To be very clear, there is nothing inherently wrong with liking fated mates as a trope, seeking out content where fated mates are a focus, etc. Where people lose me is:
Claims that "Fate SHOULD overcome choice!!!"
Deciding what an author NEEDS to do within the trope or that the trope needs to be fulfilled a certain way
The seemingly inevitable focus on the fulfillment of the men in the fated mates situation
Related to the point above, the refusal to analyze the weird gender essentialism / heterocentric aspect of most fated mate bond situations
The refusal to understand that not all books using an aspect of the fated mates trope are going to do so without examination. "BUT THEY'RE MATES!!!" literally should not be an acceptable argument as to why EL should be endgame in the world as SJM has set it up.
Liking a trope, reading a certain kind of fiction, etc, does not inherently mean you believe certain things should be true in the real world. But the way you defend or talk about the trope in context can absolutely reflect troubling ideas, especially where women and agency are concerned, and no - - I don't think that should be left unexamined.