A Good Jewish Boy

That’s a good not!flaw you can use in job interviews! Especially if your position is overseen by management, they love to hear that you’ll follow orders and do more than is expected of you.

Anyway this is kind of a combination of the book and the movie? 

Bill’s biggest flaw is impulsivity. This is linked to his near suicidal self hatred. He’ll jump pussy first into any situation without fucking thinking because he has never had a brain! He puts himself and his friends in danger in all three incarnations of the story because of this. 

Richie’s biggest flaw is that he doesn’t know when to stop. He can’t seem to read a room, and he’s always pulling out just the wrong thing to say in any given situation. He makes each of the Losers mad at him at some point or another, and he rarely seems to self reflect on his actions. 

Eddie’s biggest flaw is his tendency to coddle himself. Eddie doesn’t think he can do things, and it creates a feedback loop where he can’t do things because he psyches himself out. There’s so many points where Eddie has stepped up and was brave and active but he refuses to recognize what that means.

Stan’s biggest flaw is his stubbornness. He has a rigid worldview and he refuses to compromise, and it causes him to have outbursts and mental breakdowns. Instead of listening to his friends he just dismisses their stories out of hand, this causes him to feel separate from them, which is shockingly not great for social cohesion? If you’re wondering why Stan feels like he doesn’t like the Losers it’s because he’s bad at integrating himself because he’s bad at being open minded and trusting people! 

Mike’s biggest flaw is his naivete. I hate that the movie made his character arc be about growing a pair and inflicting violence on another living being, but that’s what it is. Mike has nothing to do in the movie, so in the book, his flaw is basically yours. He’s too nice. He gives people the benefit of the doubt and he lets people use him. I’m thinking he’s aware of how race plays into that dynamic as well (he may well be trying to avoid racist interactions by doing this, or maybe he wills himself into believing his white friends would never hurt or betray him).

Ben’s biggest flaw is he tries to isolate himself. He resigns himself to not having friends. He doesn’t even know what loneliness is because it doesn’t occur to him that having zero friends isn’t good for a developing child. Also in the movie, he’s very nervous about the Losers seeing his room because he wants them to like him. He’s not confident in his passions. 

Bill Denbrough would’ve said “I’m with Kesha #timesup”

Jacob Barber would’ve said “Kesha’s music is trash but what she went through is still horrible.”

Jacob Thrombey would’ve said “Kesha is a lying whore the liberal media is trying to criminalize men breathing around women!”

Bill: BBQ

Mike: salt and vinegar 

Eddie: lowfat plain

Richie: sour cream and onion

Stan: kettle cooked (also lowfat)

Bev: spicy jalapeno 

Well the season was short and really fast to watch. And the fandom was very badly fractured by the lesbian discourse. Normally that kind of shit can make arguments last weeks but I guess everyone got super butthurt and everyone blocked each other within a week. Plus, there’s just not a lot to talk about. 

Mike wants a lot of pets but Stan is allergic to everything. Stan’s just going to have to deal because there is no universe in which Mike 40+ doesn’t run a dog sanctuary. Stan wants kids but Mike is like “Iunno bout that chief...” but see Mike is worried about how good a father he’ll be because he had to watch his own father die, those are PRIMO daddy issues. 

He just has to HEAL and GROW and of course Stan is someone who would help with that. Like when you’re in a relationship with Stan and he’s the adventurous one?? Girl.

I still see them living in Atlanta, but they could live anywhere, they both could really work anywhere if they had to. But since they’re gen x scum, they’d probably live in New York, that’s just where they would’ve gone to live openly. 

They don’t have arguments, they have discussions. The academics jumped out, and it can get grating with all the false niceties, but their relationship is pretty frictionless. Mike and Stan... do not thrive in drama (at least not when it directly involves them, they watch Real Housewives for a reason). If there’s an issue they need to discuss they just discuss them. 

Richie’s parents already suspect, but they don’t say anything. This concept is called homo suspicion. In all but the most hippy of parents, it’s a mechanism of guilt. Even parents who are accepting will turn it into “How could you hide it from us, thinking we wouldn’t accept you.”

Homo suspicion doesn’t include the knowing parents who smile to each other as their flaming homo fag child dances out of the room. It doesn’t need to be said, but when he does come out, they usually don’t say “Oh we always knew,” they just say encouraging or supporting things. I don’t think that applies to any of the Losers.

So Richie’s parents are definitely a little “Why won’t he tell us, it’s obvious :( does he think we won’t love him, are we not good parents? :(((” making it largely about themselves. But! They hide that part of themselves. When Richie comes out, they’re nothing but smiles and hugs.

Sonia has homo suspicion for Eddie, but it’s not the generally harmless kind. She’s deathly afraid that Eddie is gay, and actively tries to disprove that nagging thought in the back of her head. She’ll see Eddie do something clockable and she’ll bite her fist, her wormy eyes widening, she’s seeping sweat. “My baby! Not my baby! He’ll die of aids!!” That’s what goes through her head. So when Eddie comes out, it’s trying to cut through a lot of denial and gaslighting. “I knew there was something wrong with you but I tried to protect you! I tried to save you from this disease!! And this is how you repay me! I’m not having it, don’t you ever say something like that to me again, your poor mother!!!” 

And then we get to Bill’s parents, oof. They don’t believe him when he comes out. They think he’s doing it for attention, or to be trendy. “You read about being- being bisexual (said like it’s poison) on the internet and you’re confused.” Actually probably not that disgusted. I think Bill’s parents just brush it off. Like, “You’re straight son lol,” and Bill’s like “I’m telling you I’m not,” and they’re like “Okay sure lol,” and I mean...

Bill definitely employs the ironic closet strategy. If he acts faggy but makes it a joke, he can slowly poke his toes out of the closet. He often jokes about fucking men, playfully flirts with his friends, always “sarcastically” wants to kiss Stan. But the downside is that when you do genuinely come out, some people won’t believe you. Bill’s parents are like “Haha very funny Bill,” and then they get mad when Bill insinuates that they’re really deep down reluctant to accept him. “We’re not homophobic Bill! How dare you accuse us of being hateful!”

I think Stan’s parents would be more taken aback by it. They’d just straight up tell him he’s confused. We don’t know a lot about Andrea, but I think she’d have a little bit of a conflict within herself. I think she suspected from a very early age but Donald was just a clueless bitch. So both of them will confront Stan and scold him for trying to come out to them but Andrea will come to Stan’s room later and be like “Your dad is a fuckhead, I still love you.” But even then... I don’t know, to Stan it still feels like conditional love. Like she’s saying “If you want to choose this lifestyle that’s your choice and I respect your decision.” Andrea will eventually end up holding a sign at Pride but it’ll take her a hot second to get there. 

Ben’s straight, moving on! 

Bev’s parents are not involved, and just the implications of her mom and dad reacting to her being bi or a lesbian... I don’t really want to touch it? So let’s just say, they’re probably not model parents for a child attempting to come out.