C’mon Miracle Aligner

wedding dresses are white specifically so that if the bride goes axe-crazy you can rest assured you will see the blood stains all over her and it'll be sick as fuck

I am shocked at how many people don't have an actively hostile relationship with advertising

You never know what color pallette someone's Tumblr is till ppl are screenshotting posts and tags

Oh wow.

Some people on tumblr are reading ancient scrolls and you'd never know

we are never going to be free until it literally doesnt matter whether a person is ugly or not

it's actually sick you get tired of eating the same food over and over when some animals they just eat grass all day mind you. just another pointless challenge mechanic added in by big universe to get you to go to the grocery store

Was literally thinking about this when I gave the rabbits their breakfast, the same dry pellets they get twice a day every day, and they were so hyped for it, as they always are. Why can't I have that where are my pellets #mypellets

I love how hard Steve is laughing.

Assigned Daquan at the Stand up comedy club

oh my GOD what is her name i wanna watch more

That is Christopher Caldwell aka Bob the Drag queen and he is iconic

I’ve seen this clip countless time (and still fucking funny 😂🤣) but I was today years old when I learned Bob’s government name, which honestly makes this joke even funnier

I'm sorry Chris chose the name Bob and is complaining about Steve?

“my father is a boy and my mother is a girl so i’m mixed” is the funniest possible response to someone asking your gender and it came from 6’5 Viking footballer and notable weird little guy Erling Haaland on a Snapchat

Being an adult will have you unironically craving a vegetable

Being an adult will have you unironically sad about a parasite outbreak in fresh vegetables.

Looking at these I had the sudden full body memory of swim team at the outdoor college pool on summer vacation, blistering heat, launching off a starting block into water just that color, the sun on my back and the water everywhere. I can smell the chlorine.

28 year old tumblr users will look at you and say do you remember thwomp day of 2013 when everyone was posting thwomp from mario 64 in different audio

This what I mean when I say science writing is terrible and you need to actually go back to the academic publications themselves to get what’s going on

sometimes the nut doesn't bring any clarity at all no matter how hard you bust it. the delirium only deepens.

Yearly reminder to write this down.

Why do so many women infantilize themselves as soon as they get with a man like that mess is none of my business but it’s horrifying to watch he’s just some guy and you’re here like that’s my dada with his big boy uwu credit card what the hell are you even doing like actually

shut up whore get back to your vanilla shit or whatever

Bro gonna call dada on me 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

just saw a deactivated mutual's post on my dash. that's my dead wife's corpse you're all dragging around

I also reblog this guys dead wife.