[woman vocalizing] [man speaking backwards]

plany off time is a dangerous thing for a woman like me to have

learned yesterday of a lesbian softball league that in its inception in the 70s was open only to 1) absolute beginners 2) lovers of people already on the team. in order to keep serious intense sport-players out. now join me in imagining a romance novel where a plucky young woman has to seduce a softball player to join and sabotage her friend's rival team

when i was a kid i was so mad all the time bc i thought someday i'd have to be somebody's wife i didn't know it was optional. is everybody reminding the young girls in their lives that it's optional.

Woman murders man in broad daylight

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beautiful like to reblog ratio on this

That's because people are reblogging it every time they see it. Like I'm doing right now lmao

the other day all my coworkers were talking about the various wack diets they're on and I went "nahhhh I'm on the Seafood Diet" and the lady next to me goes "oh, what's that?" and i was so shocked by actually getting a chance to deliver the punchline on that ancient gag that i barely even remembered to say it

the “PowerPoint night” was a kind of early twenty-first century literary salon fashionable among the youth of the period

Answer me

i can’t stop thinking about the time my roommate and i asked our insanely ripped neighbor brian who wore flip flops year round and sunglasses on the back of his head for help with carrying a solid wood dresser up to our apartment. he wanted to get his son who was home from college to come help too so he takes out his phone and goes, “siri, call christian christianson” and turns speaker phone on while we stand there sort of stunned by the name and after a few rings cc answers, “what the hell do you want” and brian just hangs up without responding and is all, “kids, am i right” then carries the dresser up four flights of stairs pretty much by himself. we offered him a six pack of rainier as thanks which he immediately opened in our kitchen and downed 2/6 beers in 10 mins while telling us about his 1989 dodge ram 1500 he was trying to get his son to restore with him to no avail. really nice guy. we never saw his son before he went back to school but any time i ask my roommate for help with lifting stuff or reaching something he says, “siri, call christian christianson” and we reminisce about brian and his truck.