All that glitters

Michael stepped into the room and froze. Alex’s eyes were closed but he could tell he wasn’t sleeping. His breath was rapid and shallow, an indication he was in pain. “Why isn’t he on pain meds?”

“Because I don’t like the way they make me feel. Kyle, is there a reason the one person I didn’t want to see is standing in my room?” Alex asked without opening his eyes.

“If you didn’t want to see me, maybe you should update your emergency contact. What the hell did you do?” Michael crossed the room and stood over Alex’s bed.

Alex opened his eyes at that, hurt flashing briefly before being replaced with anger. “What did I do? Of course, I’m hurt and it’s my fault.”

Michael swallowed around the lump in his throat. “That came out wrong. What happened?”

“Car accident.” Kyle answered. “Someone was speeding on Main Street and ran the stoplight.”

“Are we sure it was an accident?” Michael pulled a chair over and sat down. He wanted to reach out and grab Alex’s hand but wasn’t sure that would be appreciated.

“Yes, the driver was late for work and thought they had enough time to make the light.” Alex replied.

“Your father could still be behind it.” Michael insisted.

“Doubtful. But I’ll look into it when I get home. Speaking of, when can I get out of here?”

Kyle shifted uncomfortably. “Um, about that.”

Alex turned his head to look at Kyle. “What?”

“Your prosthetic was damaged when they pulled you out of the car. It’s going to be a week or two before we can get you fitted for a new one. And your wrist needs to be cast before you can go.”

Alex closed his eyes and groaned. “So, I’m stuck here?”

“Not exactly. I have a solution that will let you go home this afternoon.” Kyle replied.

“Am I going to like this solution?” Alex asked.

“Probably not but the alternative is staying here or the rehab center on base.”

Alex opened one eye and tried to glare at him. “Just spit it out, Kyle.”

“Michael can stay with you.”

Alex barked out a laugh. “No, not happening. I’ll hire someone.”

“I’m really so bad you’d rather hire a stranger? A stranger you’d have to let into your home?” Michael asked.

“Yes. I’d rather have a stranger in my home than someone who not only told me we’re not good for each other but is dating my supposed best friend.”

“We’re not dating. And I was angry when I said that. Besides, what does any of that have to do with me helping you? Isn’t that what family does?” Michael said.

Alex scoffed. “Oh, we’re family now?”

Kyle sighed. “Alex, do you want to go home?”

“Yes! But I don’t need help.” Alex insisted.

“Stop being so damn stubborn! You can survive a week or two with Michael. You know he’s the best choice to help you out…you know with his special skills.” Kyle gave him a pointed look.

Alex rolled his eyes but he knew Kyle was right. Michael’s telekinesis would help him get around easier until he could get a new prosthetic. And even though he was still angry with Michael, he trusted him. He sighed. “Fine. But you’re gone the minute I get my new leg.”

“Anything you say, private.” Michael smirked when Alex turned and glared at him.

***

Michael parked in Alex’s driveway and hurried to help him out. Once he was on the ground Michael asked, “How do you want to do this?”

“Just hand me my crutches. I’ll be fine. I don’t know why Kyle insisted you stay with me.”

“Because your wrist is broken and you shouldn’t be putting weight on it.” Michael replied.

Alex rolled his eyes and Michael put his hands up in defeat. “Fine. Here. Try not to fall over.”

Alex snatched the crutches from Michael and slid them on his arms. He moved to take a step and hissed at the pain shooting through his wrist. Determined to make it inside without help, he took another step and would have crumpled to the ground without Michael’s telekinesis.

“Would you like me to carry you?”

“Over my dead body.” Alex spat out.

“Yeah, that’s not gonna happen. I’m here to keep your stubborn ass from hurting yourself even more.”

“You’re confusing self sufficient with stubborn. People tend to let me down so I learned to rely on myself.” Alex said.

Michael’s brow furrowed. “When have I let you down?”

“Do you want a list?” Alex said without thinking. If he hadn’t been staring at Michael he would have missed the pain that crossed his face. “Fuck. I didn’t mean that. Look, just let me lean on you and use that brain of yours to keep me upright.”

They made it into the house without incident. Michael helped Alex to his room and arranged the bed for him. “Are you hungry? I can make something,” he said softly, still hurt by Alex’s comment.

Alex shrugged. “I could eat. Hospital food sucks. Not sure what I have though, I’m not good at the whole food shopping thing.”

“I’m sure I’ll find something. I can go shopping for you later. Just make me a list of what you like.” Michael turned to leave.

“Guerin, wait.”

Michael didn’t turn around. “What is it, Alex?”

“I’m sorry for what I said.”

“Forget about it. I’ll be back in a bit with the food.” Michael headed to the kitchen.

Alex leaned back against his pillow and closed his eyes. Why did being around Michael always throw him off balance? He thought avoiding him after he expressed his interest in Maria would help heal his broken heart and make it easier to be around him, but it didn’t. It just made it painfully obvious that he still loved him. Of course, he never had the chance to tell Michael that and now he wasn’t sure it would make a difference.

***

Alex woke to Michael softly calling his name. He rubbed his eyes and tried to sit up. “What smells so good?”

Michael set a tray on the dresser and helped Alex sit up, fluffing the pillows behind him. “Just pasta and sauce. Nothing fancy.”

“I had sauce?” Alex noticed Michael still wasn’t himself and his stomach tightened with guilt.

“No, but I found some canned tomatoes that were still good and I added some spices. I have to say I was surprised at the variety you have, I didn’t think you were big on cooking.” He set the tray across Alex’s lap and placed the bottle of water on his nightstand.

“I’m not. They were a gift from Kyle. I think he’s trying to get me to stop eating so much take out and frozen dinners.” Alex took a bite of the pasta and almost moaned at how good it tasted. “This is amazing! Where’d you learn to cook like this?”

Michael shrugged. “Here and there. Mostly from Sanders.”

Alex lowered his eyes and took a deep breath. “Michael, I was an asshole earlier. I hate feeling vulnerable even when it’s with someone I trust as much as I trust you. I’m sorry for saying you let me down enough that I have a list.”

“You trust me?” Michael looked like he didn’t believe him.

“With my life.” Alex answered. “Hey, can you sit down, it’s messing with my neck looking up at you.”

Michael looked around the room in confusion. Alex chuckled and patted the bed next to him. “It’s okay, I don’t bite.”

He toed off his boots and settled next to Alex. “That’s a lie you know.”

“What’s a lie?”

Before he thought better of it, Michael leaned close to Alex’s ear. “You love to bite.”

Alex’s breath caught in his throat. He grabbed the water and took a big swallow, desperately trying to figure out what to say. He felt his cheeks flush and took another bite of food instead.

Michael cleared his throat. “Uh, I talked to Sanders while you were sleeping and told him I’d be staying here for a week or two. It’s been slow at the junkyard so he won’t miss me. I’ll try not to bother you while I’m here.”

“You won’t be a bother. But uh…is Maria okay with you staying here?” Alex asked, chest tightening with jealousy he shouldn’t be feeling. Michael made it perfectly clear he wasn’t his anymore.

“Not sure it matters to her anymore. I was serious at the hospital, we’re not dating.”

Alex felt the tension leave him. “You’re not?”

Michael shook his head. “Nope.”

When he didn’t expand on his answer, Alex cleared his throat. “I’m sorry.”

“Are you finished? I’ll clean up and head to the store for supplies.” Michael stood and took the tray from Alex. “Do you think you’ll be okay for an hour?”

Alex nodded. “If you get my wallet I’ll give you my credit card.”

Michael stiffened. “I’m perfectly capable of paying for groceries.”

Alex realized his mistake and tried to back peddle. “I know you are but you’re doing me a favor so I just figured I’d pay.”

“It’s not necessary. You need anything before I go?” Michael asked, not meeting Alex’s eyes. Truthfully, buying extra groceries would probably leave him stretched thin for a bit but he wasn’t going to admit that to Alex.

“No. I think I’ll just rest while you’re gone. Get whatever you want since you’ll be doing the cooking. Maybe we can watch a movie when you get back?”

Michael’s heart leapt at the quietly spoken invitation. He smiled brightly. “I’d like that. I’ll be back before you know it.” He took the tray into the kitchen and headed out the front door.

Alex sighed when he heard the door close. “What am I doing?”

***

Michael was able to put away all the groceries, clean up the dishes from lunch and start an early dinner before Alex woke from his nap. He quietly opened the door to check on him for the third time since he got back and Alex sleepily turned his head to the sound. “You’re back.”

“I’ve been back for a while. I hope you’re okay with roasted chicken and vegetables.”

“That sounds great. Um, could you help me up?” Alex struggled to sit up.

“You can stay here until dinner. You should rest.” Michael said.

“I’ve been resting. But now I need to use the bathroom so…”

Michael rushed to his side. “Sorry, I should have asked. What do you need me to do?”

Alex laughed. “Just help me up and let me lean on you. I’ve got some handrails in the bathroom so I’ll be fine once I get there.”

Michael helped him to the bathroom and let go once Alex grabbed a handrail. “I’ll be right outside.”

“Thanks.”

After the bathroom, Michael helped Alex get comfortable on the couch then he went to check on dinner. “It’s almost ready, do you want another bottle of water?”

“I’d actually love a beer.” Alex called back, smiling when a beer floated into his waiting hand.

Michael sat down next to Alex sipping his own beer. “How are you doing? Still in pain?”

“Nothing I can’t handle.”

“What’s the deal with not wanting to take pain medication?”

Alex shrugged. “I don’t like how they make me feel.”

“How do they make you feel?” Michael prodded.

Alex shrugged again but didn’t answer, instead he took a long drink of beer.

“Sorry, it’s none of my business.”

Alex tried to meet Michael’s eyes but quickly lowered them. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “It’s hard to explain. Growing up, feeling pain meant I was still alive, that my father hadn’t broken me. So when I take pain meds now, my brain thinks something is wrong and I panic. I know it’s not logical and I’ll probably heal faster if I’m not in pain but I just can’t bring myself to take them.”

Michael nodded, rubbing his hand where the scars used to be. “I get it. I wish I could heal you like Max could.”

Alex reached out and took Michael’s hand. “It’s okay that you can’t.”

“I better check dinner.” Michael pulled his hand away and went to the kitchen.

Alex watched him leave and sighed. He seemed to be making Michael uncomfortable with everything he did or said. He needed to clear the air because they couldn’t spend the next two weeks walking on eggshells around each other. Unfortunately, communication was not his strong suit. Everything he learned about communication came from the Air Force and his father. In the Air Force you were either the one following orders or the one giving them. And his father’s idea of communication was using his fists and yelling ‘do you understand?’ Still, he needed to do something, anything because he didn’t want Michael to leave once he got his new leg. He wanted Michael to stay, forever.

Michael glanced into the living room and took a deep breath to calm his racing heart. Being so close to Alex without fighting with him brought back memories long buried. Memories of the two of them cuddled under a blanket in the back of his truck, looking at the stars and sharing their dreams. Dreams neither of them ever got to achieve. Dreams that once upon a time included each other. The few short hours he had spent in Alex’s home, cooking and taking care of him made Michael realize this is where he wanted to be. This is where he wanted to spend the rest of his life, with Alex.

***

Alex set his fork down and smiled at Michael. “I think I need to send Sanders some tequila as a thank you. I haven’t eaten this good in a long time.”

Michael blushed. “He’s more of a whisky kind of guy.”

“Seriously Guerin, dinner was delicious. I could never make something like this, thank you.”

“It wasn’t a big deal. I can teach you once you’re better.” Michael casually offered.

“I’d like that. Cooking is probably a skill I can use to keep from starving or going broke ordering takeout.” Alex joked.

Michael placed the plates in the sink. “Did you still want to watch the movie?”

“I’m still kind of tired but we can watch if you want to.” Alex offered.

Michael shook his head. “Let me get you settled in bed and then I’ll clean the dishes.”

“I was hoping to maybe take a shower before bed…”

“Can you do that with your wrist?” Michael swallowed hard, trying to get the image of Alex wet and naked out of his head.

“You’re right, maybe a bath would be better? Kyle did say the cast is waterproof so once I get in the tub I’ll be fine.”

“Okay, let me put the leftovers away and I’ll give you a hand.” Michael covered the pan and placed it in the refrigerator.

Michael turned on the water and adjusted the temperature while Alex sat on the toilet seat watching him. “Thanks. I’ll call you if I need anything.”

Michael furrowed his brow. “Are you going to be able to get in without help?”

“I think I’ll be okay. I still have one good leg and one good hand but thanks.” Alex waited until Michael left before stripping and pulling himself up with his left hand. It was actually harder than he thought it would be and he lost his balance. He caught himself before he fell face first into the tub but various bottles crashed to the floor.

Michael rushed into the bathroom at the sound and sucked his breath in at the sight before him. Alex was naked, gripping the handrail, eyes a little frantic. “You okay?” He croaked out.

Alex nodded, not trusting himself to speak yet. Michael was staring at him, the lust evident in his eyes.

“What do you need?” Michael asked softly, not breaking eye contact.

Alex decided to be brave. “You.”

“What?”

“You, Michael. I need you to help me into the tub and I want you to stay with me.” Alex reached out with his right hand, the left still clutching the handrail.

“I-I’m still not sure what you’re asking?” Michael was sure Alex could hear his heart beating in his chest. Was he saying what Michael hoped he was saying? Did he want Michael like Michael wanted him?

“I’m not good with words, that’s more your thing.” Alex began softly.

Michael smiled sweetly and took his hand, squeezing the fingers peeking out from the cast. “You do okay.”

“I miss you, Michael. I miss your hands on my body. I miss your lips on mine. I miss the way my heart skips a beat when you do that thing with your tongue. I miss everything about you.” Alex rushed out.

Michael wrapped his free hand around Alex’s waist and pulled him close. “I miss you too, private.”

Alex opened his mouth to correct him, yet again but any sound he was going to make was silenced with Michael’s lips on his.

When they broke apart, Alex saw Michael’s eyes filled with unshed tears. “What’s wrong?”

“I never thought I’d get to have this again. I thought I screwed it all up when I went to Maria.” Michael admitted.

Alex brushed his lips against Michael’s again. “You get to have this if you want it but please, can we not talk about Maria right now. I know we have to talk, like really talk but can we get naked and wet first?”

Michael kissed Alex hard and sloppy before gently helping him into the tub. Once he was sure Alex wasn’t going to slip and fall, he turned off the water, stripped out of his clothes and slid into the tub. He settled behind Alex and wrapped his arms around his chest, circling his nipple with this thumb. “We can get as wet as you want.”

A soft moan escaped from Alex’s lips. He shifted back, leaning his head against Michael’s chest. Michael leaned down and kissed his neck behind his ear, smiling when Alex moaned. Encouraged by the soft sound, Michael slid his hands down Alex’s chest and settled them between his thighs, gently caressing him.

“You good?” Michael asked, voice low and breathless.

“Mmhmm.” Alex stretched his neck to give Michael better access.

Michael took the invitation for what it was and kissed him again. “I’ve missed this.”

Alex turned and captured Michael’s mouth with his, biting at his bottom lip. He parted his lips and Alex licked into his mouth, turning the kiss dirty and sloppy. When he broke away to catch his breath, his heart sped up at the soft look in Michael’s eyes. He smiled and snuggled into Michael’s neck.

“Baby, I want you…” Michael whispered in his ear.

“I’m yours.” Alex whispered back, gasping when Michael wrapped a hand around him and started stroking him slowly.

“Yeah? You’re mine?”

“I’ve always been yours. God, I forgot how good you are at this.”

Michael reached a hand up and gently ran a thumb across his lips. “I’m yours too, you know.”

Alex gasped when Michael nipped at a spot behind his ear before gently kissing away the sting.

“That’s it, baby, let me hear you. How do you feel?”

“So good, Michael, you make me feel so good.” Alex closed his eyes and lost himself in the pleasure Michael was pulling out of him. He wanted to stay in this moment forever. He never felt as safe and loved as he did with Michael wrapped around him.

Michael changed his rhythm and sped up his strokes, wanting nothing more than to bring Alex over the edge. He wasn’t disappointed a few moments later when he came shouting Michael’s name.

Alex snuggled against Michael, not caring that the water was getting cold or that his chest was covered in his come. He opened his eyes and looked up at Michael. The soft smile combined with the gentle caress of Michael’s thumb on his cheek made him bold. “I love you.”

“I love you too, baby.” Michael kissed Alex for a few moments before using his powers to pull the plug, letting the water drain around them. He managed to get them standing without much effort. “I think we need a shower now. Then maybe bed?”

Alex ran his hands down Michael’s chest, while he adjusted the water. “Mmmm, I like the sound of that. I want to feel you inside me, want you to fuck me.”

Michael pulled the body wash to him and gently cleaned Alex’s chest. “That’s not what I meant.”

“You don’t want to fuck me?” Alex almost sounded like he was pouting.

“Of course I do! I always want to fuck you but we’re not doing anything else tonight.” Satisfied that Alex was clean, he turned off the water and grabbed a towel to wrap him in.

“Why not?” Michael looked at him and Alex was definitely pouting now.

“Because you just got released from the hospital. I’m sure sex is on the list of things Valenti doesn’t want you to do. You need to relax so you can heal.” Michael guided Alex to sit on the closed toilet seat and quickly dried himself off.

Alex rolled his eyes. “I’m fine. I want this. I want you.”

Michael leaned down and kissed him. “I want you too but I also want you to get better. You’re exhausted, I can see it in your eyes. Let’s go to sleep and see how you feel in the morning.”

“I’m still going to want you in the morning.”

Michael scooped Alex up, ignoring his sound of protest. “Then you can fuck me in the morning.”

Alex sighed against Michael’s neck. “I could get used to this.”

“Me carrying you around?” Michael joked, setting him on the bed.

“No, I will never get used to that. I meant us…I could get used to us.”

“Well, I’m glad to hear that because I’m not going anywhere. I’m done pushing you away, I’m done being the drunk asshole who hurts you, I’m done trying to deny how I feel about you. I’m here for as long as you want me.” Michael sat on the bed next to Alex and held his face in his hands. He rubbed his jawline and stared into Alex’s eyes. “I’m sorry for every horrible thing I’ve said or done to you. I need you to know I’ve loved you since the moment you snatched your guitar back from me, I just didn’t realize until we kissed under those ridiculous fake stars.”

Alex felt a tear slip down his cheek. “Michael, I’m sorry too. I’m sorry for leaving you behind when I enlisted. I’m sorry for not seeing that something else was going on that summer. I’m sorry for every time I pulled you back in and then walked away. I’ve loved you since that day under the stars too, I just let what happened in the shed and my father’s bullshit get in the way. But I’m done letting shit stand in our way. I’ve lost pieces of myself over the years, to war, to my father, to this shitty town, but not anymore. I love you and if anyone tries to hurt us again I will burn the world down to stop it. Because you are the piece I can’t go through life without.”

Michael brushed the tears from Alex’s cheeks.”Nothing is going to tear us apart again. You know why?”

Alex leaned his forehead on Michael’s. “Why?”

Isobel stepped aside. “Do you want to come in?”

Alex nodded and walked past her. Isobel shut the door. “I’m going to put these in water. They’re beautiful by the way. Who knew you had it in you?”

“I just let the florist do their job.” Alex followed her into the kitchen.

She arranged them in a vase before turning back to him. “I’m sorry too. I never should have gone into your nightmare like that. I really was trying to help.”

Alex sighed. “I know. My reaction was out of line. I didn’t mean for you to leave. Please tell me you at least slept a little before you snuck out.”

“First of all I never sneak anywhere. And no, I left after you closed the door. I messed up, Alex, and after you had been so nice to me. I’m trying to be a better person. I know how awful I was in high school and while I was married to Noah. But-“

Alex held up his hand. “Stop. You were not awful in high school, at least not to me. You may have had some mean girl tendencies but you were never cruel to anyone. And honestly, you weren’t in control half of the time so even if you were full on Regina George I’d forgive you. And you were never awful when you were married to Noah.”

Isobel chuckled. “What do you know? You were gone for ten years.”

“I was here more often than you realized. And Michael always had good things to say about you.”