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@allyndra

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I saw a post about Shane and Ilya being sad that they can't thank each other in their acceptance speeches like other can with their spouses and it got me thinking:
Ilya wins his first awards and hes got nobody he really wants to thank after his team and coach cause he he hates his family but he knows his speech is too short so on impulse he goes "And I want to thank Shane Hollander for being slightly worse than me this season". Everyone knows it was going to one of those two, so everyone thinks hes an asshole to say that but whats new so it works for him. But from then on it then becomes a bit for both of them to thank each other in their speeches in a snide way as a reason they won.
Shane winning the Art Ross Trophy (Awarded to the player who leads the league inΒ total pointsΒ at the end of the regular season). and going "special thanks to Rozanov for missing at least 5 shots this season, he was a huge help"
Ilya winning the Conn Smythe Trophy (Awarded to the most valuable player for his team in the playoffs.) "Just want to give a quick shout out to Hollander for getting knocked out in the second round this season. Must hate to see me up here."
They find a way to mention the other in their speeches every time all the time.
Emma Thompson as Beatrice MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING (1993) dir. Kenneth Branagh
Pride & Prejudice variation where eldest half-sister Caroline Bingley marries a widowed Mr. Bennet with five daughters and then gets her brother to rent Netherfield Park so she can throw her stepdaughters at him and his friend Darcy so her son doesn't have to support 5 spinsters
"Look Charles, there are five of them, four are pretty, they all have different personalities so there must be one who clicks with you, take her off my hands."
"Yes, Mr. Bennet STILL refuses to let me take them all to London. I could get these girls married off so quickly if I could get them there, you cannot even imagine."
All the girls have pristine educations and dowries because Caroline wants them GONE and she knows how to do it
Wouldn't she just marry them off to whomever just to dispose of them?
Caroline? The Queen of Networking? No, she's got five chances at making advantageous connections and she's gonna use them
#caroline bingley would be planning an entire caroline empire based on the advantageous connections she can make for the girls#i don't know why people are changing austen ladies into girlbosses when caroline bingley is RIGHT THERE
You get me @captain-kit-adventuress
Girl has PLOTS
#i do wonder if their marriage would be better or worse than w Mrs Bennet tho#like on one hand Caroline is smart and tuned in#on the other hand she probably wouldnt just leave Mr. Bennet alone w his books all the time#and she WOULD notice and get upset if he made fun of her#they also dont share very similar values#prob theyd end up just as dysfunctional in another way (from @sandersgrey)
I think they might actually get along. Caroline is very good at mirroring people, as she does with Mr. Darcy, and she'd quickly catch on to Mr. Bennet's way of cynically mocking those around him and join in. Caroline is well educated and intelligent enough that Mr. Bennet would probably enjoy talking to her, even if she's not quite at Elizabeth's level. And I think with Caroline getting the house in order, Mr. Bennet might be less likely to retreat to the library.
It might be unfortunate for the girls if they have two parents making cutting remarks about them instead of one, the dynamic in P&P is that Mr. Bennet insults his daughters and Mrs. Bennet defends them, but hopefully it doesn't go too far that way. Caroline would want to talk up the girls to others, so maybe she'd start good PR at home.

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βscientists donβt want you knowβ is a phrase that always cracks me up because if you actually meet a scientist they will be shaking and crying like an overstimulated chihuahua with the need to let you know
they used to let kids have real fun
There's an xkcd for that :3
Side note: polonium-210 is a very dangerous isotope, however it "does not pose a radiation hazard when kept outside the body", as the alpha particle it emits have very little penetration power and cannot pierce even the outer layers of dead skin. It has still killed countless people, though, not because of children's rings, but because of tobacco. Polonium latches onto and concentrates in tobacco leaves, leading to heavy smokers being exposed to more radiation than survivors of the Chernobyl disaster.
It's always wild to me seeing comments about different toxins like this on information about random things in the past, but it's never discussed when it comes to cigarettes.
WE HAVE A LAUNCH DATE FOR FANSPLAINING 2.0! And it is very soon: next Wednesday, April 29th. πππ
We're so excited to share everything we've been working on these past few months (starting with a *big* piece by @lincodega on The Pitt fandomβyes, for once, it's by someone who's actually in the fandomβwith some amazing stuff in the queue for the following weeks.)
More soon!!
Currently somewhat overwhelmed by the amount of work left to do π¬ but I am also very excited!! We have such good pieces in the pipeline, and I'm so hopeful folks are interested in supporting this so we can commission WAY more.
A Hockey Love Story: Laura Stacey and Marie-Philip Poulin navigate marriage and careerΒ

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I'm sorry, is this... Is this implying there's no DYE in that rug? All raw wool in its natural colours? She fucking bred the sheep to get the colours she wanted over the course of ten years!? Holy shit.
itβs wild to me how there is literally ZERO correlation between what a piece of media is like and what its fanworks are like. 2014 captain america fans were out there writing poetry and full-on academic papers inside of their fics. sonic the hedgehog and my little pony fandoms are both famous for drawing fetishes youβve never even heard of. les miserables fans spent most of their energy on college aus. there is literally no consistency or observable pattern and itβs incredible
#my theory is that fanworks reflect what people found missing in the canon#so like. sonic and mlp. obviously#les miz want les amis to be happy and alive and goofing around#and uh. mcu fans want the mcu to be well-writtenΒ (via dicaeopolis)
Please enjoy this supercut of Hikaru Sulu getting high
(It was a stressful five-year mission, ok)
Happy birthday, George Takei (April 20, 1937)
Jeeves and Wooster as incorrect quotes
Screen caps by @bluebassy
repulsive

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sometimes itβs They Would Not Fucking Get Married but sometimes itβs just They Would Not Have A Fucking Wedding. send those characters to the courthouse on a tuesday or so help me
this is probably my favorite tiktok of all time and I finally got around to showing it to my dad the other day and now he comes home every day and tells me about all the places he saw crumbling concrete and says "guess they didn't add enough chinchilla flakes"
My dad has worked in construction is whole life, primarily with a company that does concrete foundations, and I immediately sent him this back when I first found it on TikTok, and he IMMEDIATELY shared it with everyone he worked with. They apparently still quote it on his job sites to this day.