Fantastically Tired

Doesn't even take a whole day

I know this is a joke but you can counteract over salting by adding acid, like lemon juice or a splash of vinegar

we were baking brownies and added ¼ cup of salt instead of a ¼ teaspoon. eagerly awaiting your updated advice

you doubled the salt by 48. you can do that to the rest of your ingredients (like if you had a cup of sugar add 47 more cups). it’ll all balance out!

ok i do realize this but i also don’t actually have, like, 144 cups of flour lying around my apartment. and i cannot stress this enough: absolutely no one involved in this story was sober enough to drive anywhere for anything

I would let a racoon do surgery on me

Have you seen their little hands? Those motherfuckers would give me a great heart transplant for the low low cost of a cold pizza slice

you do realize where racoons' little hands have been right

is that the...only reason you wouldn’t let a raccoon give you a heart transplant?

Come on! They are so well known for washing their hands that they’s called “washing bears” in German! You don’t have to worry about where their hands have been!

Well! you heard it folks, getting a heart transplant from a raccoon is perfectly safe!

so casual i love it

a sleepover with jc and the boys

THIS TURNED INTO THE GREATEST THING IVE EVER SEEN

The Roman Catholic church is the only Christian faith with any mettle.

It’s not bread. It’s Jesus, dipshit. Next question.

hot girl summer is over it’s scary woman winter