tell them I said something

they dont tell you this but you carry your upset younger self in you like a parasitic twin

does anyone else remember being a hapless american child looking at the prices of books on the inside flap and wondering. do we just hate canadians? this book is $8 here and $13 there, that feels..... mean somehow

dead wife who was MEAN and slept without a TOP SHEET and only went to the beach when it was OVERCAST to SCOWL at the waves

Every time I see a post about updog I’m torn between not wanting to fall for it and wanting to help the poster complete their joke.

okay but what’s updog ?

Updog is a long sausage in a bun often served with ketchup, mustard, onion e, and/or relish.

No, that’s a hotdog. An updog is when a new version or patch of an application is released

You’re thinking of update. Updog is when you end a sentence with a rising intonation.

No, that’s uptalk.  You’re thinking of the fourth-largest city in Sweden.

surely that’s Uppsala, whereas Updog is the giant spider in Harry Potter.

That’s Aragog. Updog is a symbol conventionally used for an arbitrarily small number in analysis proofs

You’re thinking of epsilon. Updog is an upward-moving air current.

No, that’s upbraid. An updog is a small dog that likes cuddling on people’s laps.

No that’s a puppydog. An updog is when the Mets win.

No that’s an upset. An updog is the modern version of a henway.

What’s a henway?

Oh, about 5 pounds.

thomas the tank engine, aka the only monster no. one wants to fuck

that’s where you’re wrong

you made this blog just now and i feel responsible for the evil it represents

thomas the spank engine

i think humanity in the middle ages was onto something when they allowed only priests to be literate

My man George Homework Bush decided to Nut the last minute of November and ended up crumbling into gray dust once he came

i hate this website i just want to obtain information in a normal ass way again

in general i think new york is very good for my social anxiety because no matter how much of a freak i’m being i know it’s probably not the weirdest thing people have seen today

case in point: i felt bad about bringing my unwieldy luggage onto a crowded train, until the man sitting next to me pulled a live fish out of his backpack

are you REALLY a tumblr user if you don’t see a post on your dash filled with misinformation presented in a hostile manner like youre the idiot for not knowing these 100% bullshit lies at least once a day and have to physically restrain yourself from starting shit with the OP

The impact causes the gun to go off and shoot wade in the dick. Spider man spends the next several minutes frantically apologizing while cable laughs his ass off for the first time in years.

Pretty sure I’ve read this comic

@wishem please omg just a quick doodle or something even

Don’t you dare apologize for perfection.

oh yeah my primary social media app is the one that got banned from multiple app stores for having child porn on it. the bone incident? sorry, you’ll have to be more specific, i’m aware of at least three instances of people posting about handling human remains.