yikes

guys i’m so sorry to say this but exercising and indulging in hobbies rather than scrolling on your phone for 200 hours actually does improve your mood and overall mental health, this has deeply upset me more than anyone

getting increasingly confused trying to have sex with my point and click wife but she just keeps saying “you cant use that here”

i have the ancient sarcophagus and the cuckoo clock. what the fuck else do i need man

johnny cash's little brother jimmy pennies is 3 inches tall and has a voice only dogs can hear

you need to understand that i have two sets of headcanons. there's the set of realistic headcanons based on my genuine reading of the show, and then there's me playing pretend with my dolls.

Bet it feels good as fuckkk to rest your hand on the pommel of your sword when the newcomer steps a little too close to your lord who you’ve sworn to protect with your life

yearning for you on company time

Actual sciense shows that Dr.pepper heals & hydrates you.

has anyone figured out how to be a real person yet

just me. and i'm NOT telling

what the fuck. come on