#endgame things

..before we start on the other.”

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what really bothered me when i watched endgame was the scene where tony lashed out at steve. first off, I completely agree that steve had that coming, it was such an emotional and powerful scene because tony came back from almost certain death, he was tired and grieving, and cap was asking him for coordinates like that was the most important thing. and at that point tony’s too tired to hold all that back anymore and what comes out of it was so heart wrenching and true and he really gave all he had. but that’s not the point, what bothered me was steve’s reaction, or rather the lack of it. maybe that’s just steve’s character and maybe i’m just not that familiar with him, but that look on his face and how he just stood there kind of hurt.

firstly the look on his face, it wasn’t just stoic, it was the look you give to a child or some annoying animal being unreasonable. the pity and the disregard and that looking down (wow i forgot the word for this) made me so mad, as if he thought of tony as some deranged person or some angry resentful child. again, this might be completely off but it’s just what i felt when i first watched the movie.

second was how he didn’t say a single word. maybe that was his way of showing apology, by letting tony take it out on him, but again i felt it was just that he didn’t even bother to respond to tony. to me, tony was definitely just trying to let everything out, but a tiny part was also to get something out of steve, to hurt him. but steve didn’t apologise, didn’t show he was angry or hurt or sad, and imo that silence was the worst insult. not just that he thought tony wasn’t worth replying to, but that he didn’t even take tony seriously.

and also, how steve completely disregarded that tony literally just walked out of a spaceship he was sure he was going to die in, thinking and praying that pepper, rhodey, happy and the rest of them lived, after losing to thanos and watching all the people he fought with turn to dust. he might have had time to process everything and deal with it, but tony was busy dying and thinking that he didn’t need to process anything since he was going to die anyway. so when captain marvel showed up and saved them, it was the first time tony had the time or need to think and grieve and steve comes in like the chill guy he is and starts grinding him for coordinates or anything useful. like in that state with that much guilt and pain and having everything crash on him when he came back, he already wasn’t emotionally stable and steve couldn’t even see that his Friend was in pain before trying to get something out of him was kind of sickening, honestly.

One, I’m really glad they didn’t put this in the movie. I don’t think I would able to handle more tears at the time, honestly.

Two: you can see the guilt in Stephen’s posture, and the way he hangs his head. He knew since Infinity War that Tony was going to die, but he didn’t warn him so he could live a life without being burdened by the worry of death.