don't matter. You need to change this. You need to care about this. It impacts you. This is your fight too.
If you are not actively seeking education on this, don't bother engaging with me. I'm well educated enough in this arena to look at someone being argumentative and recognize that they don't even know what they're arguing against or for or about. I can also tell if you pop up to argue and haven't read any of the material provided, because I've read it dozens of times in order to format my arguments over the years. I have to be well educated so that perisex people will listen to me. But this means I expect the same of you: I will not listen to your argument if it's just "But I like these terms and I'm autistic so I hate change so you're being ableist to a neuro-divergent minor!!!" You need an actual argument here, and there really isn't one. So if this pisses you off and you want to tantrum about it, consider doing so in private, because I am a (NOT NICE!) intersex person. I will not hold your hand or cheerfully educate you! Because you cannot imagine the physical torture I've endured, the intersex-specific / intersex-exclusive experience of abuses I have had over my many years! So unfortunately, when it comes to this,
And I'm not gentle about it either.
Read, educate yourself, listen to intersex people. You will never have trans liberation without the liberation of the intersex people. Your fight will always fall flat if you cut us out of it, because we have been fighting this fight just as long, arguably longer; and you are kneecapping yourselves by culling your movement's allies and founders. Thank you for reading.
Be kind to trans women or die by my sword
Respect trans men or die by my axe
Include nonbinary people or die by my morningstar
listen to intersex people or die by my longbow
love he/him butches and she/her femboys and neopronoun queers and all kinds of gnc folks or die by my arquebus
don’t just see multi-gender and two spirit and third gender and agender people as “gotchas” in your debates or die by my trebuchet
“Kanny where did you get all these medieval weapons” well you see I defeated the Duke of Worsestkingshireton-upon-avon in glorious battle and claimed his lands as my own and I broke into his castle armory and now I’ve got all these cool toys to use on bigots. I do this every Monday.
some people completely miss the point of Flowery's character. the whole thing is that he seems so obnoxiously fake that the whole chapter youre just waiting for the other shoe to drop and for his real evil side to come out, but as the chapter goes on you realize he just really really really loves his caretaker and his friends and he really does want to help you but he knows its his dream against yours
the reason hes so defensive of the dark fountain isnt to just be a dick its because 1 its the only way his friends can fulfill their dreams and 2 it would defy the prophecy if the heroes failed, challenging Ralsei to actually deeply think about the prophecy and how they might try to break it without everything falling apart
ive seen some people say "idk hes too perfect there must be something evil about him" YOU FELL FOR THE BAIT! the point is youre supposed to think hes hiding something and then realize he isnt hes just a genuinely kind sincere guy who wants to protect what he loves and help others! thats the point, you completely missed half his character!
The other side of this that makes him such a fascinating and interesting character is that he actually is hiding something. It's just not what you first expect.
Like mentioned, you do start out expecting him to be evil. To be hiding malicious intentions. And one of the twists with his character is that he's not. But he is flawed. It's just that what he's actually hiding is that he's deeply insecure.
I think what a lot of people miss about Flowery and the flowers in general is that they are presenting themselves as specifically what they WANT to be, not what they ARE. It's why they all sort of suck at what they do. Yellow WANTS to serve justice, but he doesn't fully know how so his attempts are chaotic and destructive. Seth WANTS to be a master tactician, but they don't actually know enough about the world around them to fully pull it off. Orange WANTS to protect what she cares about, but she's overly sensitive about her lack of strength and appearance and it hinders her ability to do so. Etc, etc, etc.
Flowery is the same. What we see for most of the chapter is who he WANTS to be which is this perfect anime bishonen hero. He has fake perfect stats. He purposefully gives himself the ability to solve any problem. He comes across as fake because that's what he is. But deep down, he's still painfully aware that all he is is a flower who has no ability to change his fate or protect his friends amd Asgore.
That's why the "weak flower" scene hits so unbelievably hard: it's the first time Flowery is genuine about how weak and useless he feels. That he sees himself as something that only looks pretty and then dies. What's amazing is that it's this openness that allows him and Ralsei to switch mentor/student roles in this scene.
Flowery gave Ralsei reason to hope that he could defy the prophecy and find genuine happiness. Ralsei gives that hope back by showing Flowery that it doesn't matter if he isn't the hero of the story like he wants to be. That he helped Asgore by just being something to love and care for and that returning that love in the time he had was worth something even if it was doomed to end.
And that's also a major theme in Deltarune: that caring for the people and objects and world around us is worth something all on its own, even if those relationships are temporary or change.

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I love their crooked smiles!! 🌼