rabbit

A common miscommunication I've seen inside and outside OEA spaces is the comparison of conditioning and programming. This is only made further complicated by the fact they exist on a similar scale, where not all conditioning is programming, but all programming is conditioning. This post serves to point out the differences between the two. Any sources may contain triggering content.

System communities need to get normal about littles who have other “adult” roles

System communities need to get normal about abuser introjects

System communities need to get normal about RAMCOA/OEA survivors

System communities need to get normal about systems who’s trauma wasn’t parental abuse and/or sa (this is not me saying that people who did go through that are invalid, but that theres a lack of resources or support for different types of trauma)

if a system has an introject with a 'problematic' source, it is NOT your place to ensure that alter is fully source separated. that is THAT SYSTEM'S BUSINESS. you can ask them to just not talk about their source, but it is NOT your place to force them to source separate. YOU ARE NOT THEIR DOCTOR. YOU ARE NOT THEM. IT IS NOT YOUR BUSINESS.

Source Separation is a form of recovery that TAKES TIME. It looks different for everyone. Hell, in my system, it's different between every introject! a little under half of my system is made up of introjects, some of us are "fully"* source separated, others aren't at all, and others are somewhere in the middle. Some of these introjects, on all ends of the spectrum, are sourced from problematic characters or problematic shows. where they land on the progress bar to source separation should not be the concern of a random discord mod that claims their server is a "safe space for systems" if they don't view introjects as their source. Forcing source separation when an introject isn't ready can be HARMFUL to not only the introject but the system AS A WHOLE.

Also i would once again like to remind folks at home that being "anti harassment" means you do not condon ANY harassment. You cannot create an anti harassment label and then say people can only harass adults, people can harass others if they prove it's deserved etc etc.

Ive seen many posts saying "im blocking everyone whose against blankqueer labels, its just harmless fun" and it really proves to me that this app lacks any reading comprehension. None of you are actually listening to what we're saying. Almost all of these labels are not just harmless fun, theyre creating a breeding ground for some VERY dangerous feelings.

Almost all of these labels are just proving to radqueers that what theyre beinf told about antis is true, we're just proving them right. Im not even joking im starting to feel so bad for all radqueers now, you guys are starting to become everything these guys are told we as antis are.

We should be making a place where radqueers won't fear being harassed, being threatened, being told they deserve to be beaten or fucking hung.

Nobody deserves to be told they should die, or that they deserved their trauma.

My friend. Respectfully. We know both of those things.

We know way more about DID than the internet would lead you to believe. We know how DID forms initially, how alters split afterwards, what happens on a psychological and neurobiological level when switching, we know what kinds of trauma will cause DID and what kind of trauma cause specific alter types, we know what leads to specific presentations of DID, we know how DID presents across the lifespan, so on and so forth.

Basically all of this stuff is covered in the theory of structural dissociation. You know, that scientific theory everyone loves to name drop but no-one actually reads? You should read it. Find a PDF of The Haunted Self or Coping With Trauma-Related Dissociation. You will find basically everything you want to know.

DID was first added to the DSM-III in 1980 (although under a different name). But we've been studying dissociative personality systems since the early 1900s, and even that was based on earlier work in related areas. The theory of structural dissociation is essentially a compilation of all the research on trauma and dissociation from the past century, and it has been continuously expanded upon and validated by modern day research involving things like neuroimaging techniques. The references section of The Haunted Self alone is 48 pages long.

There is so much research out there. There is so much information publicly shared by credible professionals that can educate you on this disorder. Don't just assume we don't know the answers to your questions if you haven't even checked if the answers are out there.

Apparently every other community on this app is allowed to exist like a normal group of people, meanwhile the DID community acts like every single post has to pass through some invisible quality control committee before it’s “acceptable” to tag.

People in fandoms post about their breakfast. Artists post about their pets. Writers post about random life updates. Chronically ill people post memes, aesthetics, daily experiences, and unrelated nonsense constantly. Nobody throws a fit over it because normal people understand that communities are made up of actual human beings, not automated information kiosks.

But the second someone with DID posts something that is not an educational dissertation on trauma, suddenly people start whining about “irrelevant content” cluttering the tags.

Why do you care that much? Genuinely.

And before someone pulls the “well people use the tags for research, advice, support, and resources” argument, spare me. If you desperately need answers immediately, Google exists. Medical Books exist. Medical journals exist. Therapists exist. Other search functions exist. You are not entitled to strangers turning their personal blogs into unpaid educational services for your convenience.

It is not the DID community’s responsibility to spoon-feed you information about your disorder every hour of the day.

People with DID are allowed to exist casually online. Shocking concept, I know.

DID impacts the way people think, communicate, behave, socialize, remember things, process emotions, and interact with literally every aspect of their lives. Of course people are going to tag unrelated posts with DID tags. Their disorder does not magically shut off the second they stop discussing symptoms directly.

Sometimes a post is tagged because the writing style reflects dissociation. Sometimes it is tagged because a specific alter wrote it. Sometimes it is tagged because the experience was shaped by the disorder even if the post itself is not educational. Sometimes people just want other systems to see it.

None of that is a crime.

The Tumblr DID community was never created exclusively for educational content. Yes, support and advice are part of it. Nobody is denying that. But somewhere along the way people started acting like systems are only allowed to speak if they're actively teaching, explaining, or justifying themselves.

That is absurd.

The point of communities like this was originally to find people similar to yourself. To interact with people who understood what it was like to live this way. To exist in a space where you did not have to constantly censor yourself to appear “normal” enough for outsiders.

It was not created so some of you could micromanage what traumatized people are “allowed” to post.

You do not own the DID tags. You do not get to dictate what qualifies as “appropriate” DID content.

And frankly, some of you seem deeply uncomfortable with the idea that people with DID are actual people outside of being educational resources. You want systems to sit quietly in the corner until they're needed to answer questions, provide advice, explain symptoms, or validate someone else’s experience. The second they post something casual, humorous, emotional, aesthetic, personal, or completely unrelated, suddenly it becomes “attention seeking” or “tag pollution.”

That sounds like a you problem.

If seeing non-informative posts in the DID tags genuinely upsets you that much, block the person posting. Post about your own experience. Find a forum specifically dedicated to clinical discussion. Make your own resource blog. Nobody is stopping you.

But expecting an entire community to restructure itself around your personal preferences is ridiculous. Tumblr has never worked that way and it never will.

People are going to continue tagging posts however they want because again, DID affects their entire lives. Their thoughts. Their behavior. Their communication. Their identity. Their social experiences. Everything.

You are not required to enjoy that. You are also not entitled to control it.

And if casual community interaction bothers you to the point where you cannot handle seeing systems talk about literally anything besides trauma and symptoms, then maybe the problem isn't the community.

Maybe it's you. Maybe you don’t actually want a community. You just want a database. And that's not what this is.

This community exists so people with DID can find other people with DID. That is the foundation of it. Human connection. Shared experiences. A place where people do not have to constantly explain themselves to outsiders who will either infantilize them, mock them, or treat them like some kind of psychological spectacle.

It was never created so random strangers could walk in expecting free labor from every system they come across.

And again, before someone intentionally misreads this, advice and support absolutely happen here. Nobody is denying that. Communities naturally help each other. That is normal. But there is a massive difference between support happening voluntarily and people acting entitled to it.

Some of you treat the DID community less like a community and more like a customer service desk.

You ask a question and suddenly expect complete strangers to educate you, reassure you, analyze your experiences, help you figure out your symptoms, validate your identity, explain your dissociation, explain your alters, explain your memory issues, and somehow provide perfectly accurate mental health guidance while also never making mistakes.

Do you hear how unreasonable that sounds?

People with DID are not professionals simply because they have DID. Having a disorder does not magically turn someone into a licensed specialist. It does not make them your therapist. It does not make them medically reliable. It does not mean they owe you explanations. And frankly, some of you put far too much weight on random Tumblr posts written by traumatized strangers at three in the morning.

Someone sharing their personal experience is not the same thing as clinical fact. Someone saying “this happened to me” is not them diagnosing you. Someone giving casual advice is not equivalent to treatment.

And some people do not want to provide support at all because they're exhausted, unstable, overwhelmed, private, uninterested, or simply because they don’t owe strangers emotional labor.

That should not be controversial.

Not everyone with DID even can help you. Some people are barely managing their own symptoms. Some people are deeply dissociated. Some people struggle with communication. Some people intentionally avoid giving advice because they know how dangerous misinformation can become online.

Yet somehow people still act offended when systems do not want their blogs turned into unpaid therapy offices.

It is unbelievably entitled.

And all of this circles back to the original point.

It genuinely does not matter if someone posts “non-DID content” while using DID tags. If they have DID, then their disorder inherently affects how they interact with the world, how they express themselves, and how they exist online.

Their blog does not have to transform into a sterile educational archive just because you personally searched a tag expecting only resources.

People with DID are allowed to joke. They're allowed to post art. They're allowed to post aesthetics, life updates, opinions, memes, arguments, interests, hobbies, and completely unrelated nonsense.

They're allowed to exist as people first.

And if someone with DID chooses to tag those posts with DID tags because their disorder influences the way they communicate or because they want other systems to see their content, that is entirely their choice.

You are not harmed by seeing a post that is not tailored specifically to your needs.

Curate your own internet experience like everyone else does.

Block people. Filter tags. Follow resource blogs. Find support groups specifically designed for education and advice. There are countless ways to tailor your online experience without demanding an entire community change how it functions to accommodate you personally.

At the end of the day, people with DID do not stop being people just because they joined a DID community.